Alan MacDonald - Oscar and the Dognappers

‘You can if you burn it,’ said Sam.

He suspected that toast was the one thing his dad knew how to cook. Other dishes, like chilli con carne or lemon meringue pie for instance, he hadn’t the faintest clue. Still, the cafe would certainly be different.

‘So it’s really a toast cafe?’ he said.

‘I suppose it is,’ said Dad. ‘In fact that’s brilliant, Sam! The Toast Cafe – that’s what we’ll call it!’

‘Oh my great-grandmothers!’

A familiar voice interrupted them. It was Mr Trusscot, their busybody neighbour and Leader of the Town Council, whose bald head was poking round the door. Oscar gave a low growl. He’d come to regard Trusscot as a mortal enemy ever since he’d tried to turn large parts of town into ‘dog-free zones’.

Trusscot walked in and looked around, shaking his head.

‘I heard a rumour that some idiot had bought this dump,’ he said.

‘As it happens you’re looking at the idiot,’ replied Dad.

‘YOU?’ Trusscot stared. ‘What on earth for?’

‘If you must know, it’s going to be a beach cafe,’ Sam informed him.

Trusscot bent over. He shook, making strange squeaky noises like a rusty gate. Sam realised he was laughing.

‘A cafe? Oh hee hee hee! That’s a good one!’ he chortled.

‘It’s not a joke,’ scowled Dad.

Mr Trusscot took out a hanky and wiped his eyes.

‘Of course not, I mean just look at this place, it’s got everything,’ he said. ‘Broken windows, a leaking roof and bird wotsit on the floor!’

‘Very funny,’ said Dad. ‘You won’t be laughing when this place is a roaring success.’

‘A success? It’ll never happen,’ scoffed Mr Trusscot.

‘I bet you it will,’ replied Dad.

‘Not a chance,’ said Trusscot.

‘Is that right?’

‘Yes it is right, actually! ’

Sam rolled his eyes. He’d heard better arguments than this in the school playground. Mr Trusscot produced his wallet and pulled out a note.

‘Twenty pounds says that you’ll never last a week,’ he said.

‘Twenty? Pah! Make it fifty,’ said Dad.

‘If you’re so sure, why not a hundred?’ replied Trusscot.

Sam looked alarmed. This was getting out of hand. Mum would go up the wall if she found out Dad had bet Mr Trusscot a hundred pounds!

‘If you’re going to bet, at least make it interesting,’ he said.

‘How do you mean “interesting”?’ asked Trusscot.

‘Well it’s a cafe, so why don’t you make the bet about food?’ asked Sam.

‘Oh I see, you mean the loser has to eat a plate of snails or something,’ said Trusscot.

‘Or a seaweed sandwich,’ said Dad.

Sam’s eye fell on Oscar. ‘How about a bowl of dog food?’ he suggested.

Mr Trusscot turned pale. He couldn’t stand dogs and just the smell of the gloopy, ghastly food they ate made him feel sick. There was no way he was ever going to eat it. Then again, he wouldn’t have to, because he’d make sure he won.

‘All right, you’re on,’ he said.

‘Fine by me,’ replied Dad.

‘One week from the day you open,’ said the Councillor. ‘If you don’t last a week, then you lose.’

‘And if we do, you lose,’ said Dad, shaking Trusscot’s hand.

Mr Trusscot glanced at Oscar who had been watching him suspiciously since he arrived.

‘While I’m here,’ he said, ‘you should keep that dog on a lead. It’s for his own good.’

‘What do you mean?’ asked Sam.

‘The Council’s had a lot of complaints lately about stray dogs causing a nuisance,’ said Trusscot. ‘So we’ve decided to take action. Starting this week, we’ve employed a company to clear them all off the streets.’

Oscar sat up, suddenly alert.

‘But what will happen to them?’ asked Sam.

‘Oh I shouldn’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be taken care of,’ said Trusscot. ‘Now I’ll leave you to get on – you’ve obviously got a great deal to do. What are you going to call the place by the way – The Cockroach Cafe ?’

He went off, shaking his head and squeaking at his own joke.

Sam thought he wouldn’t mind seeing smug-faced Mr Trusscot sitting down to a big bowl of dog food. All the same he couldn’t help worrying that his Dad had made a risky bet. At the moment the hut looked like somewhere you’d pay to avoid. He looked around for Oscar and found him waiting by the door.

‘I’d better go,’ Sam said. ‘I think Oscar wants me to take him for a walk.’

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