Job Mothiba - Issues Of The Heart

Hence, the greatest gift you can give someone is space to be his or herself, without the threat of you leaving them if they are not the way you want them to be. You should be willing to love people where they are. People should not have to change to feel your love. Love is supposed to be unconditional. If people have to earn your love, then you do not really love. Love without strings attached. Just as God loved you while in your mess “…I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

One thing you can do better than anyone else, is be yourself. Do you live on the reflections of yourself in the eyes of others or do you dare to be yourself. When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it is probably time to change your friends. The most important person in your life is the one that builds your faith. People may have an impact on your life but only God can change your life. Make sure that the person you have fallen for should never take the role of your God. No one is that important but Jesus Christ. “Jesus however came near and said to them, “All power in Heaven and over the earth has been given to me.” (Matthew 28:18)

If you cannot see yourself as worthy, loveable, or someone who has something to offer the world then neither will anyone else. But, when you raise your standard and treat yourself as the beautiful soul you are, the outside world responds. Imagine growing up believing you were a slave. Just to find out you were royalty all along. You will be amazed that all the qualities you long to experience or see in others already exist within you. Remember the old saying that, “If you spot it, you got it.” So, do not permit any form of slavery in your life anymore. You are a child of the Most High King! You are His treasured possession. (Deuteronomy 7:6)

You will never find what you are looking for in love, if you do not love yourself. As you know the beauty of love emanates from within so, look inside yourself, look into your heart if you wish to find love. If it is not easy to find love in yourself, it is not possible to find it elsewhere. What is on the inside, may not reflect on the outside. But, the reason why you are so easy to spot in a crowd is because those who are beautiful inside are publicly glowing.

However, if you go looking for true love you would not find it because love is never lost, only we are lost. It is not something you seek out, it seeks you. It can grow and bloom even in frozen soil and the harshest conditions. It exists everywhere, all the time, a flower for all the seasons. It blooms when the conditions are just right, you cannot force the flower to open, nor a heart. For the man of love does not subscribe to the power of evil, he sees a lack of love as the root of all problems. He may not solve all your problems but, he would not let you face them alone. “…Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the Sin of the world.” (John 1:29)

Love it is not half baked, it is an action word. If you do not love yourself in a healthy way, you will never be able to love others in the way that you should. Hence, a person that has trouble celebrating others has trouble in celebrating themselves. If you do not ever get excited about what God has done for you, you would not ever get excited enough to tell someone else for celebration. For some people will never celebrate where God is taking you because they are stuck on where you have been.

When you are able to genuinely wish someone well, have no jealousy in your heart towards them and want the best for them, you are truly blessed. And, knowing that you are blessed means you are able to stay happy in any circumstance. So, learn to celebrate others accomplishments, it will build you up as a person, instead of envying them and putting yourself down. Hence, love has a way of growing and multiplying. As we make a living by what we get and make a life by what we give. It seems the more I love, the more I have to give. So, give it all. Love life as long as you live. Offer a helping hand when you are able. Appreciate all the things God has given you. Smile and embrace life. Then, your own celebration is coming soon. “Be happy with those who are happy, and…!” (Romans 12:15)

What does love looks like? Well, it has got hands to help, feet to hasten to, eyes to see misery, and ears to hear sorrows of the other partner. It does not only consist of gazing at each other but, in looking together in the same direction. It knows the difference between hurting and harming. So, it is important not to confuse control, with loving and caring for each other. Control is not love. Never tolerate a relationship where you are not allowed to think for yourself. Do not allow others to make your life about them.

Their life is about them. Yours cannot be about them too. Sometimes, they keep you under control to try to stop you from standing on your own two feet because they are afraid you just might walk away freely. Until you stand up and claim your freedom back, you will never truly know how strong you really are. Even if it would not happen overnight but, the journey to improvement starts with the first step. Learning to say no might be one of the hardest but most important way of standing up for yourself. If you tend to be a “yes” person who never wants to let anyone down, you risk becoming a door-mat who everyone walks all over and takes advantage of. “Christ set us free to remain free. So stand firm and do not again be tangled in the yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1)

Sometimes in your desire to walk in love, you end up walking into a full blown mess. Few things in life are as valuable as healthy relationships. Honesty is the best policy and the first person you tell a lie to is yourself. You can always say it was not intentional but, that is the biggest lie you can tell yourself. Sometimes actions lie just like words so if you do not mean it stop doing it. Stop chasing rumours, running down friends and jumping to conclusions.

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