She felt down, lonely. She’d even go as far as saying she was depressed, and she wanted out, but at the moment it seemed like Franny was holding all the cards, not just because she was indebted to her for what she’d done by helping her to keep Mia, but also financially. And she was certainly grateful, but right now she refused to let the thought of Franny stop her taking Mia out for some fresh air. After all, she was a grown woman and she could do what she liked.
With a renewed sense of determination, Bree stood in the communal hallway of the maisonettes, pushing away her guilt and hesitating only for a moment before she stepped out into the sunshine, feeling the warm wind on her face.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The last time she’d been outside was when she’d gone into labour with Mia, and Mia had come early, so that made it almost four and a half months ago.
It was crazy, she knew that and she was embarrassed to admit even to herself that over time she’d become slightly wary of Franny, even going so far as to say she was afraid of her. Not that she thought Franny would actually hurt her, but there was an intensity about Franny that hadn’t been there before, as well as an unhealthy concern for Mia.
On the odd occasion when she had tried to stand up for herself, well she was no match for Franny, and before she knew it – and maybe she was just being silly to think it – but in some strange way she felt Franny was keeping her prisoner.
Sighing, Bree crossed over the road in the direction of Woolwich Church Street, not wanting her thoughts to ruin the day. She pushed the buggy along the pavement, minding the potholes, strewn rubbish and discarded pieces of well-chewed gum, and taking in the surroundings she’d never really explored before.
She’d managed to find a five-pound note in one of her jacket pockets, which must have been there from before the birth, and now she was going to get herself a McDonald’s. It was stupid really, but she couldn’t help smiling at the idea of being able to order a cheeseburger without anyone telling her she wasn’t allowed.
Cutting through a back alleyway, Bree sighed heavily as she unsuccessfully tried to stop thinking about her situation. How things had come to this, she didn’t know. One minute she was with Alfie thinking about their future, and the next? The next his long-term girlfriend was helping her hide out. It was all such a mess.
Although she’d walked out on Alfie, that didn’t make her stop caring … or stop loving him for that matter. Not that she’d ever tell Franny that. That was the last thing she would do, and she’d no doubt that it was possibly the last thing Franny would want to hear. The problem wasn’t Alfie, the problem had always been his lifestyle. And there was no way he was ever going to give it up. It was what made him tick. It was in his DNA but bringing a baby into that life and all that came with it – the danger, the people, the uncertainty – it just wasn’t the way she wanted to live.
It hadn’t been an easy decision and as much as it hurt to the point it felt at times like a sharp object was pressing into her chest, it’d been the right one, and she knew however much she missed, loved and adored Alfie, doing the right thing for Mia had to come first.
Having cleaned herself up in the public toilets, Shannon was now almost skipping down the road. She smiled to herself as she felt the money that Alfie had given her in her pocket. He’d been a strange guy. An odd guy. He hadn’t been bad-looking, actually he’d been really handsome, but it was weird that somebody, especially a bloke, had given her something for nothing.
She’d half expected him to be waiting around the corner for her, playing out some pervy role-play, a fantasy; him acting as her stalker and chasing her along the streets, only for it to end up with them having sex down some dirty, cold alleyway. But he hadn’t been there. He was nowhere to be seen. And although she hadn’t wanted to get off with him and be forced to earn out the fifty quid he’d given her, she’d actually been slightly disappointed because it’d been nice just to talk to somebody who didn’t treat her like she was something nasty stuck to the bottom of their shoe.
Still, it didn’t matter because now she’d be able to buy some decent crack off her dealer, and not just one measly rock.
Just the thought of it made her lick her lips, but they were so sore. Bloody Charlie. Maybe she’d give him a few days to calm down and then go around and see if he would take her in again. This wasn’t the first time he’d thrown her out and she doubted it’d be the last. Anyhow, she wasn’t going to worry about it because today had turned out better than she’d ever expected it to. If she’d been with Charlie right now all she’d have been doing was sucking some stinking old fellow’s cock, but as it stood, she was going to be able to get high. She giggled to herself. Life really wasn’t so bad after all.
She didn’t even mind that she’d have to travel further this time, as her dealer had moved. Yes, she could get some stuff from round Soho but the problem with that was all the dealers knew Charlie, which meant he’d find out she’d bought some rocks, which would mean he’d want to know where she got the money from. Besides, her dealer’s crack was some of the best around, and that’s all that really mattered.
Delighted at the thought of what the rest of the day held, Shannon crossed over Samuel Street by Woolwich Dockyard, making her way to Warspite Road, which was on the other side of the dual carriageway.
Running across the busy road at the same time as her sticking two fingers up and screaming obscenities at the passing lorry beeping its horn, Shannon hurried along, pulling up the sleeves of Alfie’s jumper.
As she turned into the quiet road full of derelict houses and empty factory units, Shannon stopped in her tracks, before running around the side of an old empty warehouse. She stared, squinting through the bright sunshine as she watched a woman pushing a buggy along the alleyway.
She continued to stare, and she couldn’t be sure, but she thought it was … yes, it was. It was her. It was Bree. She hadn’t seen her for quite a while but now she was looking properly, there was no mistaking that face. The last time she’d seen Bree was ages ago. What was she doing round here?
About to wave, Shannon paused, and having thought for a moment, she stepped back into the shadows. Then, keeping her eyes firmly on Bree, Shannon pulled out her phone and dialled a number.
‘It’s me, I thought you might be interested … Guess who I’ve just seen pushing a pram.’
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