Derek Landy - Armageddon Outta Here - The World of Skulduggery Pleasant

“Try your little tricks now ,” he snarled, his foul breath hot on her cheek.

Blood pulsed through her temples. Her lungs burned, and although her struggles were getting more frantic, she could feel herself growing weaker.

Spittle dripped from Liam’s lips on to her face. Her muscles ached and her body was tired, and darkness seeped into her vision. She couldn’t hear anything over the beating of her own heart.

Liam was kneeling on her left hand. His right knee was pressed into her belly, leaving her legs to kick uselessly behind him.

She brought her legs in, bent them, the soles of her boots flat to the ground. With the last ounce of her strength, Valkyrie lifted her backside off the church floor. Liam lurched forward a little and laughed.

“Think that’ll do it? I’ve tamed wild horses, little girl, and they buck a lot harder than you.”

Valkyrie took her right foot off the ground. She could feel the air on her face, on her hands, on her exposed skin. Now she struggled to feel the air through her boot. It was possible. She knew it was.

And as her consciousness ebbed, she thought she felt it, a slight resistance, and that’s all she needed. She stepped on the air and it shimmered, and Valkyrie’s body flipped over backwards, and the goblin screeched as he was catapulted away.

Valkyrie landed on her belly and gasped, sucked in breath hungrily. Tears had sprung to her eyes and she wiped them away, in time to see Skulduggery reach out a hand. A large piece of rubble lifted off the ground. Skulduggery made circular motions and the piece of rubble started to move. Faster and faster it went, in an ever-increasing circle.

The piece of rubble slammed into Peg’s jaw and before she could even growl, it had made its way around and slammed into her jaw again. It struck her repeatedly until Skulduggery’s hand stiffened, and the piece of rubble hurtled into Peg’s face and shattered.

Peg fell back to a sitting position. She held a huge hand to the side of her face and moaned.

Valkyrie stood, and saw Liam. He was on his feet and sneaking towards the babies.

She ran at him and he snarled. She ducked under a punch and he twisted to get at her again. His fist swung and she blocked but her block wasn’t strong enough, and his knuckles hit the side of her face and she staggered. He grinned and she smacked him, and goblin blood, the colour of mucus, sprayed from his lip.

In the middle of the church, Peg had Skulduggery wrapped up in a bear hug. He was trying to hit her with a section of a broken pew.

Liam ran at Valkyrie, yelling out a war cry. She clicked her fingers and he stopped and cowered, expecting the fireball. But instead she moved in, stiffened the fingers of her other hand and jabbed into his neck. His head swung around, offering up the perfect target. Her elbow connected with the hinge of his jaw, and Liam the goblin crumpled to the ground.

“You don’t really love me,” she heard Skulduggery say.

Peg was sitting against a wall, Skulduggery standing over her, the remains of the broken pew in his hands.

“I’m flattered,” he continued, “really I am. I’m sure you’re a lovely girl.”

Peg moaned.

“But the truth is, we don’t know each other. Not really. I don’t know what your favourite song is, or what flower you like most, or what you like to do on long summer evenings. And what do you really know about me?”

“I uv oo, Skuluggy.”

“No, you don’t, Peg. This isn’t real love. This isn’t true love. You deserve someone who can give you true love.”

“Oo?”

“No, not me.”

“Moh.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Peg sniffled.

“He’s out there, you know. Your Mister Right. And I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

She looked up. “Eally?”

“Really. You just have to find him.”

Peg nodded, then nodded again, with renewed determination. Skulduggery stepped back as she stood up and brushed some of the dust off her wedding dress.

“Stay away from your brothers, OK? They’re not a very good influence on you.”

She nodded, and marched for the church door. Before she stepped out, she stopped, and looked back tearfully. “I awah ink awoo, Skuluggy.”

“And I’ll always think of you, too,” Skulduggery replied.

And then Peg was gone.

Valkyrie stood beside Skulduggery. “Anything you want to tell me?”

“No,” he said. “Not really. Are all the babies safe?”

“Safe and unharmed. Their folks will be glad to have them back. Are you sure there’s nothing you want to tell me? To share?”

“Relatively positive, yes.”

“She seems nice. Peg, I mean.”

He looked at her. “It’s going to take you a while to stop teasing me about this, isn’t it?”

She grinned. “Oh, yes.”

He sighed. “Then you may as well get started.”

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