GEORGE SHAW - The Complete Works

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Musaicum Books presents to you this meticulously edited George Bernard Shaw collection:
Introduction:
Mr. Bernard Shaw (by G. K. Chesterton)
Novels:
Cashel Byron's Profession
An Unsocial Socialist
Love Among The Artists
The Irrational Knot
Plays:
Plays Unpleasant:
Widowers' Houses (1892)
The Philanderer (1898)
Mrs. Warren's Profession (1898)
Plays Pleasant:
Arms And The Man: An Anti-Romantic Comedy in Three Acts (1894)
Candida (1898)
You Never Can Tell (1897)
Three Plays for Puritans:
The Devil's Disciple
Caesar And Cleopatra
Captain Brassbound's Conversion
Other Plays:
The Man Of Destiny
The Gadfly Or The Son of the Cardinal
The Admirable Bashville Or Constancy Unrewarded
Man And Superman: A Comedy and A Philosophy
John Bull's Other Island
How He Lied To Her Husband
Major Barbara
Passion, Poison, And Petrifaction
The Doctor's Dilemma: A Tragedy
The Interlude At The Playhouse
Getting Married
The Shewing-Up Of Blanco Posnet
Press Cuttings
Misalliance
The Dark Lady Of The Sonnets
Fanny's First Play
Androcles And The Lion
Overruled: A Demonstration
Pygmalion
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)
The Music Cure
Beauty's Duty (Unfinished)
O'Flaherty, V. C.
The Inca Of Perusalem: An Almost Historical Comedietta
Augustus Does His Bit
Skit For The Tiptaft Revue
Annajanska, The Bolshevik Empress
Heartbreak House
Back To Methuselah: A Metabiological Pentateuch
In the Beginning
The Gospel of the Brothers Barnabas
The Thing Happens
Tragedy of an Elderly Gentleman
As Far as Thought Can Reach
The War Indemnities (Unfinished)
Saint Joan
The Glimpse Of Reality: A Tragedietta
Fascinating Foundling: Disgrace To The Author
The Apple Cart: A Political Extravaganza
Too True to Be Good
Village Wooing: A Comedietta for Two Voices
On the Rocks: A Political Comedy
The Simpleton of the Unexpected Isles
The Six of Calais
Arthur and the Acetone
The Millionairess
Cymbeline Refinished: A Variation on Shakespeare's Ending
Geneva
"In Good King Charles' Golden Days"
Playlet on the British Party System
Buoyant Billions: A Comedy of No Manners
Shakes versus Shav
Farfetched Fables
Why She Would Not
Miscellaneous Works:
What do Men of Letters Say? – The New York Times Articles on War (1915):
"Common Sense About the War" by G. B. Shaw
"Shaw's Nonsense About Belgium" By Arnold Bennett
"Bennett States the German Case" by G. B. Shaw
Flaws in Shaw's Logic By Cunninghame Graham
Editorial Comment on Shaw By The New York World
Comment by Readers of Shaw To the Editor of The New York Times
Open Letter to President Wilson by G. B. Shaw
A German Letter to G. Bernard Shaw By Herbert Eulenberg
"Mr. G. Bernard Shaw on Socialism" (Speech)
The Miraculous Revenge
Quintessence Of Ibsenism
The Basis of Socialism Economic
The Transition to Social Democracy
The Impossibilities Of Anarchism
The Perfect Wagnerite, Commentary on the Niblung's Ring
Letter to Beatrice Webb
The Revolutionist's Handbook And Pocket Companion
Maxims For Revolutionists
The New Theology
How to Write A Popular Play: An Essay
A Treatise on Parents and Children: An Essay
Memories of Oscar Wilde
The Intelligent Women's Guide to Socialism and Capitalism: Excerpts
Women in the Labour Market
Socialism and Marriage
Socialism and Children
Letter to Frank Harris
How These Doctors Love One Another!
The Black Girl in Search of God
The Political Madhouse in America and Nearer Home
On Capital Punishment
Essays on Bernard Shaw:
George Bernard Shaw by G. K. Chesterton
The Quintessence of Shaw by James Huneker
Old and New Masters: Bernard Shaw by Robert Lynd
George Bernard Shaw: A Poem by Oliver Herford

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There was one particular in which matters between Agatha and the college discipline did not go on exactly as before. Although she had formerly supplied a disproportionately large number of the confessions in the fault book, the entry which had nearly led to her expulsion was the last she ever made in it. Not that her conduct was better — it was rather the reverse. Miss Wilson never mentioned the matter, the fault book being sacred from all allusion on her part. But she saw that though Agatha would not confess her own sins, she still assisted others to unburden their consciences. The witticisms with which Jane unsuspectingly enlivened the pages of the Recording Angel were conclusive on this point.

Smilash had now adopted a profession. In the last days of autumn he had whitewashed the chalet, painted the doors, windows, and veranda, repaired the roof and interior, and improved the place so much that the landlord had warned him that the rent would be raised at the expiration of his twelvemonth’s tenancy, remarking that a tenant could not reasonably expect to have a pretty, rain-tight dwelling-house for the same money as a hardly habitable ruin. Smilash had immediately promised to dilapidate it to its former state at the end of the year. He had put up a board at the gate with an inscription copied from some printed cards which he presented to persons who happened to converse with him.

JEFFERSON SMILASH

PAINTER, DECORATOR, GLAZIER, PLUMBER & GARDENER. Pianofortes tuned. Domestic engineering in all its Branches. Families waited upon at table or otherwise.

