William Shakespeare - The Taming of the Shrew

He bear himself with honourable action,

Such as he hath observ’d in noble ladies

Such duty to the drunkard let him do,

With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,

And say ‘What is’t your honour will command,

Wherein your lady and your humble wife

And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,

And with declining head into his bosom,

Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed

To see her noble lord restor’d to health,

No better than a poor and loathsome beggar.

And if the boy have not a woman’s gift

To rain a shower of commanded tears,

An onion will do well for such a shift,

Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.

See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst;

Anon I’ll give thee more instructions.

[Exit a Servant.]

I know the boy will well usurp the grace,

I long to hear him call the drunkard ‘husband’;

And how my men will stay themselves from laughter

When they do homage to this simple peasant.

I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence

Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter aloft SLY , with Attendants; some with apparel, basin and ewer, and other appurtenances; and Lord.]

Sly

For God’s sake, a pot of small ale.

1 Servant

Will’t please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

2 Servant

Will’t please your honour taste of these conserves?

3 Servant

What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

Sly

Lord

Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!

O, that a mighty man of such descent,

Of such possessions, and so high esteem,

Sly

[Taking a pot of ale]

Here’s –

3 Servant

2 Servant

O, this is it that makes your servants droop!

Lord

Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.

O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth!

And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.

Look how thy servants do attend on thee,

Each in his office ready at thy beck.

Wilt thou have music? Hark! Apollo plays,

[Music.]

Or wilt thou sleep? We’ll have thee to a couch

Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed

On purpose trimm’d up for Semiramis.

Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground.

Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.

Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar

Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt?

Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them

1 Servant

Say thou wilt course; thy grey-hounds are as swift

As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe.

2 Servant

Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight

Adonis painted by a running brook,

Which seem to move and wanton with her breath

Even as the waving sedges play wi’ th’ wind.

Lord

We’ll show thee lo as she was a maid

And how she was beguiled and surpris’d,

3 Servant

Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,

Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds;

And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

Lord

Thou hast a lady far more beautiful

Than any woman in this waning age.

1 Servant

And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee

Like envious floods o’er-run her lovely face,

And yet she is inferior to none.

Sly

Am I a lord and have I such a lady?

Or do I dream? Or have I dream’d till now?

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