Mabel Maney - A Ghost In The Closet

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“The Funniest Damn titles in gay Fiction” – InstinctWith their fearless crime-fighting, good manners, and manly fashion sense, the Hardly boys are the pride of Feyport, Illinois. In A Ghost in the Closet, dark-haired, muscular Frank and his lovable kid brother Joe return from a gay trip to Europe to find that their parents—world-famous detective Fennel P. Hardly and his wife, Mrs. Hardly—have been kidnapped! Even worse, so have six poodles from the Lake Merrimen Dog Show. Pals Nancy Clue, Cherry Aimless, R.N., and Police Detective Jackie Jones help the Hardly boys track down the criminals—and in the meantime, pick up useful tips on fingerprinting, evidence retrieval, and the laundering of sporty twill slacks.Like her beloved camp classics The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend, Mabel Maney’s A Ghost in the Closet brilliantly parodies 1950s boys’ and girls’ adventure series. Pull on a casual rayon shirt and join the queer caper!From the author of The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend.

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“What’s that peculiar odor?” Cherry heard people cry when they smelled the aromatic sleuth. But Nancy didn’t seem at all concerned by the commotion she was causing as she pushed through the crowd, craning her neck in search of their suspect and waving her arms about.

“Nancy’s so brave,” Cherry thought, her bosom swelling with pride at the sight of the flailing detective.

A shrill yip suddenly caught their attention. “Was that a poodle, Midge?” Nancy asked her chum.

Midge shook her head and pointed toward a small cage being wheeled by an elderly gentleman. Inside was a tan and white chihuahua perched on a purple velvet pillow fringed by gay green pom-poms. “A poodle’s yap is higher and shriller,” Midge explained.

Just then a coon hound threw back his head and started to howl. Soon all the dogs in the room were barking and howling, whining and whoofing. Nancy led her chums back to the hallway, and once there, explained her scheme.

“I deliberately sprayed myself with Mrs. Meeks’ potent perfume hoping to gain the attention of her poodle Precious. Midge, didn’t you say earlier that a dog’s sense of smell is three hundred times stronger than that of a human’s? I was so hoping that Precious would recognize this odor and bark.”

Cherry gasped. Nancy’s keen logic never ceased to amaze her!

“But in that din, we’ll never recognize Precious’ bark,” Nancy continued. “I’m going back to the Poodle Room to search for clues. Midge, you search the Police Dog Room, Cherry, you check out the Saint Bernard Rescue Trials and Velma, search over there by the dancing terriers,” she directed.

But before the girls could split up, Midge spied a tall, thin man wearing a dark trenchcoat, not ten feet from her. He was pulling a large black trunk with one hand and had an umbrella tucked under the other arm.

“There he is!” Midge cried to her friends. “Hey, you! Stop!” she yelled, taking off after him. At the sight of the girl, the man’s face blanched in fright, and he took off down the long corridor; the heavy trunk rocked to and fro as he rudely pushed past people, striking some of them in the legs.

Cherry was thankful that she had had the foresight to include in her first-aid kit sterile bandages and germicidal ointment for the scraped shins of surprised spectators.

Midge leapt over an enormous Irish wolfhound in an effort to catch the suspect, who, despite his heavy burden, was slipping away. He would have disappeared around the next corner had he not become entangled in the leash of a miniature smooth-coated dachshund who had unwittingly blocked his path.

“Curses!” the man cried, dropping the black trunk as he struggled to free himself. Just as Midge was closing in on him, he glared at her with a fierce mocking gaze, opened his umbrella over his head and—poof! In the wink of an eye, the man disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke!

Cherry gaped at the spot where the man, just moments before, had stood. “Why, he’s gone!” she shrieked. “The trunk is moving!” Cherry then cried. The trunk was indeed bumping about on the slick tile floor, seemingly of its own volition!

