Josephine Cox - Lovers and Liars

Fearing the trouble that might cause, Emily intervened. ‘It’s not that we aren’t grateful, Danny,’ she started, ‘because we are. It’s just that,’ glancing towards the door, she lowered her voice, ‘it might not be appreciated in other quarters, if you see what I mean.’

‘I understand exactly what you’re saying,’ he answered softly, ‘but where’s the man himself, anyway?’ He’d expected to see Clem somewhere hereabouts. ‘Usually he’s in the field, checking them bulls of his, but there was nary a sign of him this morning.’

Terrified of the two great bulls that Clem had brought to the farm, Aggie confessed, ‘I’d feel a whole lot better if he was to take them back where he got them from. I believe he earns money from ’em but he never discusses the fees he charges for them to cover the cows. It makes my blood run cold to think little Cathleen could wander into that field at any time.’

Emily assured her that would not happen. ‘We always keep well away from there,’ she promised. ‘The very sight of those huge beasts puts the fear of God in me.’

Danny was afraid for them all. ‘Mind you keep well away,’ he cautioned. ‘I’ve seen lesser bulls go on the rampage and leave a trail of destruction in their wake, and them bulls out there are two of the biggest I’ve ever clapped eyes on.’ He shook his head. ‘Out and out killers, that’s what they are. Keep as far away as you can.’ The very thought of any of these three lovely women being hurt was like a knife to his heart.

For a time, they continued to talk about more pleasant things, such as the coming Christmas celebrations. ‘I’m sure Mother wouldn’t mind if you and your father joined us for Christmas dinner?’ Emily couldn’t stand for the two Williamses to be alone on Christmas Day. Danny was an only child, and poor Mr Williams would be facing his first Christmas without his wife.

‘Well, of course I don’t mind!’ Aggie was quick to assure them. ‘In fact, I was about to ask him the very same thing.’ Turning to Danny she said, ‘Do you think you could persuade your father to trust my cooking?’

‘Well, it’s got to be better than mine!’ he joked.

Emily was thrilled. ‘He’ll be company for Grandad too.’ She didn’t voice her more private thoughts, that having Danny here on Christmas Day would be a pleasant thing for them all. ‘Cathleen would be glad to have you here as well,’ she finished lamely.

‘I hope you’ll be pleased too,’ he remarked softly, and when she blushed to the roots of her light brown hair, both Danny and Aggie couldn’t help but notice.

Suddenly, though, Emily’s mind was filled with thoughts of John, and when the emotion became too much, she picked Cathleen up and excused herself. ‘I’ll be outside if you want me,’ she told Aggie.

In a moment she and the child were dressed against the winter cold. In another moment they were gone, and for Danny the room seemed terribly empty.

‘She’s a bit on edge lately,’ Aggie explained. ‘Every day she waits to hear from John, and every day she’s disappointed. It’s been over two years now, and there’s not been a single letter. It meks me hoppin’ mad to see what she’s going through, poor lass.’

Danny couldn’t understand it. ‘All I can say is, he must be mad. To have somebody like Emily waiting for you is every man’s dream.’

‘The child too.’ Aggie knew it had become common knowledge that John was Cathleen’s father. ‘Though, as far as I’m aware, he doesn’t yet know of his daughter’s existence.’

Danny would have given anything for the child to be his. ‘Wouldn’t his Aunt Lizzie have let him know – about the child, I mean?’

Aggie let her thoughts dwell on that for a while. ‘Happen she has. Happen she hasn’t,’ she said at length. ‘As far as I can tell, Lizzie’s not one for the writing. She’s the first to admit she’s a poor scholar, bless her heart.’

‘It all seems a rare mess an’ no mistake,’ Danny said reflectively. ‘She still wants him though, doesn’t she?’ Danny had waited in the wings long enough and lately wanted so much to declare his love for Emily. ‘I mean, she wouldn’t consider anyone else, would she?’

Aggie shrugged. ‘That’s not for me to say. If I were you, I’d be patient a while longer. But don’t give up,’ she advised knowingly. ‘I’ve seen how she smiles more when you’re around.’

‘Do you think so?’ Now it was Danny’s turn to smile. ‘Well, I never!’

When the teapot was empty and the muffins all gone, Danny thanked her. ‘I’ll be off to my work again now,’ he declared, and put his muffler back on.

Emily saw him from the bottom fence; she and little Cathleen had been watching the birds feed on the lard thrown out by Aggie earlier. There had been a clear space under the shelter of the barn-roof where the snow had not yet penetrated. It seemed all the birds in the air had swooped down on that one tiny spot, and were excitedly jostling for the juicy niblets.

‘Danny’s going,’ she said as the child pointed to the birds, her face a wreath of joy at their antics. ‘We’d best go and see him off, eh?’

With Cathleen in her arms, she made her way to the cart. ‘Away now, are you?’ she asked.

‘Wish I didn’t have to,’ he said. ‘I’d be more than content to stay here with you and the bairn, but I’ve got a living to earn.’

‘We’ll see you tomorrow though, won’t we?’ As soon as the words left her lips, Emily felt compelled to shift her meaning. ‘I mean … you will be able to persuade your father to come along, won’t you?’

‘Oh, I see!’ he teased her openly. ‘So you’ll not want me if I have to come along all on my own?’

‘Oh no!’ Now she really was embarrassed. ‘I didn’t mean that, only it would be good for him and Gramps to get together and talk about old times, don’t you think?’

As the child opened her arms to go to Danny, Emily let her loose. In spite of her deeper love for John, it always did her heart good to see the honest love between Danny and her child.

With one strong arm, Danny held Cathleen on the rim of the cart. ‘When you’re bigger and your mammy allows me, I’ll take you off on my rounds – what d’you think to that, eh?’ He laughed out loud when the child gave him a wide, happy grin. ‘Oh, so you’d like that, would you?’

‘I’m sure she would,’ Emily remarked, ‘but that’s a long way off yet, so don’t get her hopes up.’ There were times when she felt she had to curb the growing bond between these two, and other times when she thanked the Good Lord for it.

Lifting the child once more into his arms, and content to let her entwine the strands of his hair round her tiny fingers, he asked Emily in a sincere voice, ‘Do you want to know what I think?’

Momentarily lost in thoughts of John, and how she would explain Cathleen to him, Emily was jolted back to the present. ‘Sorry, Danny,’ she apologised. ‘I was miles away.’

‘I can see that,’ he remarked softly. ‘I was just asking if you wanted to know what I really thought?’ He had no doubt but that she had been ‘miles away’ with John Hanley, but he made no mention of it. Instead he went on, in the same steady voice, ‘Just now you asked what I thought about the two old fellas getting together to talk about past times. And I’m trying to tell you that there are other things on my mind at the minute.’

‘What kind of things?’ She knew that he had special feelings for her. At first it had been a worry, but lately she had come to see him for the true friend he was, and had come to rely on that friendship; every minute he was here, she honestly enjoyed his company.

Right now though, she suspected he was about to try and deepen their friendship into something else – something she wasn’t ready for and probably never would be. Suddenly, she was on the defensive. ‘Please, Danny … not now, eh?’