Chris Eubank - Chris Eubank - The Autobiography

After my mother left, our circumstances were naturally affected for the worse. Our behaviour became increasingly delinquent, but that was entirely of our own accord, it was not Dad’s fault. I vividly recall one council flat we lived in during 1975, in the middle of the Haggerston slums. We had no heating and no furniture. Not a stick. Father somehow managed to salvage enough money from his measly wages to ensure there were always eggs and bread on the top of the fridge, even if there was little else inside. He would give us 50p each to get some fish and chips, as he was often on shifts and couldn’t cook for us. Most of the time we ate egg sandwiches. People talk about hardship – my father had to bring up four boisterous kids on that £90 a week. He was dutiful, which is one of the traits of a good man. He provided as best he could for his family.

The relationships with my three brothers have proved to be of pivotal importance in my life. The central issue that has been a constant feature of my life is acceptance. I seek acceptance in so many ways, from so many people. This is something that has been ever-present for me and I have thought about it at great length. They say that many people spend their adult lives trying to work out their childhood. Well, I have mine worked out. I know why acceptance is such a force for me. It is because of the way I was treated as a child by my brothers, David, Simon and Peter.

I was the youngest, although there were only four years between all of us. I was always keen to be around them, I always wanted to go where they were going, I desperately wanted to get into trouble like they did, smoke the same cigarettes, steal the same sweets. I wanted to be accepted by them and be with them.

However, this was never the case. In fact, far from accepting me, my brothers openly and constantly denigrated me. They used to call me a c**t; one of them didn’t even talk to me, he said I was too ugly to be his brother. I was always the belittled younger sibling. It was the most inequitable of relationships, because I adored them.

When I was in my early teens, I would sometimes suggest they might have done certain things differently. They would scoff, saying, ‘Shut up, you’re silly, you are only a fool.’ And they were always telling me how to do things, that what I was planning was wrong or how I had reacted to a circumstance was stupid.

I used to fight all the time with David, but I only won once during all those years. That day, he had cornered me and was hitting my arm very hard, when I suddenly turned and smacked him one. I bloodied his nose so he went and told my father who chastised me! Every other fight with David I lost. Sometimes, the television set would get broken because we used to fight over which channel was showing.

Peter never used to hit me, he just dismissed me verbally which was actually more damaging in the long run. Simon was a very hard puncher, which I found out when he knocked me flat in a playground in Peckham when I was only 12. So I kept out of his way and only had a couple of fights with him.

I started to realise that nothing I said would get through to them. Even so, I still wanted their acceptance because I loved them. That became the key issue in my life as I grew up to be a man. In many ways, it was a very positive force, because I had to prove myself to the world, specifically in regards to the business of boxing. However, in the back of my mind, my blossoming career as a pugilist became a way of proving myself specifically to them also. Cheekily, after I had made champion, David once said to me, ‘You should be grateful for all those beatings we gave you; it has made you world champ.’ He said I owed him. That is the way they were, that is what I have had to put up with.

They were harsh on me, but actually I realised they were also harsh on themselves. Later, as an adult, I still loved them but no longer needed their acceptance. However, this background has obviously had a deep effect on me. I find myself looking for acceptance as an adult, even though professionally I was world champion and personally I contribute, I am kind, I teach by example and I help people. However, the omnipresent desire to be accepted was deeply ingrained in me from my childhood and would indelibly colour the course of both my career and my life.

My primary education was at Northwold Infants School in Stoke Newington. Other children didn’t play with me. I was told this was because I was too rough, but I didn’t have a problem with that. I was never a kid who played with toys and games, not least because we couldn’t afford any. I never liked that, I was more into stealing crisps and sweets.

I was sometimes bullied because of my broad nose. They used to call me Hoover and Shotgun Nose. It used to bother me and I would wish for a slimmer nose. Now, as a man, I like it, it’s a beautiful African nose and the only one I have. It also works very well. My feet are like dragon’s claws, but they are the only two I have. I have a gap in my teeth but that is just me. As for the nose, it is actually a superb shape, it has made me a great deal of money. Why? Because when you hit my nose, it simply goes flat rather than breaking.

We moved to south London when I was 11 and went to Bellenden Junior School before moving on to Thomas Carlton Secondary. Unfortunately, by now, I had a somewhat boisterous reputation and was suspended 18 times in one school year for misbehaviour. I used to get into fights all the time over marbles. If it wasn’t marbles, it was protecting smaller kids from bullies. As a kid, I watched movies like The Three Musketeers. I still love watching films. Back then, I wanted to be just like the characters I saw on the big screen. Take D’Artagnan – I was going to grow up to be that guy, swinging into battle from a chandelier, taking on and beating anybody while still being utterly chivalrous and stylish. I modelled myself on characters like that. That is one of the reasons I got suspended from school so many times, going to the aid of bullied kids. I was a loner and drew little influence from my peer group, instead looking towards those sort of movies for my inspiration.

Occasionally, however, it was my short fuse that caused the problem – when you don’t know how to express yourself, your feelings manifest themselves in a fashion that is immature and angry. One time, for example, I said to this kid, ‘You are chewing your gum too loud,’ and that was that – bang ! I dropped him. My build was only average but I was always ‘extra’ – namely I was a showman. I have never been a show-off, that is a negative word. My intention was always (and still is) to be a showman, to entertain.

I wasn’t powerful so I lost as many fights as I won, but I was righteous. I fought at least three days a week with bullies and at least four days a week with my brothers. I then moved to Peckham Manor Secondary School, where such behaviour continued and I was expelled after only one month.

When I was 13, I grew dreadlocks and became a rasta. I smoked a lot of weed too. I eventually cut the locks off, because my father stopped talking to me. He was a Jamaican who wasn’t into the rasta lifestyle, so he was very disapproving. However, he loved Bob Marley. The album Exodus was on my Dad’s record player all the time. I think at one point it was the only record he actually had. Despite being on constant rotation, I never tired of hearing that album, it was my homely feel cut into vinyl. Still today, whenever I hear the record, it brings back floods of memories. Marley was a great musician, and that style of music is in my soul. He has also been a great motivator for me – his words are all about strength of character, rectitude, correctness, righteousness: being an earth man.

Back then, I had so much energy. However, I did not always do the correct thing, I still had a lot to learn. This energy carried over into my behaviour outside of school as well. If someone wanted to steal some sweets, I was always the first in the queue. And, I didn’t just take a single Mars bar, I would grab five. I would take the task in hand and do it.