M.J. Hollows - The German Nurse

He realised then, that he had forgotten the shoes he had gone in for. He looked at the door of the department store, but he couldn’t face seeing Madeleine again, let alone admitting that he had forgotten what he had gone in for. He would just have to pop in again another day, but then maybe Madeleine would think he had gone back to see her. He no longer had feelings for the woman, they had grown apart since they were younger, but it was still awkward, and he felt a certain sense of betrayal towards Johanna for even being in the same room as an old flame. He would have to find a time when she wasn’t working.

The shoes wouldn’t be going anywhere, and he could always surprise Johanna another time. He thought of the joyous look she would give him when he gave her the gift, and he smiled as he walked away from the store.

*

Further along High Street on the corner that intersected with The Pollet, Jack was stopped by a scene that made his heart stop. A group of men walked along the street in his direction, tall men wearing pristine grey uniforms with rifles slung on their shoulders. They were calling to each other in German and cheering when they saw a local. Jack took a step backwards without realising. Part of him, some ancient instinct he barely had control over, wanted to run away, to be as far away from them as possible. Their very presence was intimidating, like the boys who had run the schoolyard. He forced himself to stand firm. He would not run.

If this was the invasion, then it was tame compared to what Jack and the others had expected. The bombing of the island and the harbour had been a horrible tragedy, bringing about completely needless deaths, but it had felt distant, even to Jack. Yet he had expected a proper invasion to be closer, more frantic, full of the sounds of gunfire and explosions ripping past him as he tried futilely to defend his home.

Instead, they walked past, some of them flashing smiles at the few locals who were around. They smelt like the British soldiers, but much, much stronger. Gun oil, boot polish, and a weird perfume that he couldn’t quite place. They talked German softly between themselves as some broke off from the group to enter the shops and others stopped in pairs to smoke. The clean white cigarettes gave off a different colour of smoke than the local variants and only added to the feeling that these men were different, somehow alien.

They were shopping as if it was normal, as if they were locals going about their business, rather than invaders. Jack wondered whether it was all part of their plan, to act normally and build confidence in the local population. He couldn’t feel anything but contempt for these men, even though he didn’t know them. He needed to go to the police station, warn them that the rest of the German soldiers had arrived and were treating the town as their own. He looked around himself to see if any of them were watching, and then like a criminal he slunk away down the back streets to advise his superiors.

*

The crowds were starting to gather outside and around the Royal Hotel, forming a line along the promenade facing out to sea. It seemed as if everyone wanted to get a look at the occupation force as it gave its first parade. Whether it was out of a sense of morbid curiosity, Jack wasn’t sure, but they had come in numbers. The police had expected as much, and he had been posted along with David and the rest of his colleagues to stand guard along the route. It was more like a guard of honour than any real effort to prevent trouble. Despite the interest, there would be many who were unhappy with the occupiers, and some may take things into their own hands. Jack wasn’t sure what he could do in that situation, but he would not refuse his duty.

He found it difficult to concentrate as the minutes dragged by, and his mind drifted to Johanna. What would she be thinking now that the Germans were here? He was lost in his own thoughts when he heard the shouting. He scanned the crowd, but there were too many people. He felt David tense and take a step forward beside him.

‘My husband! My husband! Has anyone seen my husband?’ The woman was close to running as she pushed through the crowd. She was looking around her, moving on with each glance. The more she looked, the more frantic she became, turning this way and that, going back on herself before seeming to change her mind. Her dress was frayed and torn and there was mud splattered up one side. Her brown hair was also in a tangle. It was unusual that someone would be seen out in public in this state.

‘I’ll look into it,’ Jack said to David, who nodded in reply. Jack stepped out of the line to take charge, moving between the crowd of onlookers who stood gawping at the distressed woman. He didn’t know her, but her face was faintly familiar. He reached out an arm to stop her running off in the other direction again and tried to soothe her with his tone of voice. It was something he had practised before. She stopped but still looked around, her manner slowing down with each passing second.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, keeping his voice low.

‘My husband …’ was all she would say at first, until Jack pressed her.

‘What about him?’ he asked. ‘Tell me what happened and I will try to help.’

‘My husband. He’s gone,’ she said, her voice becoming a whisper, uncertain of what she was saying. Jack had to resist the urge to embrace and comfort her. He stood as close as was comfortable to hide her from the prying eyes of the crowd. ‘I went home and he wasn’t there. He was supposed to be there.’

He wondered how he would have felt if he were in this woman’s shoes, desperately searching for Johanna. Relatively speaking, she was the very model of calm. Jack thought about taking her home, to delve further into the problem, but he was needed here. The crowds were already pressing in and if he left his post then there would be chaos.

‘I want to help,’ he said. ‘But I need you to calm down and tell me exactly what happened.’

He led her aside to the mouth of an alley between two shops so that they wouldn’t be overheard. She took a few deep breaths then looked up at him. Her deep brown eyes cleared as if seeing him for the first time. At first her words were difficult to fully discern, but as she spoke she grew in confidence. ‘When the evacuation was announced,’ she said, ‘my husband and I, we decided that I should leave for England. We weren’t sure if it would be safe here, and we didn’t want to take the risk. So I signed up to go, but he … He had work here, work he had to stay for. So we decided that we would separate for the time being while the war was on. He stayed here and I caught a ship to England.

‘Only, I couldn’t stand it there, without him. Almost as soon as I got there I found a boat heading back. I couldn’t bear to be away from him, no matter how dangerous it was. Now I’m back, I can’t find him anywhere. Please help me.’

Sudden recollection dawned on Jack. He knew he had seen the woman before. It had been down in the harbour on the day the army were leaving and they were organising the boats to take people to the mainland. He had only caught a brief glimpse of the woman and her husband, but the image had stayed with him and he had seen the husband a few times since. ‘Oh dear,’ he said out loud, without realising he had spoken. Her mouth worked, trying to form a question. Jack saved her the trouble. ‘Your husband is fine,’ he said. ‘At least as far as I know. But the terrible thing is … Well, I saw him boarding one of the last boats to leave for the mainland.’

‘He … What?!’ The colour drained from her face, and her mouth hung open in shock.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jack replied. ‘He must have gone after you. He’ll be safely in England by now.’