Kylie Chan - Hell to Heaven

‘You don’t need to remind me, I know the whole deal,’ Lok said.

I pushed the up button on the lift. ‘I’ll see you guys later.’

‘Oh, and if you happen to be in the markets anytime soon,’ Lok began, but the lift doors closed on me. Cow’s heart! he finished inside my head.

General Ma and I went down to the coffee shop on the ground floor of the Academy building for our meeting; he’d developed a taste for hazelnut lattes and couldn’t get enough of them.

‘Now, you have to understand that there is minimal discourse between the Platforms,’ Ma said, waving his latte. ‘Just as the Earthly Plane is the World of Ruin to the Celestial, so the Celestial is considered Ruin to the higher Platforms.’

‘But you move between worlds without difficulty,’ I said. ‘So the residents of the higher Platforms must come down to the Celestial now and then.’

‘That they do. But we never announce ourselves as Immortals when visiting this Plane,’ he said. ‘And most of the Bodhisattvas do the same when they come down to the Celestial.’

‘But it’s different — you aren’t allowed to tell people on the Earthly that you exist,’ I said. ‘Everybody on the Celestial knows that Bodhisattvas exist, and people like Kwan Yin visit you all the time.’

‘There is nothing to stop us from revealing our Immortal nature to those on the Earthly,’ he said. ‘But you tell someone you’re a Taoist Immortal and watch them make your life a complete misery for the next hundred years or so, wanting you to share the secret. Totally not worth it.’

‘I thought you weren’t allowed to tell people anything?’

‘There are topics we’re not permitted to discuss. Our existence is well-known, however, so that’s not off limits.’

‘I see,’ I said. ‘You’re not allowed to talk about death, the afterlife, stuff like that.’

‘Maybe,’ he said, smiling knowingly.

‘So Nu Wa is on a higher Platform, for Bodhisattvas? Can I even go that far?’

‘No, Nu Wa exists on the Celestial, in the Kunlun Mountains in the West, same Plane as the rest of us Immortals,’ Ma said. ‘You won’t have to travel to a higher Platform to see her.’

‘So I can go see her without too much difficulty. I can just ride a cloud with Simone.’

‘She’s up too high. No cloud can carry you that far. You have to walk the last two hundred li or so.’

I shrugged. ‘Okay, I’ll walk.’

‘In the snow.’

I shrugged again.

‘As a snake , Emma.’

‘Oh.’

‘No other serpent has been that far. I suggest you start working now on a way to keep you warm while you make the trek.’

‘Something all-over and padded maybe,’ I said. ‘And Simone can carry me.’

‘I doubt if even someone as powerful as the Princess can carry you all the way,’ he said. ‘Ever seen a documentary about climbing Everest?’

‘No way . It’s that high?’

‘It’s twice as high,’ he said.

‘But that would mean it’s in the lower part of the stratosphere! There wouldn’t be enough oxygen to breathe!’

‘Exactly.’

I dropped my head. ‘Geez, this is crazy.’ I remembered what John had said. ‘What about the Three Pure Ones? He said to see them first.’

‘They are on the First; you do not visit the higher Platform first. You should see Nu Wa on the Third — the Celestial Plane — before even thinking about visiting the First.’

‘The Second is the Heaven of Perfection and Enlightenment?’

‘Where the Buddhas exist, yes. The Three Pure Ones are on a higher Plane again. They are not living beings; they are more like concepts that occasionally choose to take human form and annoy the hell out of the rest of us.’

‘What’s the highest Platform like, Ma?’

‘The First Platform is so far removed from reality — from space–time as we know it — that it is difficult to describe it as even existing.’

‘Have you been there?’

‘Once or twice, when Ah Wu was in serious trouble and we needed some really high-end help. It’s not a place I’d recommend to anyone; the experience of being there twists your mind and can affect your sanity.’ He finished his latte. ‘Before you run off to do this stupid thing, I have made an appointment for you to see the Archivist. He may be able to help you.’

‘Thank you,’ I said with feeling. ‘I’ve been trying to see him since just after John died, and he’s ignored me completely. I even pulled rank and he still ignored me.’

He opened and closed his mouth, then smiled. ‘“John died”. That’s a strange way of putting it for those of us in the know. Ah Wu is not dead, he still shows up now and then.’

‘On the Earthly, you cut someone’s head off, they’re dead. I’ve made a habit of saying that John died so people on the Earthly don’t try to have me committed; and people on the Celestial see it as a joke in extremely poor taste.’

‘So you win either way,’ he said, understanding.

‘I’m getting old and forgetful,’ I said with a grin. ‘It’s easier to tell everybody that he died, but sometimes I talk to the office staff of Chencorp about him coming back and they think I’m crazy.’

‘You’re not getting old. You look younger every day. You need to find a mountain with a nice spring and some —’

‘I don’t have time for pine nuts and springwater. Go away ,’ I said. We rose and shook hands. ‘Thanks, Ah Guang, I appreciate your time. And props for getting the Archivist to talk to me.’

‘No problem at all,’ he said.

When I reached the door, I found it was stuck closed. The clatter of cups and the murmur of conversation ceased and the room became eerily silent; everybody in the coffee shop except Ma and myself had disappeared.

I didn’t mess around: I summoned the Murasame and it appeared in my hand. Ma took Celestial Form: a red-garbed warrior with flames on his robes and bright red hair down to his waist. A pyramid-shaped gold brick appeared in his left hand and a sword in his right.

‘Do you know what’s caused this?’ I said.

‘Wong Mo,’ he said, and gestured towards the door. ‘Incoming.’

Life continued as usual outside the shop windows; nobody noticed that I was holding a long black sword and standing next to a ten-foot-tall, red-robed god.

The doorbell rang. Ma was right: it was the King of the Demons, in normal human form, wearing a maroon silk shirt and black jeans, his blood-coloured hair held back in a ponytail. He spread his arms. ‘Emma, sweetheart, you don’t need that thing with me. I’m here to help.’ He saluted Ma. ‘Magistrate Ma of the Only True Power.’

Ma nodded back. ‘Wong Mo.’

I dismissed the sword. ‘Now I know why Simone hates being called “sweetheart”.’

The Demon King gestured towards the table where Ma and I had been sitting. ‘May I speak to you alone, Lady Emma?’

‘Anything you have to say, you can say in front of my most trusted lieutenant,’ I said.

‘Bah, she should be your lieutenant,’ the Demon King said to Ma. ‘You’re a heavenly general, one of the leaders of the Heavenly Host, right hand to the Dark Lord himself, and here you are babysitting a young female mortal.’

‘Just goes to show how far apart we are,’ Ma said. He moved to stand behind me as a Retainer.

I sat at the table. ‘Now, what did you want to talk to me about?’

‘You’re searching for ways to clear the demon essence from you. Just let me do it, dear Emma, and you can be ready for him when he returns.’

I rose again. ‘If that’s all you’re here for, you’re wasting your time.’

He spread his hands without rising. ‘Maybe we can negotiate something.’