Grace Goodwin - Matched and Mated

She tensed, her body going rigid in surprise as if she were suddenly uncomfortable, but she did not lift her head from my chest. “So soon?”

“Councilor Roark is sending me to deal with a problem in the south.”

She relaxed in my arms once again, and I pulled the soft sheet up to cover us both, not wanting her tender skin to get cold. “Do you think you will ever be done with these missions, Brax? Ever settle down and take a mate?”

It was my turn to go still. What was she asking? Was she asking me to be hers? She’d asked if I would ever take a mate, not take her as a mate. My heart skipped a beat, then raced with excitement I had not expected to feel. A longing for something I’d never wanted before. “Are you… are you asking me to be yours, Miranda? Your mate? To retire from field duty?”

She turned her head, glanced up at me. “What? No. I would never ask you to do that. I wouldn’t want to put any pressure on you.”

That quickly, my excitement faded to disappointment. Perhaps I had not pleasured her well enough. Perhaps she simply didn’t want me to be hers forever. She’d come to me with one goal, to know if her body was broken, to know if she could experience pleasure. Perhaps all she’d ever wanted from me was an answer to that question. Oh, I’d answered it all right. If she had any doubts of her passionate nature, how beautiful and incredible she was when she was in the throes of it, how hot I became knowing I was the one to make her that way… I’d spank her ass until she couldn’t sit for a week.

“I will continue to serve as long as Roark needs me.” I kept my voice even, pushing all emotion down. Away.

“Of course.” She snuggled in and turned her head, placing a kiss on my chest. A kiss that caused my heart to ache with a pain I’d never felt before. “I would never ask you to give up anything for me. That wasn’t the deal we made.”

No, it was not, but I had believed—no, hoped. I had hoped that when my fighting days were done I would make her mine. Claim her. Fill her with children and adorn her with gold and jewels, as a proper mate should. I’d lied when I told her the jewels that had decorated her lush body so beautifully were a gift for her.

They were a gift for me . I had needed to see her wearing something that marked her as mine, even if it was a lie. Even if they weren’t permanent. Yet.

Earth females were a mystery. I’d only met Natalie, Roark’s mate, and that had not helped me with my understanding of their minds when it came to choosing mates.

But Roark and Natalie had been matched through the Interstellar Brides Program. Perhaps that was why they seemed to move in and out of each other’s space seamlessly, as if they were one person. One soul.

I would never ask you to give up anything for me.

Never.

That was a gods damned long time.

Ignoring the ache spreading in my chest, I stroked her shoulder and placed a kiss on top of her head. “I must head south in the morning. I will be gone several weeks. I wanted you to know.”

“Okay.”

I knew that meant she understood and was not upset I would be leaving. That Earth slang I had picked up from her and Natalie over the two years since their initial arrival providing me the comprehension I required. But that one word of simple agreement also hurt.

My lips lingered in her hair, the dark softness a soothing balm against my skin. I could stay here, holding her, forever. But that was not to be my fate. I had to leave in the morning, a rise in illegal weapons trade on the southern coast required my attention. Roark had asked me to take care of it himself.

People were dying in the smaller cities, victims of territorial wars between smugglers’ factions. It had to be stopped.

A soldier would be easily identified and killed if he tried to enter the smugglers’ camp.

But a doctor? I’d be recruited. Taken to the inner circle. Trusted to treat their mates and children, heal their wounds.

They wouldn’t see me as a threat until it was too late.

It seemed no one expected much of me. Not the smugglers. And not the female who had fallen asleep in my arms. My chest was wet beneath her eyes, a sign of more tears.

Even in that, I was not trusted. Miranda was hurting, yet she didn’t trust me with her truths. Her hurts. Only with her body. All I was to her was… okay.

When I returned from my next mission, I would do everything in my power to convince her that okay wasn’t enough. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to hear a yes from her lips, not only when I brought her to orgasm, but when I asked her to be my mate, my partner in bed and out. And if that meant I had to tie her down and give her a thousand orgasms, break barriers down until she was a sobbing, sweaty, exhausted mess and that one word would be uttered again and again, I would.

She was mine. She simply did not know it yet.

Miranda, Personal Quarters, Xalia City, Five Weeks Later

“Okay, girlfriend, I brought the wine.”

Natalie held up a bottle of pale liquid and walked past me into my quarters. I’d sent her a comms message and she had appeared—thankfully not empty-handed—in less than an hour. With a newborn, a toddler and a very attentive mate, I was impressed she’d torn herself away so quickly.

The door to my quarters silently slid closed behind her, and I followed her into my small kitchen area. Thank god for BFFs, even on Trion. I couldn’t even imagine if I’d remained on Earth without her. Here, even on a planet we were growing accustomed to, we’d needed each other. Of course, she had hottie Roark. And little Noah, who wasn’t so dang little anymore, not with Roark’s genes in him. And then baby Talia. I grinned, thinking about how much trouble Roark was going to be in soon enough. She was only five weeks old and that little girl had her daddy wrapped around her little finger, just like her mama.

“The bottle’s a little different than on Earth, but the wine tastes the same,” Natalie continued, reaching for glasses and setting them on the counter. She was a mother of two, and she still looked amazing. She was everything I was not… tall. Blonde. Gorgeous.

I had mousy brown hair and unremarkable features. I wasn’t particularly beautiful, my nose was too long, my chin was too pointy, my left eye was slightly bigger than my right, and I’d never grown out of my gangly teenage phase. Laser surgery had taken care of my near-sightedness when I was just out of high school, but even without the glasses I’d worn most of my life, I still felt like a newborn colt trying to figure out how to walk on wobbly legs. I’d never had that whole confidence thing. Since Brax, I was better, but I was still me.

Plain old me.

“I don’t think one bottle is going to be enough.”

“That bad, huh?” Natalie tilted her head in that sympathetic girlfriend way and made a face. “Well, I know where the chef keeps his stash. I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Natalie held out a fist, her pinky the only finger sticking straight out. “Pinky swear?”

I laughed, I couldn’t help it. “Pinky swear.”

We hooked our small fingers and shook on our new oath. Thank goodness she knew when I sent out the SOS that alcohol would be required. This was exactly what I needed. A big bottle of wine and a chance to cry, scream and get drunk. We’d been friends back on Earth. I’d followed her to Trion when she mated Roark. Natalie had insisted I accompany her and Noah. Since Roark was a councilor, he’d been able to approve the transfer on the spot. I’d been on the planet with Natalie for two years and could now make Cookies and Cream ice cream from the S-gen machine. I drove Natalie’s staff crazy, but I loved to bake and had mastered the art of poofing flour, eggs, butter and the fixings for chocolate chip cookies or snickerdoodles—there was a reason I was Noah’s favorite Auntie—but I didn’t have the same inside track for the good alcohol. The real booze. The liquid gold she was pouring liberally into the glasses, thank god.