Job Mothiba - Issues Of The Heart

You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways. Hence, it takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it is not until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws “the ones that truly define who you are” that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships. Only then do you finally know what you are looking for. You are looking for the imperfect person who will balance you out, the perfectly imperfect person. “So do not make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives… (1 Corinthians 4:5)

Besides, every person in this world is better than someone else and not as good someone else. Your insecurities are not always a bad thing, your flaws are not a deal breaker when falling in love. Never allow any of these life’s situations to rob you of an opportunity to say, “I love you”. Be yourself, even when you feel imperfect, ugly, too skinny or overweight, know that your love is worth it. For love is not “if” or “because” but, love is “anyway” and “even though” and “in spite of”. So, do not be discouraged to trust again, love again but never settle just because you are lonely.

Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves and believe there is an invisible score keeper who is tracking our mistakes and accomplishments. Forgetting that life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You will never achieve some things until you fully accept the reality that you are not perfect. However, just because you get older in age does not mean you have to settle in relationships just to get married. Happiness in love has no age limit. Slow down, allow yourself to realize that life is about progress, not perfection. And the keys to finding love are patience and a healthy mind-set. Being jaded would not attract anyone worth having and, “settling” guarantees failure.

But, if you are searching for that one person who will change your life. Take a look in the mirror. There is a beauty beyond the mirror. And, it is only the Godly man or woman who can see it that worth your time. Do not let it be about “ boobs and booty “or “muscles and six packs” but, your Godly character and sweet personality and your faithfulness in God. Never doubt for a second how beautiful you are. You are one of a kind. Look in the mirror and be proud of that special and unique person you have become. Being the best is great, you are number one.

But, being ‘unique’ is greater, you are the only one. You do not really need someone to change or complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely. Do not truly change for someone; change for God. You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You were made to fulfil a purpose that only you could do. So, there will never be a more beautiful you. Seek no one’s approval, your life does not depend on other’s acceptance. You do not need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. Do not change who you are just because you are afraid of losing someone. If one really loves you, your imperfections would not matter. Give one a space to show up for you. If you are constantly chasing them, you will never get to see if you are the only one holding on.

The hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had. If one need space, give it to them. If you do not, you will get closer to them and they will grow away from you. Rejection does not decrease your value when you know your worth. Young love cares about what is now and never mind what is next but mature love cares about what is now and after. “Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

God always gives us a choice. However, we cannot remember the choices we made at 16, at 21, at 35 years yet, many of those choices are influencing our lives. We spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that we miss the right opportunity. When you finally get something good, enjoy it. Do not go looking for something perfect and miss out on what is real. Hence, there is no perfect people. We all make mistakes but you need to remember and celebrate what you have done right. Everything may not be where you want them to be in life… But, even in the small successes, give God the highest praise. For, “…the joy of the Lord is your strength.”(Nehemiah 8:10)

So, choosing a life partner should not be done without first praying fervently and seeking God’s will in the matter. Anytime you take someone with you that God has not authorized, it tampers with your destiny. Never look for someone who will take care of you. Instead look for someone who will care for you. Infatuation is when you find

someone who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they are not and it does not matter. Do not fall in love with someone who only says the right things, fall in love with someone who does the right things.

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what she or he has already achieved, but at what she or he aspires to. Not everyone knows how to be everything you need them to be. Forgive their inability. Consider their heart and do not hide yours either, just learn to show it and share it respectfully. The more you hide your heart feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow. Sometimes you can be too busy searching in the distance, to notice that what you are really looking for, is right next to you. “If you search for good, you will find favour; but if you search for evil, it will find you!” (Proverbs 11:27)

Choose a partner that uses the word “when” not “if” when describing their future. Beyond your desire for intimacy also look for sincerity but, it is not easy find sincerity. It is important to know that sincerity does not and cannot substitute the truth for it is an openness of heart that can be found in very few people, what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win confidence of others. Do not do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others.

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. Promise only what you can deliver. Then, deliver more than you promised. Let the truth be the light that you see by, open your heart to honesty and close the door to illusion. Be careful, everything genuine can be faked. In human emotions, only the heart can tell the difference. Words that do not come from the heart can deceive you. Do not be fooled by its common place appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts.

Do not be fooled by the face they wear, for it is a mask. Pretending is their second nature. They give you impression that they are secure beneath, lays a real confusion. Pretending can fool men but, it cannot fool God. Nature cannot be fooled. Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” (Proverbs 12:22)

Being with someone who wants to hear all about your day and let you know everything is going to be okay when you are sad it is the best thing. However, most people are giving love in many different forms to others so they may be appreciated and loved by others. That is a common agenda for one that has not yet found love within themselves. But, love has no agendas, reasons nor attachments. When you love in any form only because it is your truest feeling from within, you will be one with love, not needing to receive it from others externally, so that the love you give is free, and therefore allowing you to be free.