Susan Mallery - Finding Perfect

He crouched in front of her. “I wanted to talk to Crystal, but I didn’t know what to say. I knew her husband all of two weeks and I was there when he died. Would that have comforted her?”

She felt his pain and lightly touched his shoulder. “The man she loved had died. I don’t think there was any comfort to be had.”

“I wondered if I’d taken the easy way out. I didn’t want to intrude or get involved.” He smiled faintly. “Now you’re responsible for Keith and Crystal’s babies.”

“Don’t remind me.”

He returned to his chair and stared at her. “You okay?”

“Trying to recover from the latest bombshell.” She winced. “Sorry. Bad word choice. Hearing that you knew Keith, that you were there when he died, feels oddly cosmic. Like the universe wants to make sure I have these babies.”

“You’re reading too much into it.”

“Am I? Don’t you think it’s just a little strange that we’re even having this conversation?”

“No. I moved to town because I met Keith. If he hadn’t been assigned to me, I never would have agreed to do the golf tournament and I wouldn’t be here, having this conversation with you.”

He made sense, but Pia still felt as if she was being pushed into a decision she wasn’t ready to make.

There was so much on the line. The three embryos meant she could have triplets. That was three babies. She had a tiny apartment. How could they all fit?

She grasped the water and held on as if the act of squeezing would prevent her from slipping over the edge. But after hearing about Raoul and Keith, even questioning the act of having the children seemed monumentally selfish.

“You don’t have to decide today,” he reminded her. “Or even this year.”

“I suppose. When I start to freak, I tell myself that I’m focusing on the wrong thing. This isn’t about me. It’s about Crystal and Keith and their children. Who am I to question whether or not I should have their children? Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Shouldn’t I already be on the hormones, buying cribs and reading that Expecting book everyone says is so great? If I was a good person, I wouldn’t be hesitating.”

Raoul stared into Pia’s hazel eyes, amazed by the kaleidoscope of emotions. She was possibly one of the most honest people he’d ever met. Crazy, but honest. Appealing, as well, but thinking she was hot wasn’t exactly appropriate.

Slowly, he took the water from her hands and set it on the table. Then he pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s okay,” he told her.

She stood rigid in his embrace. “No, it’s not.”

He continued to hold on, moving one hand up and down her spine, enjoying the feel of her body next to his. Not that he was going to do anything about it. “Take a deep breath. In and out. Come on. Breathe.”

She did as he requested. A little of the tension eased out of her.

He couldn’t begin to imagine what she was going through. He was thrown by the fact that he’d known Crystal’s husband. For her, the connection was a thousand times more powerful.

Moving his hands to her shoulders, he stepped back far enough to see her face.

“You’re not a bad person,” he said firmly. “A bad person would walk away from the embryos without a second thought. As to taking your time to make the decision, why wouldn’t you? Having Crystal’s babies will change everything about your life. You’re allowed to have a plan.”

“But she’s my friend. I should…”

He shook his head. “No. Crystal didn’t give you a head’s up. This was dumped on you, Pia. Give yourself a break.”

She drew in another breath. “Okay. Maybe.”

Her eyes were large and filled with concern. Her mouth trembled. There was something vulnerable about her. Part of him wondered why Crystal hadn’t warned Pia in advance. Had it been the other woman’s advancing illness or something else? Had she not wanted to give Pia a choice?

Instead of finding an answer, he became aware of them standing very close together. He could feel the warmth of her body, the delicate bones under his fingers. She was tall but still had to look up to meet his gaze. Her curls brushed the backs of his hands. Her lips parted slightly, which made him want to lean in and—

He moved back with the speed that had gotten him signed by the Cowboys, then carefully tucked his hands into his jeans pockets.

Where the hell had that thought come from? Pia wasn’t for kissing. No one here was. He planned to live in Fool’s Gold for a long time. If he wanted entertainment, he would take it somewhere else. Not here. Besides, since Caro, he hadn’t been interested. This was not the time for that to change.

Apparently Pia hadn’t noticed. Instead of being hurt or annoyed, she gave him a smile.

“Thanks. You’ve been great. I’m sorry I keep freaking out on you.”

“You’re dealing with a lot,” he said carefully.

“I know, but this is business. For what it’s worth, I really am a calm, rational person. Professional even. You probably don’t want to take my word for it, but you can ask around.”

He forced a chuckle. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I will, because I believe in worrying early and often. I’d promise to let you speak to my assistant next time, only I don’t have one. And with the fire and all, the town can’t afford to pay for one.”

“I can talk to you, Pia.”

“At least I didn’t faint this time.”

“Improvement.”

She sighed. “You’re nice, aren’t you? I don’t trust nice men.” She winced, then held up a hand. “Don’t take that wrong.”

“There’s a right way?”

“I’m just saying…” She shook her head, then grabbed her bag. “I’ll leave you with the paperwork. We can talk about the festivals and your camp later, if that’s okay. I really need to gather the tattered remains of my dignity and move on. Next time we meet, I swear I’ll be totally calm and rational. You’ll barely recognize me.”

He didn’t want her to go. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he wanted to pull her close again and tell her—

What? What was he going to say? He barely knew her. She had other things to deal with. The meeting didn’t matter.

But the problem wasn’t the meeting, and Raoul knew that. There was something about Pia. About how she got right to the heart of the problem. She was an intriguing combination of determined, vulnerable and impulsive. If she wasn’t careful, life would beat the crap out of her. Only the strong survived, and even they had to take a hit now and again.

Not his problem, he reminded himself. Nor did he want it to be.

“I’ll recognize you,” he told her. “You’re making too much of this.”

“So speaks a man who likely has never been hysterical even once in his entire life.” She met his eyes. “Thanks for being so…nice.”

“Even though it makes you not trust me?”

She winced. “I’m going to regret saying that forever.”

“No. I’m sure you’ll have other, bigger regrets that fill your mind.”

“Ouch. That’s not very encouraging.”

“We all have regrets. Things we want to change or undo. Nothing about today is worth a second of your worry.”

She hesitated. “I thought you’d be different. Cynical. Self-absorbed. You know—a sports star.”

“You should have met me ten years ago.”

Her mouth curved into a smile. “Wild and impetuous?”

“A typical college jock. My high school girlfriend dumped me my freshman year. I spent a few months feeling sorry for myself, healed and returned to my sophomore year only to discover I was a god.”

“Did you perform miracles?”

“I thought I could.”