Grace Timothy - Lost in Motherhood

This buoyed me. Rich and I agreed to dine out as soon as the baby arrived. None of this ‘baby bubble’, lying around in pyjamas for weeks on end, watching Lorraine . We’d get out there, get amongst it. We wouldn’t have a single takeaway or frozen ready meal, and we would not get a microwave. Our new house would be a party house, always full of guests. We’d simply be US with a plus one.

To prove just how unchanged I was, I got dolled up and went to the GLAMOUR Women of the Year Awards.

‘You don’t have to come,’ my boss explained. ‘We totally get that all the standing around and the late night might be too much.’

‘No, no, I’ll be there!’ I said, perhaps too enthusiastically.

I could still party, get my hair done, wear a dress that wasn’t even from the maternity-tent section. Well, until 9pm, when the caterers cleared the plates, forcing me to stop minesweeping the leftover canapés, and I got a bit weepy in the queue for the toilets. As I was helped into a cab, I felt tired, a bit sick and very, VERY pregnant.

*Although, to be fair, I think we’re reclaiming that one with the ubiquitous topknot and young people seem to love those. The rattier the better. So maybe we can still turn this one around.

†I mean, I actually met the OXO Mum. I met her! She also played my dad’s wife on TV. And to be totally honest off-screen I didn’t even know she had kids. She had a filthy laugh, a killer body and lots of mascara on. Everybody stared at her, she was magnetic.

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