Mabel Maney - A Ghost In The Closet

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“The Funniest Damn titles in gay Fiction” – InstinctWith their fearless crime-fighting, good manners, and manly fashion sense, the Hardly boys are the pride of Feyport, Illinois. In A Ghost in the Closet, dark-haired, muscular Frank and his lovable kid brother Joe return from a gay trip to Europe to find that their parents—world-famous detective Fennel P. Hardly and his wife, Mrs. Hardly—have been kidnapped! Even worse, so have six poodles from the Lake Merrimen Dog Show. Pals Nancy Clue, Cherry Aimless, R.N., and Police Detective Jackie Jones help the Hardly boys track down the criminals—and in the meantime, pick up useful tips on fingerprinting, evidence retrieval, and the laundering of sporty twill slacks.Like her beloved camp classics The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend, Mabel Maney’s A Ghost in the Closet brilliantly parodies 1950s boys’ and girls’ adventure series. Pull on a casual rayon shirt and join the queer caper!From the author of The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse and The Case of the Good-For-Nothing Girlfriend.

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“To love, honor and obey?” Midge answered slyly.

Velma frowned. She put her hands on her curvy hips and mustered her best glare. “You promised not to interfere with other people’s love lives,” she reminded her.

Midge arched one brow and leaned against a shelf. “Don’t get that tone of voice with me, Miss Velma Pierce,” she grumbled. They had all been up late socializing, and Midge was in no mood for a fight, let alone a picnic! All Midge was doing was helping out a buddy, and if Velma didn’t see how truly made for each other Jackie and Cherry were, well—

“Exactly what tone is that ?” Velma demanded to know, her green eyes ablaze with anger.

“That I’m-right-and-you-know-it tone!” Midge snapped back.

Velma stood on tiptoe, put her arms around Midge’s neck and pulled her close. “Let’s not fight, honey,” she whispered as she planted little kisses on her girlfriend’s neck. Midge moaned and snuggled close.

“You spend entirely too much time thinking about Cherry and Nancy and Jackie,” Velma chided her, adding, with a smile, “when you could be thinking about me.”

“I’m glad we’re an old married couple,” Midge smiled. She gave Velma a soft, slow kiss and ran her hands up and down her curvy figure.

Midge unzipped Velma’s summer frock and caressed her smooth back. Velma blushed as Midge pulled down the top of her dress to reveal her soft shoulders and bountiful bosom. “What if someone comes in here?” Velma moaned as she let her frock slide to the floor, standing unclothed except for a nylon half slip and a cream-colored lacy bra.

Midge kicked the door shut. The latch clicked into place. She dropped to her knees, pushed up Velma’s slip and began mouthing the soft flesh of Velma’s inner thighs. “I think of you all the time, Velma,” she sighed. “Some days it’s all I can do to walk and talk in your presence,” she laughed ruefully as she slowly pulled down Velma’s panties. A minute later Velma forgot all about their angry exchange.

There was a timid knock at the door.

“Velma, Midge, are you in there? We’re ready to leave.” It was Cherry and she was sounding frankly frazzled.

“Woyhl ae hrfg ix a mutnim,” Midge cried, her voice all muffled.

“What?” Cherry cried. “Midge, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”

“We’ll be out in a minute,” Midge repeated. She waited for the sound of receding footsteps, but none came.

“Why don’t you go ahead and we’ll catch up,” Velma suggested.

“But you don’t know where we’re going,” Cherry was quick to point out.

“Leave us a map!” Midge moaned.

“Oh, if you only knew what was going on out here!” Cherry cried, sounding on the edge of hysteria. “George’s jalopy won’t start and Jackie says she’s not riding in Nancy’s car with just the three of us, so if you don’t go, Jackie won’t go, and I’m not sure I really want to be alone with Nancy, and if you don’t go and Jackie doesn’t go and I don’t go, Nancy will have to go alone and she’ll be awfully disappointed and besides, we’ve got a whole hamper of food that will spoil! I know you two are busy smooching in there but could you please come out right now! ” she pleaded with all her might.

