Louise Rennison - ‘… and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’

First published in Great Britain in hardback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2004 First published in Great Britain in paperback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2005

HarperCollins Children’s Books A division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Find out more about Georgia at www.georgianicolson.com

Copyright © Louise Rennison 2004

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

Source ISBN: 9780007183203

Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007402731

Version: 2015-01-27

A Note from Georgia

Dear Chumettes,

Bonsoir!!! I am writing to you from my “imagination den” (or my bed as some people call it), just to say how much I hope you like “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” Interestingly, the Hamburger-a-gogo types (who I suspect may be a button short of a cardigan) called my book “Away Laughing on a Fast Camel”. They said that “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” sounds too rude.

They are indeed weird, but what you have to take into account is that they don’t really speak English as such. For instance “fag” only means homosexualist in their land. It doesn’t mean cigarette. So when I wrote that “Alison Bummer lit up a fag”, they said they thought that was “kind of cruel” because they thought she was setting fire to a gay person. I think that illustrates what I am up against.

Anyway, my little chums, I have spent many happy minutes… er… hours writing this and there were a lot of other things I could have been doing, believe me. Juan and Carlos - my imaginary maidservants - could have spent time amusing me, but I said (in my mind), “No, Juan and Carlos! Put down your guitars! Stop plucking! I must write another book for my lovely fans.”

That is how much I love you all.

A LOT.

I do.

I am not exaggerating.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

Georgia, XXXXXXX

p.s. But I am not on the turn.

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Copyright Copyright Dedication Alone, all aloney, on my owney Son of Angus, otherwise known as Cross-eyed Gordy Snog factor 25 and a half “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” Once more into the oven of love Keep Reading Georgia’s Glossary ‘…then he ate my boy entrancers.’ Sample Chapter The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series About the Publisher First published in Great Britain in hardback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2004 First published in Great Britain in paperback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2005 HarperCollins Children’s Books A division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk Find out more about Georgia at www.georgianicolson.com Copyright © Louise Rennison 2004 The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication. Source ISBN: 9780007183203 Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007402731 Version: 2015-01-27

Dedication A Note from Georgia Dear Chumettes, Bonsoir!!! I am writing to you from my “imagination den” (or my bed as some people call it), just to say how much I hope you like “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” Interestingly, the Hamburger-a-gogo types (who I suspect may be a button short of a cardigan) called my book “Away Laughing on a Fast Camel”. They said that “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” sounds too rude. They are indeed weird, but what you have to take into account is that they don’t really speak English as such. For instance “fag” only means homosexualist in their land. It doesn’t mean cigarette. So when I wrote that “Alison Bummer lit up a fag”, they said they thought that was “kind of cruel” because they thought she was setting fire to a gay person. I think that illustrates what I am up against. Anyway, my little chums, I have spent many happy minutes… er… hours writing this and there were a lot of other things I could have been doing, believe me. Juan and Carlos - my imaginary maidservants - could have spent time amusing me, but I said (in my mind), “No, Juan and Carlos! Put down your guitars! Stop plucking! I must write another book for my lovely fans.” That is how much I love you all. A LOT. I do. I am not exaggerating. I LOVE YOU ALL. Georgia, XXXXXXX p.s. But I am not on the turn.

Alone, all aloney, on my owney Alone, all aloney, on my owney Saturday March 5th 11:00 a.m. as the crow flies Grey skies, grey cluds, grey knickers. I can’t believe my knickers are grey, but it is typico of my life. My mutti put my white lacy knickers in the wash with Vati’s voluminous black shorts and now they are grey. If there was a medal for craposity in the mutti department, she would win it hands down. I am once again wandering lonely as a clud through this Vale of Tears. I wish there was someone I could duff up but I have no one to blame. Except God, and although He is everywhere at once, He is also invisible. (Also, the last person who tried to duff God up was Satan, and he ended up standing on his head in poo with hot swords up his bum-oley.)

Son of Angus, otherwise known as Cross-eyed Gordy Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.