Midge, her wits still intact, raced over to the trunk but found it locked. Using Velma’s nail file, she was soon able to break the lock and fling open the lid. Midge grinned with glee when six nervous poodles in various stages of disarray hopped out and covered her face with little wet kisses. The crowd gave a happy sigh of relief when they saw the missing pups. True, two poodles’ topknots had been tangled beyond ready repair, and Mrs. Meeks’ Precious would surely benefit from a good bath—and quick—but on the whole, the six missing dogs seemed to be in fine fettle.

“Frank Hardly’s saved the dogs!” the crowd cried. “Hip, hip hooray!”

—— CHAPTER 4 ——

Thwarted!

Despite our queer encounter with that devious dognapper all in all Id say - фото 11

“Despite our queer encounter with that devious dognapper, all in all I’d say it’s been a lovely day,” Cherry exclaimed as she slipped off her ballerina flats and stretched out on the wide back seat of Nancy’s snappy canary-yellow convertible. It was a soft summer night and the little group was as happy as could be. Nancy and Cherry were contentedly curled up in the back seat while Midge was behind the wheel, expertly steering the automobile down the country lane leading to River Depths. She had one arm around Velma, who was humming a gay tune.

The girls had made quite a day of it; first the Dog Show and the exciting rescue of the purloined poodles, then a leisurely supper at a quaint restaurant overlooking the lake, and to top it off, a romantic movie at the Royale followed by scrumptious chocolate sodas at an inexpensive but clean corner drugstore.

Midge grinned. She had a crisp new fifty-dollar bill in her wallet—her reward for returning Mrs. Meeks’ diamond dog collar—and her girl by her side.

“It’s been a great night, hasn’t it?” Velma sighed contentedly as she snuggled closer to Midge.

“Sure has,” Midge replied. That evening had been fun, but their earlier experience at the Dog Show had left her feeling uneasy. Who could relax knowing innocent dogs all over town were in danger of being snatched? “If only we could have caught that fellow,” Midge thought to herself. “Nancy, do you think—” but she stopped when she realized no one in the back seat was listening. Cherry and Nancy appeared to be lost in their own world, one of summer evenings spent round a windswept lake.

“Lake Merrimen is certainly one of the loveliest bodies of water I’ve ever seen,” Cherry chirped happily, recalling the sight of the large, limpid lake ringed by giant paper birches, the best-loved tree in America. As dusk fell, the inky black water reflected the starry skies and the creamy white bark of the tall, elegant trees shimmered in the moonlight. Cherry made a mental note to write a letter that very night to her nurse chums back in Seattle describing the high white clouds, deep blue water, boats and passengers in bright summer clothing that dotted the calm surface of the crystal-clear lake.

Cherry, an Idaho girl, secretly wondered what it would be like to be a Lake Resort Nurse and spend her summers cautioning vacationers about the dangers of sunstroke, or to be a Prairie Nurse in a nifty tan uniform warning people about the hazards of grass allergies. Either job, Cherry knew, would be a challenge!

“Why, I could be happy being an Illinois Nurse,” she suddenly realized. She snuck a peek at Nancy, who was leaning on the door of the car, her titian-haired mane blowing in the warm breeze. Her eyes were shut, but Cherry could tell by the contented expression on her face that she was having the very same thought!

“Golly,” Cherry gulped. All day long, she had wished Jackie was with them, but now she couldn’t get over how lovely Nancy looked in the warm glow of the midsummer moon. Suddenly the tender feelings she had once had for Nancy came flooding back.

Just then Nancy opened her eyes and gave Cherry a winsome smile. “Lake Merrimen is everything I said it would be, isn’t it?” Nancy asked softly.

“It certainly is,” Cherry enthused. “Imagine seeing for myself a Midwestern lake whose water is purported to cure chicken pox and halitosis,” she cried.

“Next visit, we’ll use my boat, the Swift Sleuth , and I’ll take you to the spire of rock that juts up from the middle of the lake. It’s called Treasure Island,” Nancy promised with a twinkle in her eye.

“Now I know firsthand why they call this part of the country America’s Playland,” Cherry chirped. “Why, a girl could spend years exploring all its natural wonders!”

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