CHAMOUNIX VILLA, LYVERN. (N.B. Advice Gratis. No Reasonable offer refused.)

The business thus announced, comprehensive as it was, did not flourish. When asked by the curious for testimony to his competence and respectability, he recklessly referred them to Fairholme, to Josephs, and in particular to Miss Wilson, who, he said, had known him from his earliest childhood. Fairholme, glad of an opportunity to show that he was no mealy mouthed parson, declared, when applied to, that Smilash was the greatest rogue in the country. Josephs, partly from benevolence, and partly from a vague fear that Smilash might at any moment take an action against him for defamation of character, said he had no doubt that he was a very cheap workman, and that it would be a charity to give him some little job to encourage him. Miss Wilson confirmed Fairholme’s account; and the church organist, who had tuned all the pianofortes in the neighborhood once a year for nearly a quarter of a century, denounced the newcomer as Jack of all trades and master of none. Hereupon the radicals of Lyvern, a small and disreputable party, began to assert that there was no harm in the man, and that the parsons and Miss Wilson, who lived in a fine house and did nothing but take in the daughters of rich swells as boarders, might employ their leisure better than in taking the bread out of a poor work man’s mouth. But as none of this faction needed the services of a domestic engineer, he was none the richer for their support, and the only patron he obtained was a housemaid who was leaving her situation at a country house in the vicinity, and wanted her box repaired, the lid having fallen off. Smilash demanded half-a-crown for the job, but on her demurring, immediately apologized and came down to a shilling. For this sum he repainted the box, traced her initials on it, and affixed new hinges, a Bramah lock, and brass handles, at a cost to himself of ten shillings and several hours’ labor. The housemaid found fault with the color of the paint, made him take off the handles, which, she said, reminded her of a coffin, complained that a lock with such a small key couldn’t be strong enough for a large box, but admitted that it was all her own fault for not employing a proper man. It got about that he had made a poor job of the box; and as he, when taxed with this, emphatically confirmed it, he got no other commission; and his signboard served thenceforth only for the amusement of pedestrian tourists and of shepherd boys with a taste for stone throwing.

One night a great storm blew over Lyvern, and those young ladies at Alton College who were afraid of lightning, said their prayers with some earnestness. At half-past twelve the rain, wind, and thunder made such a din that Agatha and Gertrude wrapped themselves in shawls, stole downstairs to the window on the landing outside Miss Wilson’s study, and stood watching the flashes give vivid glimpses of the landscape, and discussing in whispers whether it was dangerous to stand near a window, and whether brass stair-rods could attract lightning. Agatha, as serious and friendly with a single companion as she was mischievous and satirical before a larger audience, enjoyed the scene quietly. The lightning did not terrify her, for she knew little of the value of life, and fancied much concerning the heroism of being indifferent to it. The tremors which the more startling flashes caused her, only made her more conscious of her own courage and its contrast with the uneasiness of Gertrude, who at last, shrinking from a forked zigzag of blue flame, said:

“Let us go back to bed, Agatha. I feel sure that we are not safe here.”

“Quite as safe as in bed, where we cannot see anything. How the house shakes! I believe the rain will batter in the windows before—”

“Hush,” whispered Gertrude, catching her arm in terror. “What was that?”

“What?”

“I am sure I heard the bell — the gate bell. Oh, do let us go back to bed.”

“Nonsense! Who would be out on such a night as this? Perhaps the wind rang it.”

They waited for a few moments; Gertrude trembling, and Agatha feeling, as she listened in the darkness, a sensation familiar to persons who are afraid of ghosts. Presently a veiled clangor mingled with the wind. A few sharp and urgent snatches of it came unmistakably from the bell at the gate of the college grounds. It was a loud bell, used to summon a servant from the college to open the gates; for though there was a porter’s lodge, it was uninhabited.

“Who on earth can it be?” said Agatha. “Can’t they find the wicket, the idiots?”

“Oh, I hope not! Do come upstairs, Agatha.”

“No, I won’t. Go you, if you like.” But Gertrude was afraid to go alone. “I think I had better waken Miss Wilson, and tell her,” continued Agatha. “It seems awful to shut anybody out on such a night as this.”

“But we don’t know who it is.”

“Well, I suppose you are not afraid of them, in any case,” said Agatha, knowing the contrary, but recognizing the convenience of shaming Gertrude into silence.

They listened again. The storm was now very boisterous, and they could not hear the bell. Suddenly there was a loud knocking at the house door. Gertrude screamed, and her cry was echoed from the rooms above, where several girls had heard the knocking also, and had been driven by it into the state of mind which accompanies the climax of a nightmare. Then a candle flickered on the stairs, and Miss Wilson’s voice, reassuringly firm, was heard.

“Who is that?”

“It is I, Miss Wilson, and Gertrude. We have been watching the storm, and there is some one knocking at the—” A tremendous battery with the knocker, followed by a sound, confused by the gale, as of a man shouting, interrupted her.

“They had better not open the door,” said Miss Wilson, in some alarm. “You are very imprudent, Agatha, to stand here. You will catch your death of — Dear me! What can be the matter? She hurried down, followed by Agatha, Gertrude, and some of the braver students, to the hall, where they found a few shivering servants watching the housekeeper, who was at the keyhole of the house door, querulously asking who was there. She was evidently not heard by those without, for the knocking recommenced whilst she was speaking, and she recoiled as if she had received a blow on the mouth. Miss Wilson then rattled the chain to attract attention, and demanded again who was there.

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