Katy Birchall - The It Girl - Don't Tell the Bridesmaid

‘ Oi! ’

‘I quite liked these curtains, but your mother forced me to take them down,’ Dad piped up, nudging them with his toe. ‘They might come in handy. Thanks for the reminder that they exist, Anna-pops!’

‘No offence, Mr Huntley, but they look like Dog vomited the sixties on them.’ Jess patted him sympathetically on the arm. ‘Your taste is terrible.’

‘Fine!’ I switched off my head torch in defeat. ‘I’ll tell you about the date and you can put the ladder back.’ I wrinkled my nose. ‘I think I might be losing air supply.’

‘I’ll leave you girls to it,’ Dad chuckled, walking back down the stairs. ‘I look forward to Danny’s arrival when I might hear some sense in this house.’

‘Come on, then.’ Jess reached for the ladder teasingly. ‘Fill me in.’

‘I was dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.’

‘Which makes total sense for a first date with the boy you’ve liked forever.’

‘Right.’

‘I was joking. What were you thinking going on a date with Connor dressed as a TURTLE?’

‘Because it was the London Comic-Con!’ I protested as she shook her head. ‘I went as Michelangelo. He’s the best one. You know, the one who likes all the pizza and says stuff like “cowabunga!”’

Jess looked at me blankly.

‘Really? Nothing?’ I sighed and carried on. ‘So there I was dressed as a turtle and Connor was dressed as a Jedi and at first when I saw him I was kind of disappointed because I wanted us to match and I’m pretty sure that when I said we should go as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles he agreed that was a really good idea, but he must have changed his mind at the last minute or maybe the shop had run out of green face paint or something. And then I wished that he had told me he’d made a last-minute decision to go as a Jedi because I could have gone as Princess Leia, although her outfit choices are questionable and I don’t think I could have pulled off the hair. I guess I could have gone as R2-D2, though, which would have been quite cute, so he should have told me about changing his mind, don’t you think?’

‘Oh, totally.’

I squinted at Jess, trying to work out whether she was being sarcastic or not. ‘Anyway, the long and the short is that when we got to Comic-Con, I tripped over and knocked into the leg of someone dressed in a giant Iron Man suit, who in turn fell into the side of the big Marvel comic-book stand, which then collapsed on to everyone inside it and some of the smaller stands surrounding it. A pretty cool example of the domino effect, really. I mean, if we’re looking for positives.’ I paused. ‘Can I have the ladder back now?’

‘So how did you leave it with Connor?’ Jess asked, neglecting my request and looking flabbergasted.

‘It was so chaotic, what with me running about apologising to everyone and helping people up, checking they weren’t dead and stuff . . .’ I sighed. ‘I got a bit caught up in explaining everything to the organisers and asking people not to take photos of me, so I’m not really sure what Connor was doing. He was probably helping people out from under the canvas. I kind of abandoned him a little.’ I buried my face in my hands at the memory of it all. ‘Eventually, he found me and we waited outside in silence for Dad to pick us up.’

‘He didn’t say anything?’

‘Not really. I think we were both in shock still. He sent me a nice message after we dropped him off, though. He said that he had a really great time, that I wasn’t to worry about knocking over the Marvel stand, that he thought it was actually very funny and that he was disappointed he might miss out on such dramatic events when I’m in Rome.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘He must think I’m such a klutz. I finally get a boyfriend and I’m already screwing it all up.’

‘What did you say?’ Jess whipped up her head to look at me. ‘Why would Connor miss out on events in Rome?’

‘He’s not going. Didn’t I tell you that bit already? He told me yesterday right before I took down Iron Man.’

My heart sank a little all over again as I filled Jess in on Connor’s plan for the summer holiday. A plan that turned out to be the opposite of what I was expecting. ‘I thought we’d be spending two romantic weeks in Rome together – albeit with everyone else there – but he pulled out of the school trip so that he can work on his second comic book.’

‘He did what ? No way!’ Jess put her hands on her hips. ‘That is not cool!’

‘It’s very dedicated of him,’ I said sternly, reminding myself not to be so selfish. ‘I am fully supportive of his decision.’

Jess snorted. ‘Whatever. He couldn’t take two weeks out of his comic-book drawing schedule to go on an awesome holiday with his friends and girlfriend?’

‘Excuse you, but as a fellow talented artist, you should surely be the most understanding when it comes to sacrificing a social calendar for your creations. Photography projects surely come before holidays.’

‘Wrong, you philistine,’ she sniffed. ‘The best work comes from capturing moments of truth, for example photographing friends having the time of their lives on their summer holiday, not shutting yourself in a room away from everyone. Tell Connor he will be missing out on inspiration.’

‘I will be sure to pass on the message.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Now, can you put the ladder back?’

‘Yeah, sure, I just can’t believe . . . Hang on.’ Jess held up her hand and sniffed the air. ‘What is that?’

‘What?’

‘I think I can smell –’

‘Hey, girls!’ Dad called up the stairs. ‘Brownies fresh out the oven! Any takers?’

Without a moment’s hesitation, Jess let go of the ladder and darted down the stairs. ‘Yes, please! I’m starving!’

‘Jess? JESS?’ I called desperately, listening out for her footsteps coming back up the stairs. ‘JESS! I need the ladder! I’m still up here! Is anyone listening?’

I switched on my head torch and a moth fluttered by.

I hate my life.

It turns out that, when it comes to packing, asking your two best friends to come over and help you is very unproductive.

Especially when the two best friends in question are Jess and Danny.

‘What is THIS?’ Jess held up one of my T-shirts. ‘You can’t bring this.’ She threw it away from her dismissively.

My yellow Labrador, Dog, equally as unhelpful with packing, immediately galloped excitedly across the room to fetch it.

‘Hey, Anna,’ Danny said before I had the chance to chastise Jess for causing more mess, ‘one of your dad’s jumpers got mixed up with your stuff.’

‘That’s not one of Dad’s,’ I huffed, snatching the jumper from him and holding it to my chest. ‘It’s mine.’

‘Oh right.’ He paused. ‘It’s nice. Very . . . trendy?’

Jess sniggered. ‘This is nice. You can bring this.’ She plonked a summer dress into my open suitcase lying on the floor.

‘You guys are worse than Marianne,’ I sighed, slumping down on to my bed and encouraging Dog to hop up and join me. ‘You’re all a nightmare.’

‘Yes, it must be so hard when your dad is marrying a super-famous actress and your future stepsister just happens to be Marianne Montaine, the most famous It Girl in Britain, who is able to give you fashion advice,’ Jess said, rolling her eyes. ‘What a tough life you lead.’

I narrowed my eyes at her. ‘I don’t remember you getting trapped in an attic for hours.’