Catherine Miller - Waiting For You

Fliss answered with small talk. News of her latest work projects, the possibility of working on some interiors at a chain of small boutique hotels, how Hollie’s schoolwork was going, how Ben was fine. She skipped over the real nitty-gritty. The fact she wasn’t pregnant yet, the reality that she missed coming to these family gatherings more often. She didn’t want to get all serious when delicious roast beef and mammoth Yorkshire puddings were waiting to be enjoyed. So instead she listened as Caroline relayed their news, including the fact they’d acquired another pet – a hamster called Cheesecake – and drank in the busy atmosphere with the three sisters, all their husbands, Joan and her five grandchildren all nestled round enjoying their food.

Chink. Chink. Chink. From the other end of the table, Joan tapped the side of her glass to get everyone’s attention.

‘Here we go, I’ve been waiting for this.’ Caroline nudged a secret whisper into Fliss’s ear.

It wasn’t like Joan to go about making announcements so Fliss inwardly panicked. Was she ill? Was there something Fliss had missed?

‘Over to you, Suzie,’ Joan said once everyone was paying attention.

Fliss’s younger sister stood up and, for the first time that day, Fliss truly took in her appearance. Her cheeks were rosier than usual, her white tunic top covered by a scarf that she was still wearing despite it being dinner-time. Before her sister even began to move her lips, the penny dropped. How had she not noticed before whereas Caroline clearly had? They’d been married for two years. Of course this would happen.

‘Oli and I are delighted to tell you all we’re expecting.’

Fliss smiled as Suzie shared a hug with Joan and within moments there was much congratulating, back-slapping, and cheers.

‘Settle down for a moment everyone,’ Joan instructed. ‘I would like to raise a toast. To my latest grandchild.’

Everyone raised a glass to Suzie and Oli and automatically Fliss joined in. She was delighted for them. Delighted.

Glancing across the table, she looked to Ben for some reassurance. Just a moment to say, ‘It’s okay, it’ll be us next,’ but he was too busy slapping Oli on the back.

Going with the wave of celebration, Fliss squeezed round the table with Caroline in tow to hug their sister and start asking the zillion and one questions that every mother wanted to know: how many weeks are you? When is your due date? Have you had your scan yet?

It was during this interrogation that Ben’s phone decided to ring. He was too far out of Fliss’s reach for her to give him a sharp nudge telling him to ignore it. Instead she went for a steely stare in his direction that he didn’t register.

‘Sorry, guys. I just need to take this. Back in a minute. Congrats again.’ Ben was halfway out of his seat before anyone acknowledged he was going.

‘Hello, just hold on a minute,’ Ben said down the phone as he exited to the front of the house.

Fliss didn’t want to think about what was so important that Ben had to run out on this celebratory moment. She pasted on a cheery smile and raised her glass. ‘Congratulations to Suzie and Oli, whose adventure is only just beginning.’

Everyone joined in the toast and Fliss gave Hollie a sly hug as she went to embrace her Auntie Suzie. Yes, parenthood really was the greatest adventure. And she so wanted to do it again.

***

‘What was that all about?’ Fliss asked Ben when she got the chance.

‘What was what about?’ Ben sat next to her on the sofa, cup of tea in hand.

‘Taking a phone call in the middle of a family celebration. Surely it could have waited.’ Clearly the talk about work interfering with family life hadn’t impacted enough for Ben to consider the action inappropriate.

‘I couldn’t ignore it.’

‘Why not? Who was it?’ Fliss failed to see why he couldn’t have rung back.

‘It was a work thing.’

‘I know, it always is, but I wanted to know what was so important it couldn’t wait.’ Fliss attempted to keep her voice low, not wanting to draw attention to the discussion while everyone was enjoying a post-lunch drink.

‘It was one of our clients. It’s a complicated underground build and it’s been having a few issues. As they were calling I knew it must be urgent.’

‘And was it?’ Fliss asked, still not satisfied with Ben’s answers.

‘No, fortunately not, otherwise I might have had to leave. It wasn’t me he needed to speak to to sort the problem out, it was the foreman. So thankfully I’m still here with you and the family enjoying the day.’ Ben took her hand in his and caressed it gently. ‘I’m sorry about the bad timing.’

Fliss sipped her tea, trying to let her frustration at the recent work intrusions on family life ebb away. ‘It just seems to be becoming a bit of a habit.’ This wouldn’t have been the first time a work phone call meant Ben had to make a swift exit.

‘Here.’ Ben took out his phone and pressed the side button. ‘It’s off. No more intrusions for today. I’ll have to start doing that more often at the weekend. They shouldn’t be calling me while I’m at home anyway.’

Maybe he was listening to her after all.

Chapter Four

Mondays were Fliss’s least favourite day of the week. Just as they would get back into the swing of things with family life, it was time for Ben to head back to London. His work schedule determined whether he would go up on the Sunday evening or Monday morning. This weekend, after their discussion, he’d opted for the early wake-up call so they would have one more night together. It made for a long day as he’d managed to wake both Fliss and Hollie so a couple of hours extra entertaining her daughter this morning meant that this evening she was in need of an early night.

Before heading off to bed, Fliss carried out the usual weekday ritual of sending Ben a text summarising their day. It was hard to recall when the usual evening telephone call had been reduced to a text message, but it hadn’t been long after the house move. Hollie had been younger and, with the cottage’s low ceilings, more than once the calls had disturbed her sleep. So they’d switched to messaging each other and years on they were still texting rather than calling.

The message she typed out now was like a template for all the others.

Hollie had a good day. Two refurbished eBay items sold. Tired now. Sweet dreams xxx

What she didn’t include was the fact the show’s producer had called and wanted to visit tomorrow to assess whether her proposal was possible. Or that she kept thinking about Suzie’s pregnancy and having lustful thoughts about it being her. Little fantasies about enjoying the experience with her younger sister kept tantalising her daydreams. If only.

Fliss considered giving Ben a call to tell him how she was feeling, but there was far too much to say and she was too tired. And there was nothing to add to what she’d told him on Friday night. She’d tried to talk about their efforts for another baby and he hadn’t listened. He wanted her to wait six months, but she wasn’t at an age where she wanted to wait for half a year. She wanted to know now.

***

The instant they bundled into her cramped kitchen, Fliss regretted her foolhardiness.

‘Will there be enough space to set up in here?’ the skinny brunette said to the two blokes she was bossing about. She’d introduced herself as Carrie and since she’d been let across the threshold, she’d neglected to pay Fliss any attention.

Already Fliss was overwhelmed and wanted to send them on their way. If she put a stop to it she would be in control again. But then… How else was she going to get Ben to say yes to finding out what was wrong? And didn’t she want to know for herself?