Peter Lerangis - The Key

We set off shortly after dawn. Osman was the only one wide awake. He sang a horrible little song called the “Hunt for the Ring of Asparagus” to the tune of “Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier.” I thought Gencer would clock him over the head. I (almost) wouldn’t have minded.

We were trudging up a hill to find the ruined tomb where the ring was supposed to be hidden. Gencer was huffing and puffing, a cigar dangling from his lip. (Father buys the cigars, of course, even though Gencer is the only one who smokes them.) “So when that wretched animal finds the ring,” Gencer grumbled, watching Safi relieve herself in the middle of the trail, “then what? Maybe we can use our profits to invest in an oracular animal of our very own! Maybe, say, a three-legged goat who will eat its way to the Holy Grail?” He blew our way a puff of cigar smoke that smelled like someone had replaced the tobacco with manure.

“Have a little faith, my wise and wizened incompetent,” Father said.

Gencer looked momentarily confused (as he usually does when Father uses words of two syllables or more), then quickly regained his sarcasm. “You know, Khalid,” he finally said, “there was a time when you had a knack for finding a little something here and there, but this ferret business makes me think you’re just grasping at straws.”

“Ah,” Father replied. “And you, of course, have a better idea. Like your splendid scheme to pose as a statue by painting yourself silver, thereby suffocating yourself in public—”

“I was younger then!” Gencer snapped, wincing at the memory. “I do have an idea, you know. And it’s far better than this elongated rat—”

Safi let out an angry-sounding chitter, as if she’d understood. Father cut Gencer off with a wave of his hand. We watched as Safi sniffed the air. Tail twitching, she disappeared into the side of the mountain.

“You see, my disgruntled simian friend, she’s caught the scent!” Father looked triumphantly at Gencer.

“Looks to me like she’s running away,” he grunted. Then quietly he turned toward Osman and me. “What does simian mean?”

“Apelike,” I said.

“It’s a compliment,” Osman lied.

Before Gencer could formulate a reply, Safi emerged from a dark, narrow gap in the rocks—with a little brown vole twitching between her teeth. I winced and turned away.

Gencer let out a bellowing laugh. “Well, look at that! She found a ferret restaurant! Ha! Some treasure hunter!”

Safi turned and dropped the vole at Gencer’s feet. The old slob screamed like a baby, dropping the half-smoked, saliva-soaked cigar to the ground. “Khalid, you owe me a fresh cigar!”

But Osman and I were eyeing the gap Safi had found. It was just about as wide as Osman was, and maybe a foot high.

“Wow,” Osman said—and just like that, he slipped inside, vanishing into the blackness.

“Osman!” Father shouted. “Get back here at once!”

“What do you think you’re doing?” I added, grabbing Father’s flashlight. I peered into the opening, gauging whether I could fit in myself. I could make out a wide, low cave, cool as death.

But no Osman.

“Like father, like son,” Gencer muttered, with a superior little chortle. “No common sense.”

Father wheeled on his friend, grabbing him by the collar. But as he pulled Gencer toward him, a muffled scream came up from the opening.

Osman.

My heart jumped into my mouth. We all screamed his name now, even Gencer. “I’m going in,” I said.

“No,” Father replied, grabbing my arm.

I knew he wanted to go in himself, but there was no way he’d fit. I squeezed my head into the gap … then my shoulders …

Fingers closed around my upper arm. I lurched back, squashing my head into the top of the gap. “Father!”

“BWAH-HA-HA-HA!” cackled a voice.

A shrill, little-boy voice.

I blinked my eyes, fighting back pain. And anger. “Osman, you little creep, that wasn’t funny!”

Luckily I had enough presence of mind to yank him out of the opening. He tumbled to the ground, giggling hysterically.

That was when I saw Gencer, flat on his back. He had fainted at the sound of the scream. Judging from Safi’s angry scolding noises, he had also landed directly on top of the now-dead vole.

I wanted to strangle Osman for scaring me. Father’s eyes were bulging in anger. But I knew both of us felt too much relief, too much joy at the fact that Osman was alive.

Diary, he gets away with murder. Really.

Of course Osman ignored our scolding. His eyes dancing, he grabbed the flashlight and swung the beam inside, illuminating the small cave. “Look at this, Baba !” he said. “Don’t be mad—just look! Some ferret restaurant!”

At that, Gencer stirred. When he saw Safi perched angrily on his chest, he jumped to his feet. None of us paid much attention to his bloodcurdling scream when he realized he’d passed out on a dead vole.

Father, Osman, and I were busy peering inside the gap. It led to a cavernous room, the walls smooth and dry, the floor only a short drop from the opening.

For once, I thought, we might be on to something.

Osman and I looked at Father. He thought a moment, then nodded tentatively. I gave him my most confident look. “You always told us, Baba , the biggest part of Bartevyan is Brave …”

“And the biggest part of Gencer,” Osman added, glancing toward Father’s sidekick, who now looked sick to his stomach, “is Green.”

Father smiled for the first time all morning. Quickly Osman and I slipped through the opening and dropped to the floor. The air inside was cool and delicious after the long hike. Thousands of tiny glints in the walls shone in Osman’s flashlight beam. He pointed the light toward the back of the room, toward a passage that led deeper into the mountain.

As we walked, a thick silence fell over us like a fog. As smooth as the walls of the cave were, the rock along the passageway was rough, covered with herky-jerky gashes and cracks. At the far end, Osman and I reached another opening, this one as small as the gap we’d slipped through. It led into solid blackness.

“Father! There’s a hidden tunnel down here!” Osman crowed, his voice echoing along the walls.

From high above, Father whooped loud enough for us to hear. “God lord, Safi did it! She led us to our starting point. You’ll be safe down there?”

I saw Father shudder as a rope-like shape leaped onto the floor.

Safi.

“Our fearless leader is here,” I said. “We’re in good paws.”

Father tossed down another flashlight, which I caught. “We’ll be waiting on the other side,” he said. “We’ll see you when you come out with the treasure!”

He was trying to sound trusting and confident. But he didn’t fool me.

Wednesday, 11:37 P.M.

SORRY, HAD TOsettle an argument over who drank Gencer’s raki. The answer was Safi. She is, as you can imagine, fast asleep. Okay, where was I?

Right. This morning in the tunnel.

So I scampered ahead of Osman, swinging my flashlight from side to side. I ducked my head to avoid stalactites; the uneven walls scraped my elbows.

Being shorter, Osman should have had an easier time, but he fell behind, screaming in his bravest Bartevyan voice, “Hey, wait up!”

Safi peeked her head out of my jacket. “It’s okay, Safi,” I said. “We’ll slow down. My little brother is investigating secret codes in the walls. Or maybe he’s just afraid.”

“Little brother?” echoed Osman’s voice. “In case you missed that day in biology, twins means born at the same time.”

“In case you missed that day in common sense, that is physically impossible,” I replied. “I was born ten minutes earlier.”