Nigel Slater - Eating for England - The Delights and Eccentricities of the British at Table

Eating for England

The Delights and Eccentricities of the British at Table

Nigel Slater

Fourth Estate

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by Fourth Estate in 2007

Copyright © Nigel Slater 2007

Nigel Slater asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

Some Photographs were unavailable for the electronic edition.

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Source ISBN: 9780007199471

Ebook Edition © FEBRUARY 2012 ISBN: 9780007370047

Version: 2016-09-22

For D and P and in memory of M

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Preface

In a Stew

Harvest Festival

The Lunchbox

Toblerone

The Kitchen Fusspot

Black Pudding

Cake Forks and Sticky Fingers

Shopping on the Internet – Couch Potatoes

The Biscuit Tin

The Digestive

Bread and Butter Pudding

Eating Soldiers

Lunch on a Bench

Combating that Sinking Feeling

The Coffee Percolator

Faggots and Gravy

The Naked Cook

Murray Mints

The Farmers’ Market – An Allotment for Wimps

Rhubarb and Custard

Fruit and Nut

The Setting of Jam

Oxo Cubes

Feeding the Elderly

Custard

A Custard

The Economical Cook

The Voucher Queen

A Cake Walk through Britain

The Gingerbread Wars

Shopping for Meat

Toast – The Story of a Nation’s Hunger

Frogspawn and Nosebleeds

Stirring Jam into Your Rice Pudding – Or Not

The Nut Cutlet

A Child in the Restaurant – 1964

Toffees

The Midnight Feast

Jacob’s Club

Rubbernecking – The Lost Art of Celebrity-Spotting

The Wind in Your Face, a Fish in Your Bag

Summer Cooking

The Jaffa Cake

The Village Shop – The Font of All Knowledge and Fairy Soap

Tripe and Onions

Aga Toast

The Chocolate Digestive

The Rich Tea

Fudge

Ribena

Filling Your Bag

Old English Spangles

Fry’s Five Centres

Making Coffee

Breakfast

The Chocolate Bar – A Curiously British Obsession

‘My Name is Carol and I am a Chocoholic’

Your Life in Your Hands

Chopsticks at Dawn

Heinz Tomato Ketchup

Kia Ora

Tipping, as Only the Brits Know How

Jelly Babies

This Little Piggy

The Tight-Arse Cook

Washing Up

Mashed Swede

Ginger Cake

Cream Sponge

Eating in the Street – ‘I’ll Have That with Wings’

Throwing a Coffee Morning

The Cadbury’s Flake

A Teenager at the Table

Scones and the Sultana Problem

Bourbon Biscuits

Dairylea

Custard Creams

Modern Shopping

The Ritual of the KitKat

The Slightly Grubby Wholemeal Cook

Cyril’s Stew

Dripping – The Heart and Soul

A Taste of the Future

Floral Gums

Sherbet Lemons

Fray Bentos Steak-and-Kidney Pie

Eating Outdoors

Eating Pomegranates with a Pin

Mint Cracknel

Winter Food

The Jammie Dodger

Liquorice Sticks

Liquorice Wood

The Chocolate Finger and That One with the Hole In

A Good Roasting

Boiled Brussels Sprouts

Pontefract Cakes

Bath Chaps

Fancy Toast

White Food

Golden Mint Humbugs

Lardy Cake

The Expense Account Lunch

The Suburban Day Out Lunch

Quality Street

Branston Pickle

Paying the Price

A Third-Generation Fishmonger

The Work of Pixies

Gravy

The Extravagant Cook

That Old Black Magic

Brawn and Mustard

Trifle – A Social Indicator

The Best Biscuit of All?

Chocolate Limes

Sharing the Bill – The Weasel at the Table

Sweetness and Light

Scones on Harris

PG Tips

Robertson’s Golden Shred

The Specialist Shop

The Case for Clicks not Bricks

Frying Tonight

The Taste of the New

The Grow-Your-Own Cook

Pre-Jamie Man

Post-Jamie Man

If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Scratchings

Chocolate Éclairs

The Sweet Shop

The Berni Inn

Lunch

Crumpets, Pikelets, Muffins and Their Purpose

The Death of the Chocolate Cake

The Corner Shop – Our Little Life-Saver

Carving

Haggis, Tatties and Neeps

Gilding the Lily

Cake and Cheese

Everton Mints

Welsh Rarebit

Junket – The Clue is in the Name

Tunnock’s Teacakes

Poaching

The Cookery Hen

The Oh-I-Never-Measure-Anything Cook

How to Dress a Scone

Bisto

Colman’s Mustard

A Day at the Market

The British Lunch Out of Doors Then

The British Lunch Outdoors Now

A Litmus Test

The Victoria Sandwich

Gibbs After-Dinner Mints

The After Eight Mint

The Glorious British Chocolate Bar

Rest in Peace

The Supermarket Fish Shame

The Greengrocer – A Local Hero

A Nation of Old Boilers

Hotel Toast

Dick and Other Delights

Dead Man’s Leg

The Glue Factor

The Gingernut

Pear Drops

Acid Drops

Aniseed Balls

Butterscotch

A Drop or Two of Sauce

Midget Gems

Winter Teas – The Crumpet Season

A Muffin Worry

How to Open an English Muffin

A Log Fire Tea – Some Suggestions

Cupcakes at the Hummingbird

High Tea

The Packed Lunch

Werther’s Originals

The Polo Mint

Camp Coffee

Robinson’s Barley Water

Out of a Net and onto the Net

Marmite

The Organic Box

The Neat and Tidy Cook

The Cool, Modern Shopper Cook

‘Hands that Do Dishes’

Things Move On

The Death of the Cheese Board

Thick Toast

Best Friends

Treacle Tart

Coconut Ice

The Cream Cracker

Barley Sugars

Nut Toffee

Brown Sauce

Eating with the Wasps

A Summer Tea – A Few Polite Suggestions

Seaside Rock

A National Hero

Sarson’s Vinegar

The Pink Wafer

Keep Reading

About the Author

From the reviews of Eating for England

Also by Nigel Slater

About the Publisher

New York, late autumn, and I have just taken the short walk from Central Park to Carnegie Hall, where I am being interviewed for a radio show. It’s a bright, invigoratingly breezy day and I’m feeling confident. I know what I am to be interviewed about, and am pretty sure of my ground and even remain unfazed when, at the last minute, I find that the interview is going out live. As I say, I know my ground. And then comes the question, the one I wasn’t prepared for, the one where I am asked to describe British food to the listeners.