Calliope Glass - The Addams Family - The Story of the Movie

Boom!

A distant explosion flashed high above as the rocket finally exploded. Gomez squinted into the sunlight, scanning the sky for his son.

‘YeaaaaaAAA AAGH !’ Pugsley appeared, his scream getting louder and louder as he fell closer and closer to earth. When he was only about thirty metres above the ground, Pugsley yanked the cord on his emergency parachute vest, and a large silk parachute popped open above him. He dangled in the air, gliding gently and slowly downwards.

Not wasting a moment, Pugsley pulled out his slingshot and a handful of small explosive mines and began hurling the mines at his father. Blam! Blam! Blam! They landed around Gomez as he danced and dodged and finally fled.

‘Don’t make me come up there!’ Gomez shouted at Pugsley, who sailed through the sky hanging from his parachute, shooting down more mines at his father.

‘This is your last warning!’ Gomez called, still running.

Pugsley rummaged in his pocket. Only one mine left. He fitted it into the strap of his slingshot and pulled it back, taking aim carefully. As Pugsley released the mine, Gomez produced a baseball bat out of nowhere and turned to face the incoming explosive. He waggled the bat, took a batting stance, and waited.

Bam! Gomez hit the mine straight back at Pugsley, and it detonated in the parachute, sending Pugsley spinning down into the greenhouse, where he landed with a crash .

Gomez gave him a hand up.

‘Morning,’ he said.

‘Morning,’ Pugsley replied cheerfully.

Gomez took his son by the shoulders and stared seriously into his eyes. ‘Pugsley,’ he said. ‘We’re supposed to be working on your swordplay every morning before breakfast. Your Sabre Mazurka is in two weeks, and you’ve barely practised at all!’

Pugsley pouted and shrugged. ‘So I missed one practice. What’s the big deal?’

Gomez’s eyes went wide. ‘The big deal ?!’ he cried. ‘Why, the Sabre Mazurka is the most important day in the life of a young Addams man! It’s what makes you an Addams! It’s the day your entire family gathers round you and judges your worth as a human being .’

‘It’s basically Thanksgiving,’ Wednesday offered as she trooped by them on her way into the house.

‘There!’ Gomez agreed. ‘Thanksgiving! Whatever that is.’

Pugsley squirmed. ‘But swords are so old-fashioned,’ he whined. ‘I’m more of a demolitions man.’

Gomez frowned. ‘Explosives have no place in a Mazurka,’ he said. ‘Hand them over.’

Pugsley sighed and handed his father a stick of TNT.

‘All of it,’ Gomez prompted, and Pugsley rummaged through his clothes and produced another stick of TNT, a handful of fire crackers, several roman candles, some bang-snaps, a holy hand grenade and a small pile of other miscellaneous explosives.

‘Is that all of it?’ Gomez asked sternly.

Pugsley nodded. ‘I swear on my honour as an Addams,’ he said.

Gomez nodded his head, satisfied. He knelt down and took Pugsley by the shoulders. ‘Son,’ he said gently, ‘our family hasn’t been all together in thirteen years. Not since your mother and I got married. They’re coming from all over the world to see you on your special day.’

Pugsley stared up at his father, his eyes wide.

‘I just want it to go perfectly,’ Gomez said.

‘Okay, Pop,’ Pugsley said softly. ‘I’ll practise.’

‘That’s my boy,’ Gomez replied, and gave him a hearty pat on the back. It knocked a stick of TNT out of Pugsley’s pocket.

‘Oops,’ Pugsley said insincerely.

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