Maria Pia Oelker - In The East

He would have induced the prince to limit games and forays and to commit himself with more order and stability to study matters more useful to his rank.

And indeed, the prince, from then onward, had not much time to look out the bars of the gate at the road that led to the city and to observe the night sky from the windows. His day was filled to the minute by the hours that the master had set up for him and the queen had only partially succeeded in mitigating to give her and her son the possibility of enjoying each other's company for a few hours.

Early in the morning the child was still able to find his way into the park, but he had to return almost immediately for the first lessons, and he could no longer jump over the hedges and discover the secrets of the garden.

The tutor always waited for him with his severe demeanor on the study door and reproached him pedantically whenever he was even a few minutes late.

“ If your Highness does not respect what we agreed on, I will have to insist with the queen to take away your permission to visit the park in the morning ” he repeated obsessively.

The boy knew that his mother would defend him, but he feared that in the end the master would appeal to the king and, on that front, he was no longer so sure.

He had trusted his father and believed him when he had made promises, but apparently the master had been right in saying that the king had just wanted to amuse himself and his mother stating he should not believe the king would return soon.

And, although in fact they were not exactly the same, the prince always combined the two concepts, arriving at the desolate conclusion that he was not at all important to his father and that he would therefore not see him again for a long time. Meanwhile, he had to obey the preceptor, because his mother wanted him to, and bow his head to his every-day more despotic and senseless pretensions, at least in his opinion.

When the king, after a couple of months, finally wrote to reassure the queen, who had complained about the excessive severity of the master, and to point out that he would have supervised personally and checked, on his return, that his excessive involvement was not an issue, the Prince felt extremely disappointed that the sovereign made no mention of a set return date and even more because he rarely heard from him, except for the usual generic recommendations that every parent has for one’s children.

Did the king no longer think of him? Had he abandoned him?

He thought about this for whole nights and during distracting gloomy days, which gave him insomnia and made him incredibly careless in his tasks, which caused him to be punished. But he no longer seemed to notice the humiliations inflicted on him or the severe threats of the tutor. His mother herself could not get anything out of him.

Sometimes in the morning he stood in the deer grove, motionless, for a very long time, even after his friends had left, staring at the fallen fence as if trying to understand what message was hidden for him. But he could not make sense of the thoughts that crowded his mind, garbled, and confused, and ended up getting lost behind timeless shadows without logic.

One day he even forgot to come back for classes. They looked for him everywhere, but nobody could see him, crouched as he was behind a bush of laurel, deaf and blind.

His mother became alarmed and left the park in person to track him down. When, finally, he emerged from his hiding place, as if from a dream, unaware of the time and of the commotion caused, the master was beside himself with anger and the queen herself, already quite worried, was beginning to question if the king and the preceptor were right to ask her to be firmer with the prince. Was it possible that he did not understand that his whims did not make it easier for her to help him?

The result was that she agreed to an exemplary punishment and forbade the prince, to the master's immense satisfaction, to go out in the park from then on, until he would show greater commitment and sense of responsibility.

The prince wept and begged his mother in vain: he got absolutely nothing in return. And that was really the first time.

In the evening, opening himself up to Antonia, the child tried to explain his reasons to the nurse, but obviously even he could not fully understand what had prompted him act that way. The nurse rocked him in her arms, calming his sorrowful sobs and promised to talk to the queen.

But when she whispered: "But, my darling, you should also be more obedient with your mother and the teacher," he shouted: "Everyone here is betraying me!"

And those had been his real feelings for months, feelings he had never dared to confess even to himself.

”Who betrayed you? “ asked the governess.

” My father first, today my mother and now ... now you too.”

"No, Your Highness, not me," she said firmly.

“ Yes, you too. I am obedient, I do what I can to please everyone and nobody, no one believes me.”

“ I believe you.”

“ It's not true.”

“ I believe you “ repeated Antonia “ I know you're right, but why did you behave like that with your mother today?”

“ I didn't hear you, I told you. I swear. I didn't notice anything. Maybe I was asleep. I haven't been sleeping for many nights now.”

"Why, Your Highness? This is not good."

“ I was hoping the king would come back soon; he had promised me, and I believed him, but they were just lies. Everyone tells me lies and nobody loves me.”

“ Your mother loves you.”

“ No. Why doesn’t she send away that master who hates me?”

“ What are you saying? These are big accusations.”

“ But it's true. You don't see the look in his eyes when he looks at me and how happy he is if he can humiliate me in front of everyone, including my mother. And if I rebel, he tells my mother that I am irreverent and rude to him. And she believes him!”

His words ended in a scream broken by pain and burning indignation. Antonia was unable to answer him, but he did not need an answer (his day was filled with questions and answers) and Antonia's affection, even if it was not enough, was still excellent medicine.

Spring returned and the prince, who had not yet regained permission to run around the park before his lessons in the morning, suddenly realized that he did not care anymore that year to find the first flowery violets and to go and tell his mother triumphantly. And although he was still too young to be frightened by this unnatural disinterest, he instinctively felt that he didn't like it.

It was then that he decided to run away from the castle.

What about his mother? He was sorry to leave her, but for months now he had no longer spoken to her with the sincerity of the past.

And his father? He wouldn't even notice.

The only ones who would really feel bad would have been Antonia and the old gardener, but, after all, they too would soon get over it and would not miss him that much.

One morning he awoke before dawn as the sky was just beginning to turn its black cloak to a pearly grey, which in the east faded to a very light yellow; he cautiously went by the bed of the housekeeper who slept soundly after having long watched over him the night before; he opened the door quietly and hurried down the stairs. He was barefoot not to be heard by the early morning servants and he held in his hand, besides the shoes, only a blanket and the travel book his father had read to him many times at the time of their friendship.

He entered the stables. No one was there yet. Fortunately, the animals did not neigh when he arrived. He untied his horse, a young chestnut with a gentle face and a quick gait, he got it ready, arranged two travel bags on the sides of the saddle, filling them with provisions, which he had stolen from the pantry the night before and hidden under the hay. Touching it with his forefinger in front of its mouth to tell it to be silent and not to betray him, he led it outside. The alleys of the park were empty, no one around, but he had to hurry if he wanted to have some distance over his potential followers.