Cathy Glass - The Silent Cry - There is little Kim can do as her mother's mental health spirals out of control

Certain details in this story, including names, places and dates, have been changed to protect the children.

HarperElement

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First published by HarperElement 2016

FIRST EDITION

© Cathy Glass 2016

A catalogue record of this book is

available from the British Library

Cover image © Krasimira Petrova Shishkova/Trevillion Images (posed by model)

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2016

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identified as the author of this work

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Source ISBN: 9780008153717

Ebook Edition © February 2016 ISBN: 9780008153724

Version: 2017-11-21

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Chapter One: A Funny Turn

Chapter Two: Very Concerned

Chapter Three: Lullaby at Bedtime

Chapter Four: Shelley

Chapter Five: A Very Strange Phone Call

Chapter Six: Useless

Chapter Seven: Upset

Chapter Eight: A Playmate?

Chapter Nine: Samson

Chapter Ten: The Devil’s Child

Chapter Eleven: Trying to Hurt Him

Chapter Twelve: Very Serious

Chapter Thirteen: Worry

Chapter Fourteen: Gina

Chapter Fifteen: Everley

Chapter Sixteen: Home Again

Chapter Seventeen: Progress

Chapter Eighteen: Child Abuse

Chapter Nineteen: Unwelcome News

Chapter Twenty: Waiting In

Chapter Twenty-One: Last Resort

Chapter Twenty-Two: A Reprieve

Chapter Twenty-Three: Going Home

Epilogue

Suggested topics for reading-group discussion

Cathy Glass

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About the Publisher

A big thank you to my family; my editors, Carolyn and Holly; my literary agent, Andrew; my UK publishers HarperCollins, and my overseas publishers who are now too numerous to list by name. Last, but definitely not least, a big thank you to my readers for your unfailing support and kind words.

The room is dark, although it’s daylight outside. Strangely dark and eerily quiet. Not a sound when there should be noise. Crying and screaming, that’s what she was expecting to hear. And the room seems smaller now too, as though the walls are gradually closing in and crushing her, crushing her to death.

She sits huddled at one end of the sofa, too scared to look around. Scared of what she might see in this unnaturally dark and quiet room that is threatening to squeeze the air out of her and squash her to nothing. Scared, too, of what lies ahead if she stands and goes to the telephone to make that call, and tells them what she’s done. They will come and take her baby for sure if she tells them that she has given birth to the devil.

Everyone loves a newborn baby and wants a little look. Even those who protest that they are not ‘baby lovers’ can’t resist a peep at the miracle of a new life. I joined the other mothers grouped around the pram in the school playground as we waited with our children for the start of school.

‘Congratulations, he’s gorgeous,’ I said, adding my own best wishes to the many others.

‘Thank you,’ Laura (the new mum) said quietly, a little bemused by all the attention.

‘How old is he now?’ I asked.

‘Two weeks.’

‘Aah, he’s adorable.’

‘Make the most of every moment,’ another mother said. ‘They grow up far too quickly.’

My own daughter, Paula, aged thirteen months, was sitting in the stroller and wanted to have a look too, so I unclipped the safety harness and lifted her out so she could see into the pram.

‘Baby,’ she said cutely, pointing.

‘Yes, that’s baby Liam,’ I said.

‘Baby Liam,’ she repeated with a little chuckle.

‘You were that small once,’ I said, and she chuckled again.

‘He’s my baby brother,’ Kim, Laura’s daughter, said proudly.

‘I know. Aren’t you a lucky girl?’ I said to her, returning Paula to her stroller.

Kim nodded and touched her baby brother’s face protectively, then planted a delicate little kiss on his cheek.

The family had moved into the street where I lived about a year before. Laura and I had got to know each other a little from seeing each other on the way to and from school. My son Adrian, aged five, attended this school but was in a different year to Kim, who was seven. Living quite close to each other I kept meaning to invite Laura in for a coffee and develop our friendship, but I hadn’t found the opportunity, what with looking after my own family, fostering and studying for a degree part-time. I guessed Laura had been busy too, especially now she had a baby.

Amid all the oohings and aahings over little Liam the Klaxon sounded the start of school and parents began saying goodbye to their children.

‘Bye, love,’ I said to Adrian, giving him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Have a good day. Make sure you eat your lunch, and have a drink.’ He’d only been in school a year and I still fussed over him.

‘Bye, Mum. Bye, Paula,’ he said, and ran over to join his class who were lining up, ready to go in.

‘Bye, little Liam,’ Kim said, leaning into the pram again to give her brother one last kiss. She clearly didn’t want to leave him. ‘See you later. Be a good boy for Mummy.’ I smiled.

‘Cathy,’ Laura said suddenly, clutching my arm. ‘I feel a bit hot. I’m going to get a drink of water. Could you stay with the pram, please?’

She turned and walked quickly towards the water fountain situated in an alcove at the far end of the building. Kim looked at me anxiously.

‘Don’t worry, love. I’ll make sure your mum is all right. You go into school.’

She hesitated, but then ran over to join her class, who were going in. I could see Laura at the fountain, leaning forward and sipping the cool water. I thought I should go over in case she was feeling faint. She’d only given birth two weeks before and I could remember how I’d sometimes suddenly felt hot and dizzy in the first few weeks after having both of my children. Pushing Paula’s stroller with my right hand and Liam’s pram with my left, I steered them across the playground to the water fountain. ‘Are you OK?’ I asked Laura as we approached.

‘Oh, yes, thank you,’ she said, straightening and wiping her mouth on a tissue. ‘I came over a bit funny. I’m all right now.’

I thought she looked pale. ‘Why don’t you sit down for a while? The children are going in.’ There were a couple of benches in the playground that the children used at playtime.

‘No, I’m all right, honestly. I just felt a bit hot and panicky. I think it was all the attention, and it is warm today.’

‘Yes, it is warm for May,’ I agreed. ‘But make sure you don’t overdo it.’