Ella Harper - The Years of Loving You

Ed’s groin jerked. Not a twitch – a full-on jerk. The likes of which normally required physical contact of some kind. This one, however, was so sharp it damned near took his breath away. Molly’s mouth on his skin, her hair under his nostrils, her warm body curved around his. It was a sensory-overload situation. But Ed welcomed it. Wanted it, craved it.

‘What is that God awful song?’ Ed said, trying desperately to grasp a moment to rein himself in.

‘What?’

‘That song. What … what is it?’

Molly lifted her head. ‘It’s that one that bangs on about showing someone heaven. Maria thingy. From that film about the cars. NASCAR racing.’

Ed was none the wiser. But it had bought him a moment. Over Molly’s shoulder, he saw Jody standing in the doorway. She shot him a look – shock? Contempt? Loathing? Ed wasn’t sure. But he was fairly certain Jody would never utter another word to him again, unless it was either ‘fucking’ or ‘bastard’. He couldn’t blame her. Why was he such a shit sometimes? Ed forgot about Jody two seconds later when Molly put her mouth to his ear.

‘Let’s go upstairs,’ she whispered. ‘Right now. I want your hands on me. All over me.’

Ed bit his lip. He was aroused. God, but he was aroused. He could barely see straight. He wanted Molly badly. Badly. Was he taking advantage of her? Could he resist? It wasn’t exactly helping that he only had a ridiculous apron between his desperately rearing manhood and Molly and her warm, lovely skin.

Jeepers alive, how was a man supposed to cope with such a thing? He shouldn’t do this with her. She was drunk, he had to stop this …

‘I’m not drunk,’ she said. Molly could tell Ed was battling with himself, no doubt reminding himself she was drunk, that he was taking advantage of her. She had to stop him thinking that way. ‘I want you. Ok?’

Molly took his hand and led him out of the kitchen. Led him up the stairs, into her bedroom. Her heart was thumping but this was right. It was right.

‘Molly …’ Ed tried to speak but her mouth was upon his again.

‘I want to lose my virginity to you,’ she murmured, kissing him again.

He pulled back, stunned.

Molly went bright red. ‘Jesus. I can’t believe I just said that! What a bloody idiot. I’m ancient and still a virgin.’ She openly cringed, her fists balling tightly. She went to turn away from him, but Ed held her steady. He felt a rush of something for her but he couldn’t quite identify what it was. He just knew he didn’t want to let go of her.

‘Molly, you don’t want to do that with me.’

‘Yes, I do.’ She met his eyes fiercely. Something about Ed always made her feel a bit defensive. He called it her ‘feistiness’ and he made much of both enjoying it and inciting it, but Molly knew it was because he was the one person who was capable of exercising some sort of power over her. And in the same way, she made much of both enjoying it and inciting it.

‘You’ve slept with tons of girls, Ed. You must be ace at this. And we’re friends. I know you, you know me – almost inside and out. Who better for my first time?’ Molly meant it. She had made a decision downstairs in the kitchen. It had to be Ed. Had to be! Who else would she trust like this? It didn’t have to mean anything heavy. Surely they were grown-ups, surely they could do this and still be friends?

Molly had no idea if that was the case. She wasn’t even sure she believed it herself. Did she just want it because it was Ed? Because she so very badly wanted Ed?

Molly started to say something. But she felt too exposed, too vulnerable.

Ed took a shaky breath. Molly wanted to sleep with him because he was experienced. So that her first time was a good one. Because they were friends. Not because … Christ. He wanted her so much. But did he want her like this?

‘This should … you should …’

Ed mentally slapped himself. He had to stop this, to nip it in the bud. He wanted Molly more than he had wanted anyone, but he wasn’t going to sleep with her if it was just because she wanted a so-called ‘expert’ to be her first.

‘Molly.’ He held her by the arms, as much in his own defence as in hers. ‘This is a huge moment. We’re friends, very good friends, but that’s not a reason for us to … to do this. You should … your first should be someone you love. If at all possible.’

‘I bet yours wasn’t,’ she retorted.

‘Well, maybe not.’ Ed took that on the chin. Had to, really. His first experience had predictably been with one of the ‘easy’ girls at his school. He certainly hadn’t been in love with her, nor had he cared about such a notion.

But this was Molly. And Ed cared about her too much to take advantage. ‘I mean it, though. You should do this with someone you love, Molls. Not with me.’

Molly stared at him. For a drunk person she was holding his gaze surprisingly well. Was she drunk? Ed realised Molly was actually fairly sober now.

Molly was feeling exasperated. Enough was enough. Without saying anything, she tore off her t-shirt. Luckily, she was wearing a black bra with pretty scalloped edges. She was hopeful she was wearing the matching knickers, but, whatever. She had started this and she was going through with it regardless of her knicker situation.

Ed sucked his breath in. Her skin was luscious. Golden, smooth. The curve of her waist was exquisite. It flared in and then out again at her hips. He wanted to touch her all over. He wanted to adore every inch of her skin.

Molly swallowed. She was going to be truthful. Because otherwise Ed was never going to agree. ‘Ok. I don’t want you to be my first because you’re experienced. I want you to be my first because I want you – you – to be my first.’

Ed swallowed. Now how the hell was he supposed to defend himself against that ?

‘Kiss me,’ Molly said, taking his face in her hands.

Ed faltered. Resist her, he commanded himself silently. But he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t. He kissed her, luxuriating in her mouth, loving her hands on his face, her body crushed to his. His hands were on her waist. It felt so small. She felt tiny, in fact. She was strong-willed yet fragile in so many ways, and that combination bowled Ed right over.

‘I’ve never wanted someone so much in my life …’ Molly whispered. And she meant it. Her eyes met his. They were seductive yet oddly innocent. ‘You ar e a dirty romantic after all, Edison. You kiss like a romantic. But it’s dirty too. I think that’s just perfect.’

Ed came undone. He pushed Molly against the wall, kissing her with everything he had. His hands were in her hair, his body was crushed hard against hers. She was kissing him back so ardently he could barely catch his breath. He felt consumed by her. And he bloody well loved it.

Ed heard something in the distance – his name. Was that his name? But he ignored it. The way Molly was making him feel, Ed was struggling to make sense of it. He felt her hands on his bare bum again and he groaned, leaning into her. He put his hand on her shoulder, slipped her bra strap to one side. Dropped a kiss where it had been, loving the way Molly squirmed against him.

‘Do. That. Again,’ she said, pulling him closer by the apron. ‘And then I want you naked. I want you naked and all over me.’

‘Are you absolutely certain you haven’t done this before?’ Ed panted, tearing off the apron.

‘I am absolutely certain,’ Molly said slowly. She looked down. ‘Well. I’m a bit speechless.’

‘Can you be a bit speechless?’ Ed asked, chuckling as he slid her other bra strap off her shoulder. ‘Is that a thing? Is that like being a bit pregnant?’ He left a trail of kisses down her neck. ‘Christ, this is not a time to mention pregnancy …’