Sinclair Lewis - The Collected Works of Sinclair Lewis

“You listen to Grandfather!” said Verona.

“Yes, listen to your Grandfather!” said Mrs. Babbitt.

“Ted, you listen to Mr. Thompson!” said Howard Littlefield.

“Oh, for the love o' Mike, I am listening!” Ted shouted. “But you look here, all of you! I'm getting sick and tired of being the corpse in this post mortem! If you want to kill somebody, go kill the preacher that married us! Why, he stung me five dollars, and all the money I had in the world was six dollars and two bits. I'm getting just about enough of being hollered at!”

A new voice, booming, authoritative, dominated the room. It was Babbitt. “Yuh, there's too darn many putting in their oar! Rone, you dry up. Howard and I are still pretty strong, and able to do our own cussing. Ted, come into the dining-room and we'll talk this over.”

In the dining-room, the door firmly closed, Babbitt walked to his son, put both hands on his shoulders. “You're more or less right. They all talk too much. Now what do you plan to do, old man?”

“Gosh, dad, are you really going to be human?”

“Well, I — Remember one time you called us 'the Babbitt men' and said we ought to stick together? I want to. I don't pretend to think this isn't serious. The way the cards are stacked against a young fellow to-day, I can't say I approve of early marriages. But you couldn't have married a better girl than Eunice; and way I figure it, Littlefield is darn lucky to get a Babbitt for a son-in-law! But what do you plan to do? Course you could go right ahead with the U., and when you'd finished — ”

“Dad, I can't stand it any more. Maybe it's all right for some fellows. Maybe I'll want to go back some day. But me, I want to get into mechanics. I think I'd get to be a good inventor. There's a fellow that would give me twenty dollars a week in a factory right now.”

“Well — ” Babbitt crossed the floor, slowly, ponderously, seeming a little old. “I've always wanted you to have a college degree.” He meditatively stamped across the floor again. “But I've never — Now, for heaven's sake, don't repeat this to your mother, or she'd remove what little hair I've got left, but practically, I've never done a single thing I've wanted to in my whole life! I don't know 's I've accomplished anything except just get along. I figure out I've made about a quarter of an inch out of a possible hundred rods. Well, maybe you'll carry things on further. I don't know. But I do get a kind of sneaking pleasure out of the fact that you knew what you wanted to do and did it. Well, those folks in there will try to bully you, and tame you down. Tell 'em to go to the devil! I'll back you. Take your factory job, if you want to. Don't be scared of the family. No, nor all of Zenith. Nor of yourself, the way I've been. Go ahead, old man! The world is yours!”

Arms about each other's shoulders, the Babbitt men marched into the living-room and faced the swooping family.

Table of Contents

Chapter I. Miss Boltwood of Brooklyn is Lost in the Mud

Chapter II. Claire Escapes From Respectability

Chapter III. A Young Man in a Raincoat

Chapter IV. A Room Without

Chapter V. Release Brakes — Shift to Third

Chapter VI. The Land of Billowing Clouds

Chapter VII. The Great American Frying Pan

Chapter VIII. The Discovery of Canned Shrimps and Hesperides

Chapter IX. The Man With Agate Eyes

Chapter X. The Curious Incident of the Hillside Road

Chapter XI. Sagebrush Tourists of the Great Highway

Chapter XII. The Wonders of Nature with All Modern Improvements

Chapter XIII. Adventurers by Firelight

Chapter XIV. The Beast of the Corral

Chapter XV. The Black Day of the Voyage

Chapter XVI. The Spectacles of Authority

Chapter XVII. The Vagabond in Green

Chapter XVIII. The Fallacy of Romance

Chapter XIX. The Night of Endless Pines

Chapter XX. The Free Woman

Chapter XXI. The Mine of Lost Souls

Chapter XXII. Across the Roof of the World

Chapter XXIII. The Grael in a Back Yard in Yakima

Chapter XXIV. Her Own People

Chapter XXV. The Abyssinian Prince

Chapter XXVI. A Class in Engineering and Omelets

Chapter XXVII. The Viciousness of Nice Things

Chapter XXVIII. The Morning Coat of Mr. Hudson B. Riggs

Chapter XXIX. The Enemy Love

Chapter XXX. The Virtuous Plotters

Chapter XXXI. The Kitchen Intimate

Chapter XXXII. The Cornfield Aristocrat

Chapter XXXIII. Tooth-mug Tea

Chapter XXXIV. The Beginning of a Story

Table of Contents

When the windshield was closed it became so filmed with rain that Claire fancied she was piloting a drowned car in dim spaces under the sea. When it was open, drops jabbed into her eyes and chilled her cheeks. She was excited and thoroughly miserable. She realized that these Minnesota country roads had no respect for her polite experience on Long Island parkways. She felt like a woman, not like a driver.

But the Gomez-Dep roadster had seventy horsepower, and sang songs. Since she had left Minneapolis nothing had passed her. Back yonder a truck had tried to crowd her, and she had dropped into a ditch, climbed a bank, returned to the road, and after that the truck was not. Now she was regarding a view more splendid than mountains above a garden by the sea — a stretch of good road. To her passenger, her father, Claire chanted:

"Heavenly! There's some gravel. We can make time. We'll hustle on to the next town and get dry."

"Yes. But don't mind me. You're doing very well," her father sighed.

Instantly, the dismay of it rushing at her, she saw the end of the patch of gravel. The road ahead was a wet black smear, criss-crossed with ruts. The car shot into a morass of prairie gumbo — which is mud mixed with tar, fly-paper, fish glue, and well-chewed, chocolate-covered caramels. When cattle get into gumbo, the farmers send for the stump-dynamite and try blasting.

It was her first really bad stretch of road. She was frightened. Then she was too appallingly busy to be frightened, or to be Miss Claire Boltwood, or to comfort her uneasy father. She had to drive. Her frail graceful arms put into it a vicious vigor that was genius.

When the wheels struck the slime, they slid, they wallowed. The car skidded. It was terrifyingly out of control. It began majestically to turn toward the ditch. She fought the steering wheel as though she were shadow-boxing, but the car kept contemptuously staggering till it was sideways, straight across the road. Somehow, it was back again, eating into a rut, going ahead. She didn't know how she had done it, but she had got it back. She longed to take time to retrace her own cleverness in steering. She didn't. She kept going.

The car backfired, slowed. She yanked the gear from third into first. She sped up. The motor ran like a terrified pounding heart, while the car crept on by inches through filthy mud that stretched ahead of her without relief.

She was battling to hold the car in the principal rut. She snatched the windshield open, and concentrated on that left rut. She felt that she was keeping the wheel from climbing those high sides of the rut, those six-inch walls of mud, sparkling with tiny grits. Her mind snarled at her arms, "Let the ruts do the steering. You're just fighting against them." It worked. Once she let the wheels alone they comfortably followed the furrows, and for three seconds she had that delightful belief of every motorist after every mishap, "Now that this particular disagreeableness is over, I'll never, never have any trouble again!"

But suppose the engine overheated, ran out of water? Anxiety twanged at her nerves. And the deep distinctive ruts were changing to a complex pattern, like the rails in a city switchyard. She picked out the track of the one motor car that had been through here recently. It was marked with the swastika tread of the rear tires. That track was her friend; she knew and loved the driver of a car she had never seen in her life.