M.J. Hollows - The German Nurse

‘When are we going to see that nice young girl again, dear?’ his grandmother asked, breaking his reverie. ‘Jocelyn, Josie, whatsit?’

‘Johanna,’ Jack replied with a smile. ‘Soon, I hope, but well … you know what Mum’s like.’

She sighed, then took a mouthful of her soup. His mother’s moods were an unspoken issue in the house. None of them truly knew what caused them, but all they could do was wait for them to pass.

‘She will come around,’ his grandfather said, joining in the conversation. ‘You’ll see – I’ll have a word with her.’ He managed to stifle a cough and his broad smile reminded Jack of past days.

‘Thanks,’ Jack said, smiling too, knowing that his grandfather would always come through for him.

The windows rocked again, causing a little dust to fall from the ceiling. Jack left his grandparents to their meal and went into the hallway. He opened the front door, the creak of its hinges lost in the din, as explosions lit up the coast of France. His neighbours stood on their doorsteps too and looked about, frowns etched deep on their faces. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The army had left only a few days ago, and the Islanders had hoped to be left alone now that they were no longer a threat. The newspapers had talked about the German advance, but no one had expected to hear it from here. Something terrible was happening over on the north coast. It seemed they wanted the whole of France for themselves.

Jack left his house and walked up onto the headland to get a better look. Some of his neighbours followed at first, but then drifted off after a while, unwilling to witness the reality of what was happening. From up there a person could see for miles, to the south across the bright blue sea, to the faint white hue of clouds on the horizon. Jack stood there for a time. He often enjoyed it up on the hills and grabbed a glance over the sea whenever he could. Sometimes he would sit; others he would just stand and think. It gave him a chance to compose his thoughts and a bit of distance from home. At times he was tempted to sketch the view, but he had no talent for it. His mother could draw, creating something that looked like a reasonable landscape.

The Cherbourg Peninsula was a muddy brown line along the edge of the sea, a land that seemed so far away. The wind was a south-westerly, blowing across him, threatening to take off his hat. The sounds had died out and been replaced by an eerie calm in which Jack could only hear his heartbeat and the occasional gust of wind. Over the few miles of sea blew thick black smoke, which left an acrid taste in his mouth. It was the taste of oil, strong and suffocating.

Often scents and smells would blow across from the mainland, the faint whiff of burning, of bonfires or wood stoves, but this time it was much stronger. It was a sign of things to come. Someone was burning fuel. He presumed it was so the Germans couldn’t get their hands on it. The invaders wouldn’t be far from the capital city now, and once there the rest of France wouldn’t be far behind.

Jack stayed for a while longer, watching the French coastline. He feared for the people. While he hadn’t been alive during the last war, he was aware of the damage it had caused. It had taken his father from him. People still refused to talk about it, but he knew how it had affected them. Another war was terrifying, but it wasn’t their war. The Germans had wanted a fight, and now they were all on a course to be dragged into it. He only hoped that it wouldn’t take anyone else from him, that he could protect Johanna from what she was running from.

After a while, when the smoke had blended with the clouds, he turned to walk back into town, taking one last glance over his shoulder at the coming darkness.

*

‘Mum?’ Jack asked as he entered the living room. He hadn’t spoken to her since Wednesday, and today was Friday. With everything that had been happening they had barely seen each other, and he was concerned that one of her moods might have taken her. Now that he had a day off, he wanted to make sure that she was all right. He had a few minutes before he had to leave and wanted to clear the air. She was sitting in her armchair, near the empty fireplace, knitting needles flicking back and forth as she knitted. She didn’t respond straight away, just stared down at her hands.

‘What are you making?’ he asked as he sat down on the chair closest to hers. She stopped what she was doing to push the Guernsey Post in his direction, but still didn’t look up.

‘It’s happening again,’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper. Jack almost hadn’t heard what she said. He scanned the headlines, the fractured reports from the continent. He sighed, knowing that the mood he feared had arrived and that now there was nothing he could do or say to make a difference. It could last for days. It was at times like this that he worried for her the most, not knowing what he could do, but wishing. Wishing for something to change.

‘We don’t know that for sure,’ he said, looking her in the eyes to get her attention. ‘We can be safe here, even without the army.’

She frowned at him, then a smile bent the corners of her mouth. She reached out a hand and tucked his hair behind his left ear, the way she had always done when he was a child.

‘How do you always manage to be so optimistic?’ she asked, her features softening. ‘You didn’t get that from me, so it must be your father.’

‘I just wanted to see that you were all right,’ he said, trying to deflect the conversation. Talk of his father would only make things worse. She never admitted how much she missed him, but Jack knew it was like a hole in her heart. ‘There’s no point in worrying. We don’t know what will happen. Besides I will be here.’

She patted his arm. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I will be fine as long as you are safe. You’re all I have left.’

Jack reflected on her words for a moment, before leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. This was the reason he could never join the army, to follow in his father’s footsteps. ‘I will always be here for you,’ he said, standing and walking to the door. It wasn’t a good idea to dwell any longer than was necessary, and best to leave on a high.

‘Where are you going?’ Her voice was stronger than it had been before, an edge of concern creeping in. Jack didn’t answer at first. He had finally managed to lift her mood and he didn’t want to ruin it.

‘You’re going to see that woman, aren’t you?’

He stopped dead at the door. ‘I wish you wouldn’t call her that,’ he replied, trying to remain calm and not cause another shouting match. ‘You would like her if you gave her a chance. She’s a good person.’

‘She’s trouble. She’ll be the death of you, just you wait and see.’ She was shouting now. ‘I wish you would choose things more carefully. You’re just like your father, always running into danger.’ He could feel her look of despair piercing the back of his head, as he kept walking, not knowing when he would come back.

*

A swift circled the harbour, wings forming a crossed silhouette against the clear blue sky. It wheeled again, searching, hunting, before disappearing from view behind a bluff. Jack cleared his mind and leant back against the harbour wall in the sunshine. These rare moments of being off duty were a blessing and he was determined not to take them for granted. Johanna would be coming to meet him soon, and he was looking forward to their time together.

A young boy played nearby, rushing around the narrow paving of the harbour, screeching with joy. He clutched a wooden toy in his hand. Jack knew the child, but only in passing. His father was a fisherman who had been out to sea when the evacuation had been arranged. His wife, who Jack knew even less thanks to her reclusive nature, hadn’t known what to do and had decided to stay on the island. The boy was all she had. Others were heading down the hill from the High Street to the harbour after hearing the attorney general’s daily briefing at the press offices, eager to see the last mail boat off. Perhaps there was some sort of morbid curiosity about it, but Jack was happy to sit and watch the birds.