Mabel Maney - A Ghost In The Closet

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“The Funniest Damn titles in gay Fiction” – InstinctWith their fearless crime-fighting, good manners, and manly fashion sense, the Hardly boys are the pride of Feyport, Illinois. In A Ghost in the Closet, dark-haired, muscular Frank and his lovable kid brother Joe return from a gay trip to Europe to find that their parents—world-famous detective Fennel P. Hardly and his wife, Mrs. Hardly—have been kidnapped! Even worse, so have six poodles from the Lake Merrimen Dog Show. Pals Nancy Clue, Cherry Aimless, R.N., and Police Detective Jackie Jones help the Hardly boys track down the criminals—and in the meantime, pick up useful tips on fingerprinting, evidence retrieval, and the laundering of sporty twill slacks.Like her beloved camp classics The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend, Mabel Maney’s A Ghost in the Closet brilliantly parodies 1950s boys’ and girls’ adventure series. Pull on a casual rayon shirt and join the queer caper!From the author of The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend.

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“That dress certainly suits you,” Jackie said as she pulled the car into a spot outside the gay-looking supper club. “But then again, I’ve never seen you in anything that didn’t,” she admitted as she cut the engine, slid her arm behind Cherry and flicked up the lock on the door.

A funny feeling stirred in Cherry as she breathed in deeply, reveling in Jackie’s scent, a combination of soap and Aqua Velva. Cherry had never seen Jackie so handsome as she was tonight in her dapper dark lightweight wool suit with its boxy jacket that draped her strong frame beautifully, and its pleated, cuffed trousers pressed to perfection. “I could cut my finger on that sharp crease of her trousers,” Cherry thought. She blushed when she realized she was staring at Jackie’s thigh.

“Are you ready?” Jackie murmured softly. She gave Cherry’s gloved hand a little squeeze. Cherry couldn’t help but blush again as she felt Jackie’s eyes sweep over her curvy figure, starting with her creamy white shoulders and working down to her womanly hips.

“Ready for what?” Cherry cried in alarm.

Jackie grinned. “Dinner,” she said.

Although Cherry had doubted she could consume even one morsel while wearing that snug dress, twenty minutes later she had managed to drink two glasses of sparkling champagne and nibble on some scrumptious canapés. While Jackie ordered a delectable meal, Cherry looked with wide-eyed wonder around the Macambo Room, exclaiming over the soft sapphire blue walls, blue and white draperies and white marble dance floor. “This place is heaven!” she exclaimed as she watched happy couples glide across the room to the gay tunes of the Phil Bolero Orchestra. “And I love these white leather settees; they’re so neighborly!” she cried as she boldly scooted closer to Jackie, who smiled and ordered another bottle of champagne.

“Oh, two’s my limit!” Cherry protested when the bottle was brought to the table. “Well, maybe three,” she giggled. She patted her ruby red lips with her napkin before taking a sip of her champagne to prevent an unaesthetic smudge on the fine glassware. She paused when she realized Jackie was staring at her every move.

“You’re such a girl,” Jackie admired her happily.

Cherry blushed. “I have my mother to thank for that,” she acknowledged.

“I’ll send her a thank-you note in the morning,” Jackie grinned as she refilled their glasses. Cherry smiled. Not only was Jackie the handsomest girl she had ever seen, she was so mannerly! Cherry began to relax, and soon the girls were talking and laughing like old friends.

Their scrumptious supper was served, but neither girl had much of an appetite. Cherry forced herself to taste the yummy food, but found it difficult to swallow. Her mouth was dry, there were butterflies in her stomach, and her knees were shaking so badly it took all her concentration to walk to the ladies’ lounge when she felt the urge to powder her nose. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world!

“I could stay here forever,” Cherry sighed when she rejoined her date. As she slipped into the settee, she slid even closer. Before she knew it, Jackie had put her arm around her, and Cherry let it stay there.

