Catherine Ferguson - Four Weddings and a Fiasco

‘The light’s great from out here,’ he has the nerve to point out.

I smile stiffly and check out his camera.

Expensive.

He’s obviously one of those amateurs who thinks buying the best equipment will make him an expert in no time.

I take a few more shots of them signing the register, then walk to the back of the room in order to take the all-important shots of Ron and Andrea walking back down the aisle together.

Mallory sidles up and says, ‘What’s up?’

My frown deepens. ‘ Him .’

She grins. ‘But all he’s done is take a few photographs. In common with about ninety-nine per cent of the other guests in the room.’

‘Yes, but how come he gets the shot I wanted?’ I snap. ‘I hate bloody amateur photographers at weddings!’

She gives me a puzzled look and I know what she’s thinking. Normally I’m fairly gracious and understanding of happy snappers at weddings. It’s just most of them don’t rub me up the wrong way like Runner Man.

I move to the centre of the aisle, ready for the perfect shot. And Runner Man finally stops flirting with the manager, making her giggle like a silly schoolgirl, and goes back to his seat.

Who is he anyway? Probably a friend of Ron’s. This often happens. The bride and groom start to worry the professional photographer might cock it up, so they appoint a friend or relative to take back-up photos. Just in case.

Andrea and Ron are walking happily back down the aisle towards me.

And then – oh, here we go! – Runner Man is back on his feet, snapping away, totally blocking my view.

Probably sensing my daggers look, he turns a brief apologetic glance my way. And I might have forgiven him had it not been for The Hand

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