Josephine Cox - Lovers and Liars

She was right because, little by little, Emily had come to realise that the child, like herself, carried no blame for what had happened. The miracle to Emily was that neither in physical appearance or nature, did Cathleen show any trait of the man who had forced himself on her mother.

Since that dreadful day, and for some reason known only to himself, Clem Jackson had kept his distance. That much at least Emily was grateful for. But if she had hated him before, she now loathed him with a vengeance.

There had been many times during the days and months following the rape when she had yearned for someone to confide in: her mother, her grandfather maybe. Even John, if he’d been here. Deep down though, she knew she could never tell anyone. Clem had threatened all manner of retribution if she so much as mentioned his name in the same breath as the child. And so, fearful of the consequences for her family, Emily had suffered the worst ordeal of her young life, without recourse to the comfort of being able to tell someone the truth of what had really happened.

At the pubs where he drank with his cronies, in his evil way, Clem had spread the word that John Hanley was the one who had got his niece pregnant, and soon it was common knowledge. Emily for her part neither confirmed nor denied it. Instead she kept her own counsel. The time would come when the truth could be told, she promised herself. When John came home, they would put the record straight together. That was what she believed, with all her heart. And yet, after two years and more without word or sight of him, she had no choice but to believe that John had deserted her.

Lizzie Hanley had taken umbrage at the rumours and no longer had any dealings with Potts End. Too proud to beg for news of John, Emily threw herself into her work, and made the child and her family her life.

The hatred and fear of Clem Jackson were always alive in her. But she was ever thankful that there was no sign of his character in little Cathleen; only a strong, brave heart filled with love and the joy of living, and a natural kindness that endeared the tiny girl to all who met her.

Inevitably, Emily grew to love and adore her – as did her grandad and Aggie, who quite naturally believed the child to be John Hanley’s. Never in her wildest nightmares did Aggie suspect that Cathleen’s father was her own brother, Clem. Since the tragic stillbirth of her son, and the disappearance of her husband, Aggie now took life as it came, and refused to overreact to something as natural as pregnancy, within or without a marriage ceremony. Children were gifts from God, to be cherished – that was her view, and she cared nothing for the opinion of others.

‘Danny!’ Cathleen’s small voice swept away Emily’s troublesome thoughts.

‘All right, sweetheart.’ Clutching the child to her, Emily looked out to return Danny’s friendly wave.

The two of them followed his progress up the lane. Because of the recent snowfall, the wheels made no sound on the ground, though the dozen or so milk-churns on the cart rattled and clanged as the horse picked his docile way towards the gate.

When at last both horse and cart came to rest, that great old cob straightaway began pawing the ground with his hoof. The smell of hay from the back made his stomach rumble. ‘Behave yourself now!’ Danny leaped down, his boots skidding in the soft snow. ‘Hang on, me ol’ darlin’,’ he told the horse. ‘You’ll get your breakfast, never fear.’

Unhooking a haybag from beneath the cart, he strapped it round the horse’s ears, whereupon that great gentle animal dipped his nose into the bag and began contentedly munching. He had earned his breakfast and meant to enjoy it.

By the time Danny tapped on the back door, Aggie was ready with a fresh brew of strong tea, and a plate full of home-made muffins. ‘The tea’s mashed!’ she said, beckoning him to the kitchen table. ‘Get that hot tea down you, son,’ she urged Danny as they all took their places. ‘By! You look frozen to the bone.’

‘Nay, I’m used to it,’ Danny assured her. ‘Mind you, it feels like there’s a bad night in the making. I noticed the hedges are beginning to stiffen with cold. Come dark there’ll be ice on the lanes, you can count on it.’

Aggie chided him, ‘And there’s you with only a thin jacket and muffler to keep out the cold. It’s time you got yourself a warm overcoat, my boy!’

‘Ever since Africa, I can’t stand to be smothered,’ came Danny’s reply. ‘As long as I keep working, I’ll be fine, so I will.’

Holding out his arms, he spoke to the child. ‘Is there a cuddle and a kiss to go with my tea and muffins?’ His gaze fell on Emily. In his heart it was her he wanted; her and the child both, for he had come to love them dearly these past months.

Releasing the child, Emily watched her go to him. She saw the affection in his kind grey eyes, and the way his ready smile enveloped Cathleen as they cuddled close. ‘Now this was worth waiting for,’ he joked. ‘Tea, muffins, and a pretty girl’s arms round my neck – what more could a man ask for?’ Again, his gaze fell on Emily, and knowing what was on his mind, she looked away.

Lately there had been warm stirrings in her heart for him and, for so many reasons, this frightened her.

For the next twenty minutes or so, they chatted about this and that: Danny told them how glad he was to be back in Salmesbury, and how he had never been certain he would enjoy the milk-round, but that now he was loving every minute. ‘We’ve got plenty of customers and they’re all a pleasure to serve. Besides, I reckon I’m privileged to be working in these beautiful surroundings. You get to appreciate your home patch, when you’ve been overseas for so long.’

Aggie had often wondered and she asked him now: ‘How does your father feel about you taking over the reins, so to speak?’

Danny laughed. ‘Oh, it’s still Father who holds the reins, I can assure you of that! There are days when I can’t do a single thing right. He’s always one step behind me – “do this, do that” … I never seem to please the old bugger.’ He chuckled. ‘All the same, he’s one of the best. They broke the mould when they made Bobby Williams.’

The love he had for his father was evident in the manner in which he referred to him, and the joy in his face whenever he mentioned his name.

Aggie spoke candidly about work on the farm. ‘It seems to get harder with every passing year,’ she groaned. ‘We can’t afford any hired help at the moment, and what with Dad’s rheumatism, and Emily having to tend the bairn, we can’t seem to keep on top of everything.’ She gave her daughter a warm smile. ‘Mind you, my Emily works every minute she can, bless her heart, and she never complains. In fact, I don’t know what I’d do without her.’

‘It’s easier at this time of year, though – no crops or harvest to gather in?’ Danny knew all about the countryside and farming.

Aggie had to agree, but, ‘Winter is easier, yes. But as you well know, there are always things to do in preparation for the coming spring … animals to be tended and repairs done – as well as other jobs that need seeing to afore the season changes.’

Emily had her own opinions about that, and she aired them with a frown. ‘If certain people didn’t clear off whenever the fancy took them, there would be three pairs of hands to the pump, instead of two!’ They all knew who she was referring to.

‘If you ask me, the place is much happier when he’s not around anyway!’ Aggie put in. She had come to hate her brother with a passion that shamed her. Potts End Farm hadn’t been the same since his arrival. A shadow hung over them all.

Not for the first time, Danny offered his help. ‘I’m sure I can spare an hour or two each day to give you a hand,’ he volunteered. ‘I could take the weight off both your shoulders, if only you’d let me.’