Midge groaned. “The next time I stick my nose in other people’s romances will you please remind me of this moment?” she begged her girlfriend as she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and got to her feet.

Velma slipped into her panties. There was nothing she needed to say. This time, Midge had learned her lesson for sure!

—— CHAPTER 7 ——

A Surefire Scheme

A Ghost In The Closet - изображение 14

Big rain drops splashed down on the girls as they motored ahead in Nancy’s shiny craft, the Swift Sleuth , through the white-capped waters of Lake Merrimen toward the rocky spire jutting out of the middle of the deep lake. The small island was only twenty feet in diameter, but afforded visitors a clear panorama of the full splendor of the lake. Nancy was eager to show Cherry every bit of the lovely landscape, knowing how the girl adored nature and all its breathtaking views.

“Drat!” Nancy cried aloud. “I can’t believe we’ve hit bad weather. Just an hour ago, the sky was clear and the clouds were big and white and puffy. Why, there wasn’t a nimbostratus for miles!” They had missed their chance to boat in calm waters all because they couldn’t agree on the seating arrangement in the car!

“How disappointing,” Nancy wailed. “This day is not turning out at all the way I had planned!”

Cherry covered her hairdo with a portable rain bonnet, and Midge constructed a hasty umbrella for Velma from that day’s newspaper. “Shouldn’t we turn back?” Jackie wondered when she realized Cherry was beginning to shiver.

“We’re almost there,” Nancy insisted as she tied her chiffon scarf tighter around her hair, and put on some speed. She handed her binoculars to Cherry and said, “Take a look. Isn’t it a charming little island?”

Cherry peered at the rocky mound. “Nancy, now that we’re closer, I can see that those buoys surrounding Treasure Island are covered with signs,” Cherry noticed. “ Keep Out By Order of Judge Meeks ,” she read. Just then, the boat was hit with a rush of cold air—a sure sign that a thunderstorm was not far off!

“We really should go back,” Cherry urged. “Storms are the most dangerous of all weather phenomena, and a small boat in choppy water is no place for five girls in lightweight summer clothes!”

After a flash of lightning to the west, Nancy began counting. “One-thousand-and-one, one-thousand-and-two, one-thousand-and—” but before she could go any further, they heard a clap of thunder. “Light travels at about one hundred eighty-six thousand miles per second and sound at about one thousand one hundred feet per second,” Nancy figured aloud. “So if I’m calculating correctly, this storm is less than a mile away!” She quickly turned the craft around and sped for shore.

Nancy kept the boat on an even keel and they made it to the dock just as mighty bolts of lightning began striking down on the lake.

“To the car,” Cherry cried, knowing that the metal body would shield them from danger. They hopped inside Nancy’s convertible and put up the top just as it began to rain in earnest.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Nancy grumbled as she used her hankie to dry her new cotton navy dotted-swiss culottes, which showed off her blue eyes to their best advantage. In her white straw purse was her yellow polished cotton swimsuit with its built-in panty and bra, but it would see no wear today. “Another chance for romance ruined; another outfit mussed beyond repair!” she thought in distress.

Nancy had to blink fast to keep hot tears from spilling down her cheeks. Luckily she was wearing her new smart Caribbean-style sunglasses with dark green lenses that hid her teary eyes.

Nancy started the car and headed for home. That afternoon had been a disaster, romantically speaking, but the day wasn’t over! She schemed as she steered the car over the damp streets, occasionally glancing in the rear view mirror, which gave her an excellent view of the back seat. Somehow, in their mad scramble to get to safety, Jackie and Cherry had ended up alone in the back seat! Nancy almost ran off the road when she saw Jackie lean over and whisper something in Cherry’s ear.

“Oops!” Nancy cried as she hurriedly straightened the wheel. “I must have hit a wet patch,” she explained. She gripped the wheel and made herself concentrate on the road ahead. “As soon as I get Cherry alone, I’ll ask her to spend the evening with me. I just know if I can get her away from Jackie long enough, I can make her fall for me again!”

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