“Let’s come here every night,” Cherry said in a gay tone, knowing all too well that their days together might be numbered. Would Jackie run out of vacation time before Cherry made up her mind?

“I’ll reserve this very table,” Jackie played along.

“And we’ll have champagne with every meal,” Cherry cried as she downed her drink. It was her fifth glass of champagne, but she didn’t care. For tonight, she was more than simply level-headed Cherry Aimless, Registered Nurse. She was Cherry Aimless, Registered Nurse, headed for love!

—— CHAPTER 10 ——

Girl Trouble!

A Ghost In The Closet - изображение 17

“Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.” Nancy had brushed her trademark titian mane until it shone, but it did no good. She threw the silver-backed brush across her dressing table, knocking over some expensive perfume in the process, but Nancy didn’t care. The only thing she did care about—an attractive dark-haired nurse with a bubbly nature and a ready smile—had been gone now for five hours, and might never be coming back!

“I musn’t dwell on those two,” Nancy told herself as she slipped into her luscious pale pink shantung silk pajamas and tied a pert bow around her hair. “It’s already midnight, and I’ve simply got to get some sleep so I will look my best tomorrow.” She knew she’d have to act fast to regain the advantage in the contest for Cherry’s hand.

“But what shall I do, Gogo?” she asked the little terrier who was curled up in her usual place. Nancy felt a stab of pity as she remembered the terrified expressions on the faces of the kidnapped poodles when they popped out of the trunk. “I should really call Chief O’Malley at the Lake Merrimen Police Department and offer my services, seeing as how I’m so good at solving cases like these,” Nancy thought guiltily. “But going off on a case will mean leaving Cherry and Jackie alone, and I can’t afford to do that!” she quickly reminded herself.

Nancy sighed as she threw back her snowy white chenille bedspread, slipped under the covers and turned off the small bedside lamp. Midge and Velma had gone to bed the second supper was over, so Nancy had spent the evening helping Hannah sew side darts in some new cotton blouses. As the hours dragged by, Nancy knew Cherry and Jackie’s dinner date must have turned into something more!

Tortured by the thought of those two together, she tossed and turned, finally falling into a uneasy sleep. She awoke to the unmistakable sound of George’s old jalopy pulling into the drive. Nancy slipped out of bed and raced over to the window. Golly, Jackie and Cherry had finally returned!

She watched with bated breath as Jackie helped Cherry from the car and escorted her to the front porch. She could hear hushed giggles as the two girls crept in the house. Nancy waited for the sound of footsteps on the landing, and when none came she threw on her quilted housecoat and fuzzy slippers and snuck down the stairs. “Where could they be?” she wondered as she peeked over the banister into the empty living room. She pulled her robe tight and crept into the kitchen.

The squeak of the porch swing and more laugher reached her ears. Nancy checked the kitchen clock and was surprised to find it was three in the morning! “Why, it’s positively indecent to stay up this late,” she thought as she blinked back tears. She crept closer to the back door, taking care to keep in the shadows. Although she couldn’t make out what they were saying, the way Cherry was sitting, practically in Jackie’s lap with her face turned up in rapt adoration, told Nancy that she’d better do something fast!

Nancy raced to the study and shut the door, then picked up the telephone and spoke urgently into the receiver. “Operator, please connect me with the Hardly estate in nearby Feyport—and fast!”

Her chums Joe and Frank Hardly had just returned from their European vacation. “I was going to give them a few days to shake the wrinkles from their travel clothes and get their land legs back, but this is a genuine emergency!” Nancy thought.

She tapped her fingers nervously on the mahogany desk while she waited for her connection to be put through. “I’ll ask Frank and Joe to luncheon tomorrow to meet the gang,” she schemed. “I’ll serve Joe’s favorite cheese-and-egg pie and wilted leaf lettuce salad, then I’ll ask Frank to step outside to the garden, and once there, ask him what to do about this romantic dilemma. I’ll wear my new sunflower yellow pique sunsheath—Frank’s sure to appreciate the careful detailing, especially the embroidered collar—”

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