Jeanne Willis - Penguin Pandemonium - Christmas Crackers

“He’s here!” hollered Ursie. “Let’s show him our stockings – we might be in luck.”

“I don’t wear stockings,” growled Orson. “Keep your voice down.”

The penguins rushed over to the grille.

“Look at the reindeer,” remarked Clive.

“Rain, dear?” repeated Eddie. “I thought it was snow. Ursie, can I borrow your brolly?”

There was a long queue of children leading up to the grotto and, as Santa parked himself in a rocking chair, the first little girl went over and sat on his lap.

“And what would you like for Christmas, young lady?” he asked.

“A giraffe, please.”

Santa gave a small groan, fished about in his sack and gave her a thin, square parcel.

“It looks a bit flat for a giraffe, doesn’t it, Clive?” mumbled Eddie.

“That’s because it’s a colouring book,” said Clive, who was more interested in the elves. “Who are those little green dudes in the funny hats and curly shoes?”

Brenda looked it up in her leaflet about Christmas at City Zoo .

“They’re Santa’s little—”

“Aliens!” shouted Orson.

“Helpers!” said Brenda.

Ursie was confused.

“Santa’s little alien helpers? That’s just weird.”

“That’s Christmas for you,” said Orson.

But while everyone else was getting into the festive spirit, Muriel was getting angrier by the minute.

“Oh my cod!” she wailed. “Why is he giving those naughty kids presents and not us? Brenda, get a pencil and write a letter to Santa for me! OK, I want: bubble bath, leg warmers, pink fluffy mules …”

“Eek – got no pencil!” said Brenda anxiously.

“Um – got no paper,” said Hatty.

Rory grabbed his snowboard. “Muriel, you’re a penguin. Penguins don’t get presents, remember?” he said. “Come on, Blue, let’s show the visitors our crazy moves.”

Blue hesitated for a moment, mesmerised by the tinsel on the Christmas tree, then she went off with Rory and the rockhoppers to entertain the crowds with their daring stunts.

Having warmed up with a few beak-bonks against the enclosure wall and some impressive rodeo-flips off the diving board, Rory gathered his crew together.

“We’ve got a nice big audience,” he said, flipping his board with one foot. “Let’s wow them with a new twist on the tail-wheelie.”

“Like what?” said Clive.

“Like whoa!” said Eddie.

Rory jumped on his snowboard and raced over to the fake mountains. Where the snow had fallen on the rocks, it had created a set of steep steps – perfect for bouncing down from a great height.

“What we could do, which would be really exciting …” he began, but Blue had already read his mind and was halfway up the mountain.

“Yay! Tail-wheelies into staircase-jumps, right, Rory?”

“Right, Blue.”

Rory stepped aside and, as the crowd gasped at the speed and courage of the little blue fairy penguin bouncing perilously from ledge to ledge, Rory knew it was a brilliant move.

*

The next morning, Rory was woken at dawn by a loud rap on his hutch door. He yawned, got out of his nest and went to see who it was. He thought it might be Blue, but it wasn’t.

“Sorry to disturb you so early, dear boy,” said Waldo, “only, my pogo stick has gone missing. I wondered if you might have borrowed it.”

Rory shook his head. “Where did you leave it, Waldo?”

“Outside Paulie’s Palace,” he winced. “I asked if he’d taken it inside to have a little bounce, but he said no and told me to go away, very loudly. He was ever so grumpy.”

Paulie could be quite fierce at times – especially first thing in the morning; he wasn’t an early bird.

“I expect he just got out of the wrong side of the nest, Waldo,” said Rory. “Come on, I’ll help you look for your pogo stick. I bet the chicks have hidden it as a prank.”

But they hadn’t. Rory and Waldo had only got as far as the frozen pool when Ursie waved at them frantically from the tree in the bear paddock.

“Yoo hoo! There’s been a kerfuffle! Muriel’s gone over the top!”

Rory sighed. The bears were terrible stirrers. They were always spreading rumours, and nine times out of ten, they weren’t true.

“Muriel’s gone over the top of what?”

“The wall!” said Ursie. “I’m not even lying.”

Rory wasn’t so sure. “How on earth could she get over the wall on her own?”

Rory had been over the top a few times himself. It wasn’t too difficult if he formed a pyramid with the others, but it was far too high for a fairy penguin to climb on her own.

“But that’s just it – she wasn’t on her own. She was with Hatty and Brenda,” said Ursie, climbing down from the tree. “Back me up, Orson!”

Orson lumbered over to the barrier and leant over.

“They all bounced over together,” he said, “on a pogo stick. Boing, boing … wheee! ”

Waldo clapped his flippers over his beak. “Boing, boing, wheee?”

“Actually, it was boing, boing, boing, wheee,” added Ursie. “There were three boings and a whee. Orson can’t count, which explains his bad dancing.”

As far as Rory was concerned, it didn’t matter how many boings there were. More to the point, where had Muriel and the girls gone – and why?

“Blue wasn’t with them, was she?” he asked.

“I’m here!” called Blue, skidding across the snow towards him. “Come quickly, Rory! Muriel’s done something really silly. We have to get her back before the zoo opens.”

She grabbed his flipper and they hurried over to the wall of the enclosure. The pogo stick lay in the snow where it had fallen.

“Where’s Muriel gone?” panted Rory.

Blue ran over to the viewing grille and pointed towards the grotto. “Look – there she is!”

Rory’s beak fell open. “I don’t believe it!”

Muriel was sitting in Santa’s sleigh with Brenda and Hatty, opening the presents in the sack.

“Nope, this one’s a toy soldier … don’t want that. Ooh, mittens!”

“Muriel!” yelled Blue. “ What are you doing?”

Muriel whisked round and waved at her. “I’m doing Christmas! I’ve got all sorts of lovely presents: mittens, muffs—Oh, here’s something for you, Bloop. It’s bubble bath. Believe me, you need it.”

“ Muriel , you have to get out of there now!” said Rory. “The zoo’s about to open. If you get caught, goodness knows what the keeper will do with you, let alone Paulie!”

Muriel took no notice, tore off another piece of wrapping paper and held up the contents. “Christmas underpants! I might give these to Warren. Any requests, Rory?”

“Yes!” he wailed. “Get back in the penguin enclosure. You’ll get Hatty and Brenda into big trouble.”

But Muriel didn’t seem to care. “Go jingle some bells, Rory,” she said. “ Tis the season to be jolly . Sing up, girls!”

“ Fa la la la la …” hummed Hatty.

“… la la la la ,” sang Brenda.

They were having such fun Rory couldn’t help feeling a bit left out. For all he knew, there might be some sparkly wheels in Santa’s sack. Surely it wouldn’t hurt just to nip over the wall for a few minutes and have a rummage? But if he said it outright, he would look greedy, so he took Blue to one side and made up a good excuse.