Sean Smith - Meghan Misunderstood

The kitchen was open in the mornings and the police were never too far away, patrolling the sidewalks where crack cocaine and bad alcohol were in competition to drag the Skid Row residents down even further. Meghan had been apprehensive, even fearful, of volunteering. She had seen the grim streets of Mexico and Jamaica, but here she was making a connection and becoming personally involved: ‘The first day I felt really scared. I was young and it was rough and raw down there, and though I was with a great volunteer group, I just felt overwhelmed.’

Meghan was more her confident self when she gave her first serious speech; she spoke at her middle school graduation ceremony at Immaculate Heart in June 1995. It was a masterful effort for someone not yet fourteen. Wearing the traditional white cap and gown, she showed no sign of outward nerves when she began, ‘Good evening parents, friends, faculty and fellow classmates …’

She thanked the school graciously for the previous two years, singling out the religious lessons that had helped her and others to ‘develop spirituality in our lives’ and the classes that had taught them ‘a deep compassion to those who suffer from the Aids virus’.

She concluded in a mature way: ‘We will graduate from high school in 1999 and begin college in the next century, taking many different paths. Some of us will go into politics, finance, entertainment, education and many other fields. But no matter what field we choose, we will always carry the spirit of Immaculate Heart with us. And always and forever as women of great heart, dedicate ourselves to making it a better world.’

Not for the last time in her life, a Meghan Markle speech was greeted with a rapturous round of applause. The last sentiment was one she has endeavoured to follow throughout her life and that she could have included in almost any speech she has made since.

Doria continued to nurture her daughter’s empathy by taking Meghan with her to weekend meetings of her church, the Agape (Greek for unconditional love) International Spiritual Center in Santa Monica. These were very popular across a wide spectrum of ages and ethnicity. Dismissing these gatherings as an exuberant, exclusively black gospel event is completely wrong.

Of course the hall resonates with some glorious, uplifting singing, accompanied by the Agape house band of musicians, but there’s also the chance to meditate, spending time in soothing silence and quiet reflection, that particularly appealed to Doria and her embrace of yoga culture.

The centre was founded in 1986 by the Rev Dr Michael Beckwith, a charismatic advocate of the New Thought movement that promoted positive thinking as a modern way of dealing with the universal problems of today – feeding the homeless, preserving the environment and helping children whose lives have been shattered by war and disease. They are the virtues that Doria and Meghan already followed and ones that would become even more important to them in the years to come.

These were religious gatherings and God did not take a backseat, but they were a world away from a draughty Sunday service at Crathie Kirk, next to Balmoral. A celebrity or two might drift in, happy that they were not going to be photographed or disturbed. The Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank was a particular devotee and would often be there when Doria and Meghan attended.

In the school holidays, when Meghan was thirteen going on fourteen, Agape started a summer drama camp for some of the members’ children. The camp, which met every day, was called Agape’s 38 Flavours, because that was the number of children who signed up for it. They were from different cultures, all encouraged to share their experiences of life.

Meghan was one of thirteen or fourteen young teenagers, alongside a pocket of pre-teens and a group of little children. Another girl was known as Meg so Meghan adopted her own special jingle: ‘Meghan Markle with a Sparkle’ and everyone called her that.

Generally, Doria would be the morning taxi, dropping her off at 8am, then Tom would pick her up at 4pm. Meghan’s domestic arrangements had changed. Tom and Doria had swapped roles to a certain extent. One of the popular myths about Meghan’s childhood and beyond is that her mum and dad remained great friends. That was not the case, but like many parents, they made the best of it for the sake of their child.

Meghan was faced with the tricky dilemma of keeping both parents happy and including both in her life. During the week she lived with her father. The Woodland Hills home had proved far too large for one person after both Yvonne and Tom Jr had moved out, so instead, he found a second-floor apartment in an unassuming West Hollywood street called Vista Del Mar, conveniently near his work and the school.

At weekends she was back with Mum. Doria was following in her own dad’s footsteps by setting up in business for herself and becoming a store owner. She found premises for two businesses in a modest shopping mall on La Brea Avenue, just a five-minute drive from home; one was a gift shop called Distant Treasures and the other, catchily named A Change of a Dress, included some of her own designs. Understandably, the stores required a lot of attention so there was little time for the school run, so Tom’s place seemed a sensible option for Meghan during the week.

Tom didn’t go to the Agape church but he was happy to do his share of parental chauffeuring for camp. This was the first time the teenage Meghan had come into contact with boys. She went to an all-girls school so the opportunities had been thin on the ground. That changed when she met Joshua Silverstein, a year older than her and just as keen on theatre.

Like her, Joshua was mixed race. His father David was Jewish and his mother, Beverly, African–American. His parents, who divorced when he was eleven, went to high school with Michael Beckwith. Some years later David bumped into Michael, who invited him to come along to Agape. He loved the sense of community there and would take his son to the services, often twice a week.

Joshua did not need to see which box Meghan might or might not have checked to understand her ethnicity: ‘When I saw Meghan, I saw a lighter-skinned brown person with curly hair and freckles and fuller lips. And I was like, that person is a person of colour.’

Meghan and Joshua got together in a time-honoured way. He recalled, ‘It was very typical of what kids do at that time. A friend told me Meghan thought I was cute and then I told my friend I thought she was cute. That was really the impetus we needed to become a couple. I took a day to think about it and figure out what to do. It was camp and we would be seeing each other every day so it was a big commitment to show up as a couple.

‘So the next day I made my move and we just fell into it. It was very innocent and very cute. And everyone took it that we were together. If she was doing anything acting-wise, I was very focused on it and very, very interested in what she was doing.’ Even though they were young, they talked about the black experience from the perspective of someone who had a white parent. They weren’t overly serious conversations but ones in which they discussed what it might be like to be a person of colour in the entertainment industry.

The new couple also had the more traditional teenage problem – how to find any privacy. They would sit together at lunch but the other campmates would always be around. Joshua explained, ‘It was this awkward and uncomfortable thing – like you are sitting with us and infringing on our space. But they were like – “Are you guys going to kiss? Kiss now.”’ They did kiss, making sure they practised a lot at every opportunity during camp.

Having been together most of the day, Meghan and Joshua would spend much of the evening on the phone to each other. He would be on the floor of his mother’s bedroom and she would be in a closet upstairs – both of them trying to keep the conversation away from parental ears.