After some coaxing, a bit of bribery and assurances that Anna loved her, Carrie finally seemed placated and Anna went back inside to her mother.
‘I’ve spoken to James, Mum. I’m staying for a few more days.’
‘Oh, that’s good, love. Thank you.’ Her mind was elsewhere, Anna sensed.
‘I meant to say as well, Auntie Tina is popping in at ten-ish.’
‘What?’ Muriel shot Anna a quizzical glance. ‘What do you mean, popping in? How do you know this?’
‘Didn’t I mention yesterday that I’d seen her?’ Anna felt disingenuous, knowing full well she hadn’t uttered a word about it.
‘No. You most certainly did not!’
Anna was shocked at her tone. Had things really become that bad between them?
‘Sorry, I bumped into her while I was walking around the village. She asked after you, and me, of course. She mentioned getting together, so I invited her for a coffee and catch-up.’ Anna paused. ‘I assumed it would be okay?’
Muriel chewed on her lower lip, saying nothing.
‘Mum?’
Muriel shook her head and tutted. ‘You should’ve checked with me first, Anna. I don’t want to see her.’
‘Why not? What on earth happened between you two?’
‘It’s water under the bridge, dear. It’ll do no good dredging up the past.’
‘We don’t need to. I think she just wants to talk about now – how you are, probably what I’ve been doing.’ Even as she was saying it, Anna got an uneasy feeling. Auntie Tina hadn’t seemed as though she’d really be interested to hear about Anna’s life. Yesterday, she’d come across as bitter that Anna had been the one to live at all. The visit was looking like a potential disaster. She wished she could take the invite back now.
‘I doubt Tina will be wanting to talk about the future.’
‘When did you last speak to her though? Maybe she’s moved on.’
‘She never moved on, Anna. From the day Jonie went missing, Tina changed. She’s not who you knew when you were growing up. We lost our connection, really, when we lost Jonie. From that moment on I think she began to resent me, although she seemingly tried to hide it, keeping it all in for a while. But it must’ve deepened over the months and it came to a head a few years later. It erupted then, causing her to despise me, you – everyone who continued with their life unaltered—’
‘God, no one was left unaltered, Mum. Surely she knows that.’
‘No one suffered like Tina suffered – she made sure everyone knew that . Not even Mark, God rest his soul.’ Muriel made a sign of the cross before carrying on. ‘His grief wasn’t as great, his loss not as profound. No one could understand, no one could truly know what Tina had been through, continued to go through. She looked for that girl night after night, for years. It destroyed her.’ Tears shone on Muriel’s dry, crinkly cheeks. ‘It ripped her marriage apart, something Mark didn’t recover from, and it eventually destroyed our friendship too. Even the village never felt the same again. Not safe . It never really recovered.’
‘Did you ever tell Tina this? Like you’ve just told me?’
‘Of course. But it didn’t help. She never forgave me, you see.’
‘For what?’
‘For it being Jonie and not you.’ Muriel looked into Anna’s eyes. For a split second, all Anna saw was pain. But something else was hidden there too. Guilt? Surely the person who’d delivered the bloody message couldn’t be alluding to Muriel having blood on her hands?
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