Danielle R. Graham - All We Left Behind

‘You are not eating the petit dejeuner ?’ Michel asked.

‘No. You can have it.’

He wiggled his eyebrows eagerly and reached over to grab the bun and cheese off my tray.

Conversation with Michel was welcomed but I missed Gordie already. It was strange to be in a dormitory full of soldiers and not have the big man right next to me. Gordie Calhoon, Frank Owens and I had all met on the first day of our eight weeks of Elementary Flying Training with the British Commonwealth Air Training Plan in Regina, Saskatchewan. We called our flight training The Plan for short, and it instructed us in basic aviation. Gordie was a grizzly bear of a fellow you would like to have on your side in a street fight. Frank was a hornet, who would likely get you messed up in the street fight in the first place. The three of us became instant pals and sat next to each other during classroom lessons and at meals in the mess hall.

The first week we were at The Plan, their wives sent baked goods that made me miss home something fierce.

‘You want one?’ Frank had asked.

‘Sure,’ I said, and reached to take a shortbread biscuit.

‘His wife can’t bake worth stink. You should probably stick to my wife’s ginger snaps,’ Gordie teased Frank and held out the tin to share with me.

‘I’ll try them both and decide which is better for myself.’ I bit into each cookie and grinned. ‘I think I’ll need to try some more before I can make my final decision.’

‘No way. One’s all you’re getting unless you cough up something in exchange.’ Gordie leaned back on his bunk and ate another cookie.

‘I only received a letter from my sister.’

Gordie stole the letter, but we were interrupted when the chief ground instructor, who was the equivalent to a headmaster at a boarding school, marched into the bunkhouse, barking commands for an inspection. We all jumped to our feet and stored the letters and cookies out of sight.

‘Hayden, pal, have you seen my cap?’

‘It’s on your head, Frank.’

‘Right.’ He grinned and loped over to the end of his bunk. We all stood tall with our chests forward as the officer poked around and made us fix things that weren’t up to scratch. I didn’t have any corrections because I was a quick learner when it came to things like that.

‘What does your sister look like?’ Gordie asked me once the inspection was over and we were lounged on our bunks again. He had read her letter for a second time. ‘She seems smart. I’m particularly fond of clever gals. If she’s a looker, I might want to take her out on the town sometime.’

‘You’re married,’ I reminded him.

‘Yeah, yeah, do you have a photo or not?’

I handed over a picture of Rosalyn and me standing at Bennett Bay.

‘Sweet Jesus! Is she single?’

‘Never mind.’ I threw a rolled sock at him. ‘She probably wouldn’t take very kindly to you being married anyway.’

‘Hey everybody! Come take a look at Pierce’s sister.’

The boys all gathered around and whistled. I leaned over and snatched the photo back from Gordie. ‘Keep dreaming, fellas.’

‘Do you have a photo of your sweetheart, too?’ Frank asked me.

‘I’m not showing you that. Go drool over the picture of your own wife.’

‘She ain’t nothing to drool at,’ Gordie joked, which made Frank jump over the bunk and wrench Gordie into a headlock. Gordie was nearly twice the size of Frank, so he messed with him like he was playing with his kid brother.

We laughed a lot in those early days. Unfortunately, it didn’t last.

Regina was not the biggest city, but it got pretty rowdy at night because there were so many recruits. One Saturday night, we were all excited for an evening off and a bunch of us crammed into a borrowed car to go to a local dance hall in town. The party was packed with men in uniform and a whole score of ladies drinking and dancing to a big band orchestra. We sat down at a table and Gordie ordered three beers. Frank took his bottle of O’Keefe with him and went off to ask a gal to dance.

‘So, where in BC are you from, Pierce?’ Gordie asked.

‘Mayne Island. It’s just off the coast between Vancouver and Victoria. How about you? What part of Manitoba are you from?’

‘Winnipeg, but I’ve been living here in Regina on and off for a while because I played football professionally.’

‘Oh, well, la-dee-da. I didn’t know I was in the company of a celebrity.’

‘I ain’t no movie star, but stick with me, kid, and the ladies will treat you real nice.’

Just as he had said that, two young women in tight sweaters walked up to our table and stood with their elbows resting on either side of Gordie’s broad shoulders. One was a freckled redhead, and the other had blond hair wrapped in a braided bun at the base of her neck. ‘Hi there, Gordie. Who’s your handsome friend?’ Her hand slid over my arm.

‘This, ladies, is Hayden Pierce. And word on the street is that this cat is a smooth dancer.’

I shook my head to deny it and my cheeks heated up.

‘Oh, he’s a sweet one,’ the blond one said and held out her hand to shake mine. ‘I’m Isabel. Nice to meet you.’

I nodded, then shook the other woman’s hand.

‘I’m Bernice.’ I stared for too long because her eyes were golden-brown like a fawn’s and her lashes were long enough to nearly touch her cheek when she blinked. They were both from Regina, which is why they already knew Gordie. And they were working with the Canadian Forces on electronics and instrument assembly, so they knew more about what we could expect from our training than we did. ‘Would you care to dance, Hayden?’ Bernice asked after we had chatted for a while.

I was thrown off by a gal so bold as to ask a fellow to dance. ‘Oh, thank you, but my heart belongs to someone else.’

All three of them laughed at my naiveté.

‘Honey, nearly everyone here has a fiancé, a spouse, or a sweetheart back home. It’s just dancing.’

‘Go ahead, kid.’ Gordie pushed my shoulder to make me fall off the stool. ‘Show’em how it’s done on the west coast.’

Bernice bounced over and pulled my hand to drag me out onto the dance floor. She pleaded with those big brown eyes and, since the band was playing a song I liked, I caved in and placed my hand on her waist to start to swing with her. She was a swell dancer and she smelled of soap mixed with vanilla extract, which was a welcome change from a barrack full of men. I relaxed after about three songs and Bernice said, ‘Ah, there it is. A little smile. You look even more handsome when you smile.’ She jitterbugged around in a circle by herself before grabbing both my hands to make me swing with her again. I was having a dandy time until she leaned in and shouted over the music, ‘So, where is your sweetheart at?’

The reminder filled me with instant and aching guilt. I stopped dancing abruptly, excused myself, and walked off the dance floor, leaving Bernice behind.

Gordie was still talking to Isabel at the table, but he sent her away when I sat down, visibly downtrodden. ‘What’s wrong, pal?’ he asked.

‘Nothing.’

He slapped my shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, being away from home gets easier with time. Do you have a picture of the girl you’re sweet on?’

I reached into the chest pocket of my serge and pulled out Chidori’s picture. He frowned at it for a moment, then gave it back to me. I tucked it away, leaned my elbows on the table to hang my head, and sighed.

‘You fell in love with a Jap?’

His judgemental tone, my longing to go home, and my bitter resentment over what had happened to Chidori all collided and provoked me to irrationally erupt. Without even thinking, I stood and punched Gordie in the jaw as hard as I could, which knocked him backwards off the stool. He sprawled across the floor and his lights were out for a second before he recovered. A crowd inched closer, keen to see what was going to happen next. Already committed to what I had impetuously started, I prepared my stance for him to charge at me in retaliation. He didn’t, thankfully, since he was bigger and stronger than I was. He stood, righted the stool and took a swig from his ale. ‘Nice shot, Pierce. Most fellas can’t knock me out.’