Richard Webber - The Complete A–Z of Everything Carry On

After moving to Britain as a child, Allen, who’s also a busy stage actor, was evacuated to Canada during World War Two, and after studying at Montreal’s McGill University worked as a local radio presenter and, subsequently, appeared on television. In 1947 he returned to the UK and was cast in The Survivors , a series of plays for the BBC.

His first film credit, Hitchcock’s Dial M for Murder , was the start of a busy big-screen career, which includes The Long Haul, Dunkirk, I Was Monty’s Double, Night of the Big Heat, Diamonds on Wheels, The Wild Geese, Who Dares Wins and, more recently, RPM. On television he’s appeared in numerous shows, including The Return of Sherlock Holmes, Bergerac, The Protectors, The Troubleshooters and The Champions, but his biggest role was playing Richard Crane in the 1960s series, Crane.

ALLISON, BART

Roles: Grandad in Doctor and Grandpa Grubb in Loving

Bart Allison, born in Birmingham in 1892, always wanted to act and spent his early career working in variety and the theatre. He also made occasional screen appearances from the late 1940s, with film credits including The End of the Affair ; Smashing Time; Steptoe and Son; No Sex Please, We’re British and The Ritz.

His television work, meanwhile, included appearances in shows such as Dixon of Dock Green, Hadleigh, Angels and The Sweeney.

He died in 1978, aged eighty-six.

AMAZON GUARDS

Played by Audrey Wilson, Vicky Smith, Jane Lumb, Marian Collins, Sally Douglas, Christine Rodgers and Maya Koumani

Clad in black cat-suits, the guards work in S.T.E.N.C.H.’s headquarters and are seen charging around in Spying.

AMBULANCE DRIVER

Played by Brian Osborne

The Ambulance Driver is seen in Matron outside the Finisham Maternity Hospital. An emergency call has been received to go and pick up Jane Darling, a film actress, who’s likely to give birth any minute. A shortage of staff to hand finds Dr Prodd and Nurse Carter – who’s actually Cyril Carter – roped in to help with the job.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS (1st and 2nd)

Played by Anthony Sagar and Fred Griffiths

The ambulance drivers who ferry appendicitis-stricken journalist Ted York to the Haven Hospital in Nurse. As it transpires, their mad dash to the hospital is motivated more by wanting to catch the horse racing than delivering a sick man.

ANAESTHETIST

Played by John Horsley

When Ted York is wheeled in on a trolley ready for his operation in Nurse , the anaethetist is waiting with an enormous hypodermic. (Note: although Horsley’s name appeared in the credits, the scene was cut.)

When Ted York has his operation he drifts off into a dream world.

CLOSE SHOT TED

Flat on his back on moving trolley – but not quite flat out. He’s still resisting the complete surrender of himself. Trolley goes in doors to:

INT. ANAESTHETIC ROOM – DAY

Ted’s wheeled in beside the usual impressive equipment. He does his best to keep his eyes open. Anaesthetist is all ready. He approaches Ted.

ANAESTHETIST: (Friendly, grinning.)You look so wide awake …

(He injects TED, with the enormous hypo.)

ANAESTHETIST: … I doubt if this is going to work …

(TED grins back – an uncontrolled parody of a confident grin.)

TED’S EYELINE

(ANAESTHETIST blurs, spins and disappears.)

RIPPLE DISSOLVE

INT. TED’S MIND. ANAESTHESIA

Evidently Ted’s a good reporter who concentrates on essentials even in his subconscious – for the f.g. of this sequence is all-important and there’s no set worth speaking of, just a dark b.g. Equally evident, Ted is a regular reader of Esquire, for Georgie shimmies on to the screen in idealised, scant and diaphanous harem costume. Music is sinuous in accompaniment. After a self-appreciative wiggle or so on the part of Georgie, a millionaire, young, handsome and in full evening-dress, approaches her, beseechingly offering a diamond necklace, glittering in its velvet-lined case: she repulses him: sadly closing the case, he leaves. A turbaned Maharajah now approaches her, juggling with diamonds as big as potatoes: she scarcely notices the dazzlement thus created: repulses him: tearfully, he departs. A husky sunburnt prospector, magnificent in shorts and sunhat, hauls a small truck to her: it is chockful of diamonds: she hardly looks at the blinding-brilliant display, or at him: his jaw-muscles twitching in manly disappointment, he trudges off, hauling the truck behind him. Holding on to the back of the truck, like a kid scrounging a ride on a water-cart, is Ted, ludicrous in his operating-gown. He jumps off, and, apparently unaware of Georgie’s presence, flexes his muscles in modest self-appreciation. Georgie clasps her hands together in delight and her expression is that of a girl who has at last Mr Right-ed herself. She strolls past him, shedding a veil. Courteously, Ted retrieves it, offers it to her. As she takes it, he kisses her hand. Chews his way, with mounting passion, up her arm. Folds her in an embrace. She’s more than cooperative. Music cuts. A whip-crack O.S. Both turn. Sister’s there, dressed in jodhpurs and roll-neck sweater. She cracks the whip again: Georgie, immediately redressed as a nurse, disentangles herself from Ted. An injections-trolley rolls towards Georgie. She grabs it and trundles it away, super-efficiently. Whip-crack. A bed rolls towards Ted. He scampers into it. Sister nods grimly, folds the whip, goes off eagle-eyed to look for more criminals.

CLOSE SHOT TED (Within dream.)

In bed, lying on his side, one eye open. Whip-crack O.S. He snaps the eye shut.

DISSOLVE

INT. WARD. NIGHT

CLOSE SHOT TED, lying on his back, eyes closed. Real background: the dream is over: he’s about to emerge from the anaesthetic. His eyes flicker.

TED: (Faint)Beer …

(His eyes open.)

TED’S EYELINE

From his corner-bed, a night-view of the ward achieves focus after a shaky start. Six beds on the opposite side of the ward, each containing a slumbering patient. Snores are thunderous in a male ward: they can provide the background for the following.

INT. WARD. NIGHT

Ted resumed.

TED: (Louder)Lager…

He licks his lips.)

TED: (Normal tone)Iced lager … Hey, Ethel! How about some service…?

(He blinks, and licks his lips again.)

TED: ( Good and loud) How long’ve I gotta wait for service? I’m a good customer Ethel! Hey – (Loudest)– ETHEL! …

(Frances James, young, slim and attractive night-nurse (qualified) appears at his bedside, a firm and confident ministering angel – to begin with. He turns his head to her. Though he can now talk, he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about yet – or, at least, the normal defences and compromises of ordinary conversation are not in operation. His voice is strident. His ideas are uninhibited and directly expressed throughout.)

TED: ’Bout time … Hey – you’re not Ethel …

FRANCES: Relax now, Mr York.

TED: (Truculent)Where’s Ethel?

FRANCES: Fast asleep I hope – same as you should be.

TED: You know Ethel?

FRANCES: I think I know the one you mean. Barmaid at the Greyhound.