Sinclair Lewis - The Collected Works of Sinclair Lewis

“I never read a novel till I got 'Dorothy Vernon of Haddon Hall' out of the library at Curlew. I thought it was the loveliest thing in the world! Next I read 'Barriers Burned Away' and then Pope's translation of Homer. Some combination, all right! When I went to Minneapolis, just two years ago, I guess I'd read pretty much everything in that Curlew library, but I'd never heard of Rossetti or John Sargent or Balzac or Brahms. But —— Yump, I'll study. Look here! Shall I get out of this tailoring, this pressing and repairing?”

“I don't see why a surgeon should spend very much time cobbling shoes.”

“But what if I find I can't really draw and design? After fussing around in New York or Chicago, I'd feel like a fool if I had to go back to work in a gents' furnishings store!”

“Please say 'haberdashery.'”

“Haberdashery? All right. I'll remember.” He shrugged and spread his fingers wide.

She was humbled by his humility; she put away in her mind, to take out and worry over later, a speculation as to whether it was not she who was naive. She urged, “What if you do have to go back? Most of us do! We can't all be artists — myself, for instance. We have to darn socks, and yet we're not content to think of nothing but socks and darning-cotton. I'd demand all I could get — whether I finally settled down to designing frocks or building temples or pressing pants. What if you do drop back? You'll have had the adventure. Don't be too meek toward life! Go! You're young, you're unmarried. Try everything! Don't listen to Nat Hicks and Sam Clark and be a 'steady young man' — in order to help them make money. You're still a blessed innocent. Go and play till the Good People capture you!”

“But I don't just want to play. I want to make something beautiful. God! And I don't know enough. Do you get it? Do you understand? Nobody else ever has! Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“And so —— But here's what bothers me: I like fabrics; dinky things like that; little drawings and elegant words. But look over there at those fields. Big! New! Don't it seem kind of a shame to leave this and go back to the East and Europe, and do what all those people have been doing so long? Being careful about words, when there's millions of bushels off wheat here! Reading this fellow Pater, when I've helped Dad to clear fields!”

“It's good to clear fields. But it's not for you. It's one of our favorite American myths that broad plains necessarily make broad minds, and high mountains make high purpose. I thought that myself, when I first came to the prairie. 'Big — new.' Oh, I don't want to deny the prairie future. It will be magnificent. But equally I'm hanged if I want to be bullied by it, go to war on behalf of Main Street, be bullied and BULLIED by the faith that the future is already here in the present, and that all of us must stay and worship wheat-stacks and insist that this is 'God's Country' — and never, of course, do anything original or gay-colored that would help to make that future! Anyway, you don't belong here. Sam Clark and Nat Hicks, that's what our big newness has produced. Go! Before it's too late, as it has been for — for some of us. Young man, go East and grow up with the revolution! Then perhaps you may come back and tell Sam and Nat and me what to do with the land we've been clearing — if we'll listen — if we don't lynch you first!”

He looked at her reverently. She could hear him saying,

“I've always wanted to know a woman who would talk to me like that.”

Her hearing was faulty. He was saying nothing of the sort. He was saying:

“Why aren't you happy with your husband?”

“I — you —— ”

“He doesn't care for the 'blessed innocent' part of you, does he!”

“Erik, you mustn't —— ”

“First you tell me to go and be free, and then you say that I 'mustn't'!”

“I know. But you mustn't —— You must be more impersonal!”

He glowered at her like a downy young owl. She wasn't sure but she thought that he muttered, “I'm damned if I will.” She considered with wholesome fear the perils of meddling with other people's destinies, and she said timidly, “Hadn't we better start back now?”

He mused, “You're younger than I am. Your lips are for songs about rivers in the morning and lakes at twilight. I don't see how anybody could ever hurt you. . . . Yes. We better go.”

He trudged beside her, his eyes averted. Hugh experimentally took his thumb. He looked down at the baby seriously. He burst out, “All right. I'll do it. I'll stay here one year. Save. Not spend so much money on clothes. And then I'll go East, to art-school. Work on the side-tailor shop, dressmaker's. I'll learn what I'm good for: designing clothes, stage-settings, illustrating, or selling collars to fat men. All settled.” He peered at her, unsmiling.

“Can you stand it here in town for a year?”

“With you to look at?”

“Please! I mean: Don't the people here think you're an odd bird? (They do me, I assure you!)”

“I don't know. I never notice much. Oh, they do kid me about not being in the army — especially the old warhorses, the old men that aren't going themselves. And this Bogart boy. And Mr. Hicks's son — he's a horrible brat. But probably he's licensed to say what he thinks about his father's hired man!”

“He's beastly!”

They were in town. They passed Aunt Bessie's house. Aunt Bessie and Mrs. Bogart were at the window, and Carol saw that they were staring so intently that they answered her wave only with the stiffly raised hands of automatons. In the next block Mrs. Dr. Westlake was gaping from her porch. Carol said with an embarrassed quaver:

“I want to run in and see Mrs. Westlake. I'll say good-by here.”

She avoided his eyes.

Mrs. Westlake was affable. Carol felt that she was expected to explain; and while she was mentally asserting that she'd be hanged if she'd explain, she was explaining:

“Hugh captured that Valborg boy up the track. They became such good friends. And I talked to him for a while. I'd heard he was eccentric, but really, I found him quite intelligent. Crude, but he reads — reads almost the way Dr. Westlake does.”

“That's fine. Why does he stick here in town? What's this I hear about his being interested in Myrtle Cass?”

“I don't know. Is he? I'm sure he isn't! He said he was quite lonely! Besides, Myrtle is a babe in arms!”

“Twenty-one if she's a day!”

“Well —— Is the doctor going to do any hunting this fall?”

II

The need of explaining Erik dragged her back into doubting. For all his ardent reading, and his ardent life, was he anything but a small-town youth bred on an illiberal farm and in cheap tailor shops? He had rough hands. She had been attracted only by hands that were fine and suave, like those of her father. Delicate hands and resolute purpose. But this boy — powerful seamed hands and flabby will.

“It's not appealing weakness like his, but sane strength that will animate the Gopher Prairies. Only —— Does that mean anything? Or am I echoing Vida? The world has always let 'strong' statesmen and soldiers — the men with strong voices — take control, and what have the thundering boobies done? What is 'strength'?

“This classifying of people! I suppose tailors differ as much as burglars or kings.

“Erik frightened me when he turned on me. Of course he didn't mean anything, but I mustn't let him be so personal.

“Amazing impertinence!

“But he didn't mean to be.

“His hands are FIRM. I wonder if sculptors don't have thick hands, too?

“Of course if there really is anything I can do to HELP the boy ——

“Though I despise these people who interfere. He must be independent.”