Array The griffin classics - William Shakespeare - Complete Collection

Her name is Katherina Minola,

Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue.

Pet.

I know her father, though I know not her,

And he knew my deceased father well.

I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,

And therefore let me be thus bold with you

To give you over at this first encounter,

Unless you will accompany me thither.

Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts. A’ my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; and he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what, sir, and she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.

Hor.

Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,

For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.

He hath the jewel of my life in hold,

His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,

And her withholds from me [and] other more,

Suitors to her and rivals in my love;

Supposing it a thing impossible,

For those defects I have before rehears’d,

That ever Katherina will be woo’d.

Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,

That none shall have access unto Bianca

Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

Gru.

Katherine the curst!

A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

Hor.

Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,

And offer me disguis’d in sober robes

To old Baptista as a schoolmaster

Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca,

That so I may by this device at least

Have leave and leisure to make love to her,

And unsuspected court her by herself.

Enter Gremio, and Lucentio disguised [as a schoolmaster].

Gru. Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you! Who goes there? ha!

Hor. Peace, Grumio, it is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by a while.

Gru. A proper stripling, and an amorous!

[They stand aside.]

Gre.

O, very well, I have perus’d the note.

Hark you, sir, I’ll have them very fairly bound—

All books of love, see that at any hand—

And see you read no other lectures to her.

You understand me. Over and beside

Signior Baptista’s liberality,

I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,

And let me have them very well perfum’d;

For she is sweeter than perfume itself

To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

Luc.

What e’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you

As for my patron, stand you so assur’d,

As firmly as yourself were still in place,

Yea, and perhaps with more successful words

Than you—unless you were a scholar, sir.

Gre.

O this learning, what a thing it is!

Gru.

O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

Pet.

Peace, sirrah!

Hor.

Grumio, mum!

Coming forward.

God save you, Signior Gremio.

Gre.

And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.

Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

I promis’d to inquire carefully

About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,

And by good fortune I have lighted well

On this young man; for learning and behavior

Fit for her turn, well read in poetry

And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.

Hor.

’Tis well; and I have met a gentleman

Hath promis’d me to help [me] to another,

A fine musician to instruct our mistress;

So shall I no whit be behind in duty

To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

Gre.

Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove.

Gru.

And that his bags shall prove.

Hor.

Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love;

Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,

I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either,

Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,

Upon agreement from us to his liking,

Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,

Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

Gre.

So said, so done, is well.

Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

Pet.

I know she is an irksome brawling scold.

If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

Gre.

No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman?

Pet.

Born in Verona, old [Antonio’s] son.

My father dead, my fortune lives for me,

And I do hope good days and long to see.

Gre.

O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange;

But if you have a stomach, to’t a’ God’s name;

You shall have me assisting you in all.

But will you woo this wild-cat?

Pet.

Will I live?

Gru.

Will he woo her? ay—or I’ll hang her.

Pet.

Why came I hither but to that intent?

Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

Have I not heard the sea, puff’d up with winds,

Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?

Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,

And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?

Have I not in a pitched battle heard

Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?

And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,

That gives not half so great a blow to hear

As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?

Tush, tush, fear boys with bugs.

Gru.

For he fears none.

Gre.

Hortensio, hark.

This gentleman is happily arriv’d,

My mind presumes, for his own good and [ours].

Hor.

I promis’d we would be contributors,

And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.

Gre.

And so we will, provided that he win her.

Gru.

I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

Enter Tranio brave, [as Lucentio,] and Biondello.

Tra.

Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,

Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way

To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

Bion.

He that has the two fair daughters? is’t he you mean?

Tra.

Even he, Biondello.

Gre.

Hark you, sir, you mean not her to—

Tra.

Perhaps him and her, sir; what have you to do?

Pet.

Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

Tra.

I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.

Luc. [Aside.]

Well begun, Tranio.

Hor.

Sir, a word ere you go.

Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

Tra.

And if I be, sir, is it any offense?

Gre.

No; if without more words you will get you hence.

Tra.

Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free

For me as for you?

Gre.

But so is not she.

Tra.

For what reason, I beseech you?

Gre.

For this reason, if you’ll know,

That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.

Hor.

That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

Tra.

Softly, my masters! If you be gentlemen,

Do me this right: hear me with patience.

Baptista is a noble gentleman,

To whom my father is not all unknown,

And were his daughter fairer than she is,

She may more suitors have, and me for one.