Noelle Holten - Dead Inside

‘Well you know that Lucy called earlier today. She wanted to flag up Louise Millard’s address as Robert left probation a little pissed off. Robert is one of our regulars .’

Maggie shuddered at the thought of what this description entailed.

‘Safe-and-well check then, I presume?’

‘Yep. All sorted. Two of the field team officers have been tasked with the job. Looks like it has happened, but the system hasn’t been updated with the full details yet. We can pick anything up in the morning from the log but, as nothing has been flagged, it must have gone OK. Any emergency will be dealt with by the field team tonight.’

Looking over Mark’s shoulder, Maggie noted the long list of call-outs to the address. ‘Hmmm … so Robert Millard has recently been bailed for a breach of the harassment order in place?’

‘Yeah. Lucy will send me the details of their session today. She emails over any concerns, especially if she isn’t going to be at the police station any time soon.’

After scanning the records, Maggie’s own experience with domestic abusers told her it wouldn’t take much to trigger Robert.

‘Do you know if Lucy contacted the victim’s support worker? Sorry, I know this is stuff you’re all probably aware of and doing, I just need to check, to satisfy myself before I go home. Once I’ve been here for a few days, I promise the questions will ease up, but only just a bit.’ Maggie smiled.

‘That’s OK. I get it. Lucy said she’d be contacting Sharon – oh, sorry, you won’t know who Sharon is. Sharon Bairden is the victim’s advocate connected to our team. You’ll meet her soon enough as she attends our operational meetings. I sent the details over to her as well. Always good to cover our asses.’ Despite being an integrated team, each agency worked on separate computer systems, so information was often duplicated.

‘So, although it has been one hell of a long day, it’s been a productive one and it really has been great getting to grips with things as much as I can.’

Maggie could tell from Mark’s immaculately organized desk that he would have everything in order. She glanced at her own desk – organized chaos – and hoped Mark wasn’t OCD. She’d only been in the office one day and already it looked like she’d been there years. Despite this, she got the impression that they would work well together.

Maggie felt her mobile phone buzz in her pocket. Pulling it out and seeing his name on the screen always filled her with dread. Why now?

Maggie stared at her mobile debating on whether she should answer it. She clicked to answer, putting the phone to her ear.

‘What have you done now?’

‘Hello to you, too.’

‘Cut the bullshit. I’m still at work. What do you want?’ Maggie stood up and walked out to the hallway.

Glancing back into the office, she noticed Mark quickly turn and look at his computer screen. Maggie needed to keep calm and lower her voice; she didn’t want any awkward questions that she couldn’t answer.

A familiar whine reached her ears.

‘Sorry, I thought you’d be at home now, it’s late. Can I stay at yours? I’ve been thrown out of my flat.’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake. What have you done now?’

‘Nothing! I swear. The landlord has it in for me.’

Maggie looked at her watch and sighed.

‘I’m done now. Meet me at the café on the corner near my flat. We’ll talk.’

‘Thanks, Maggie. Really – you have no idea how much this means to me. Should I, uh, bring my stuff with me?’

‘You can … but I’m not making any promises. Let’s talk first.’

Maggie hung up. She saw Mark looking her way again, but ignored him and headed back to her desk so she could wrap things up for the day and get out of there.

Why the fuck am I the only one he calls?

He was already seated and tearing napkins to shreds when Maggie arrived at the corner café. This was a nervous habit from his childhood that seemed to have carried on into his adult years.

‘Do you want a coffee?’ Maggie gently tapped his shoulder.

He nearly jumped out of his seat. ‘Shit, Maggie! You scared the bloody hell out of me! The waitress will be back in a sec. I already have a coffee on the way. I didn’t think you’d be here so soon, or I would have got you one too.’

‘Oh, right. How would you have paid for it, if I had changed my mind about coming?’

‘Don’t be like that, sis. It’s good to see you.’

Maggie sat across from her brother and, despite her best efforts, her lip curled slightly into a smile.

‘It’s good to see you too, Andy. Though why is it you only call or come to see me when you’re in trouble?’

The waitress arrived at the table with Andy’s coffee and took Maggie’s order.

Maggie noticed the waitress had a pretty smile and watched her walk back towards the counter.

‘I see you still like the ladies then? Guess it wasn’t a phase after all?’

Maggie picked up a coaster and gripped it firmly.

‘Oh, I see. You’re still in denial? Nothing wrong with being a lesbian these days, you know.’

‘Watch your fucking mouth, Andy. I’m not a lesbian. I date men! When have you ever seen me with a woman? Don’t bloody label me. Not that it’s any of your business anyway.’

‘OK. OK. Calm down. So, you’re bisexual. What’s the big deal?’

‘I’ve had just about enough of your shit, Andy. Enough, already. And keep your fucking voice down, will you … What I do in my personal time is none of your business. Can we move on now? We’re not here to talk about me.’ Maggie glared at her brother.

Holding up his hands, Andy Jamieson admitted defeat. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was a sore subject and I didn’t come here to upset you. Is that Chopper case still getting to you? You seem a bit on edge. I’ve missed you, OK, and I thought if you knew that I understood about the … ladies … well, things could get back to normal with us.’

Maggie waved her hand dismissively. ‘So, what is it that you really want, Andy?’

‘I told you on the phone. I need a place to stay. My landlord evicted me, and I just need to get my head together and sort out where I go from here.’ He was fidgeting and playing with the corner of the tablecloth.

Maggie frowned.

‘Who do you owe money to?’

Andy had a gambling problem and their parents had washed their hands of him years before. Maggie had bailed him out a few times but knew this wasn’t something she could keep doing. He was her brother though, and she hated to think of what he’d do if things got desperate.

‘No one! Why do you always assume the worse of me?’

‘Erm … because I know you! Why would you get evicted if you were paying your rent? And why aren’t you paying your rent if you have no other debts? You’re still working, right?’

‘Yes, I’m still working – but I may have missed a few rent payments, OK? Seems my landlord is not the negotiating type.’

‘Here’s the deal then, Andy, and I mean this. You have four months. You need to be honest with me, but more importantly, with yourself. I’m guessing you’re back gambling and that has got to stop; I won’t be helping you out again. If you pressure me, you will find yourself out on the streets.’ Maggie knew she sounded harsh, but Andy pushed everyone to the limits and he had to know that this would be the last time.

They picked up a pizza on the way back to Maggie’s flat and over the next few hours, Andy had told his sister that he owed six-thousand pounds to a loan shark for a gambling debt. Maggie didn’t know whether to scream or cry. Every week that he missed a repayment, the debt went up. His job at the factory wouldn’t cover the repayments, but he assured Maggie that if she helped him out this one last time, he’d pay her back.