Gavin Oattes - A Head Full of Everything

Some people consider it a breeze; others do not. Some people consider it a portal to a better life; others do not. Some people consider it a prison full of assholes; others do not.

Everyone thinks differently when it comes to high school. One thing I can guarantee, however, is that in Teenagerland we do our most thinking. Not necessarily our best thinking but we definitely do our most thinking.

But it is our thinking and thinking alone that will determine the experience we have as a teenager. And as all the experts tell us, happiness doesn't come from things, it comes from experiences.

I believe that in growing up too many of us lose something special. Very special. Some hold on to it forever, for others it comes and goes, but for many, it just disappears entirely. I'm going to refer to it as ‘that wee piece of magic’. It's a natural thing that we're all born with. I see it in my own two kids every day.

So what do I actually mean by ‘that wee piece of magic’? Let me try and explain… . About three months before my son's 5th birthday we woke at 4 am to the sound of him screaming ‘DAAAAD’ as loud as he possibly could. I got the fright of my life and leapt out my bed.

In fact, I didn't even touch the bed, I just landed on two feet and ran for the door (because that's how ninjas respond). As I headed for the door Kian came running into the room still shouting, ‘DAAAAD!’ Obviously concerned, I stopped him and asked ‘What on earth is it Kian? It's 4 in the morning. What's the matter?’

Perfectly calm, Kian smiled and simply answered, ‘I know why they're called eyeballs.’ This for me was a moment of magic. Let me explain why.

The fact that it was 4 am is irrelevant when the star of the story is only 4. Kian had woken up and had a moment of learning, which is cool but it's not the moment of magic. The moment of magic came next. He shared it. That's it. It's that simple. He shared it. Because that's what you do when you're 4, you share stuff. Doesn't matter what you experience or what you discover, you share it. Doesn't matter how big it is or how small it is, you share it. Doesn't matter how exciting it is or how boring it is, how colourful or dull, you share it, because you're 4.

But at nearly 5, you don't just share it. You share it from here (*points to chest*), with heart and soul. With passion, energy, excitement and it's always wrapped up in a big ball of wonder. It's beautiful. It's magic.

So why is this relevant to you – a teenager – reading this? How many times in your life have you been asked at school to share your work, share your knowledge, your inspirations, your ideas, to share who you are? And how often do you actually share, from here (*points to chest*), with heart and soul? With passion, energy and excitement all wrapped up in a big ball of wonder?

There's how the best leaders lead. There's how we create a movement. There's how we inspire. There's how we make a difference. There's how we change the world.

And in case you're wondering, Kian never actually told me why they're called eyeballs. To be fair, that wasn't the point.

I'll give you one more example of this wee piece of magic I speak of.

We were having dinner one night. There was broccoli on the plate. Now I don't like broccoli, but my kids love it. They're weird, right? I had broccoli on my plate because that's a good parenting example. My son leant over, picked up a piece of broccoli from my plate and said, ‘Dad, you should eat your greens,’ to which I replied, ‘And you should stop touching my food.’ ‘Broccoli is great fun dad.’ I had never heard this sentence before.

He continued, ‘it can beee stuff’. Now, instantly my brain showed me lots of pictures of trees. We all know broccoli looks like trees, yours probably just did the same. It turned out I was on the right lines, but as he was only 4, he was streets ahead of me. Holding up the piece of broccoli he said, ‘See this piece here Dad, I want you to imagine it's summertime, in fact no Dad’ – he bit the head off the broccoli – ‘it's autumn.’

Genius. I sat there thinking isn't it incredible how at such a young age we can take anything we want and transform it into anything we want? Anything.

Of course, at such a young age we find this process much more natural. Firstly, as kids we always want things to be better, to be more fun, more exciting. Secondly, we believe it to be possible. And lastly, we know it will be worth the effort.

What do I mean by that last one?

It's why young kids will sit and build Lego for 4 hours then knock it down and start again. It's why they'll go outside and build a den even though they've been told it's going to rain in an hour.

This example right here, with the den and the rain. This sums up for me just what goes wrong for so many of us out there. There are simply too many people – teens included – who have made a shift from being the type of person who thinks and says ‘I'm going outside to build a den in the garden’ to being the type of person that thinks and says ‘but it's going to rain in an hour’.

‘Once you’re grown up, you can’t come back.’

—Peter Pan

That's the wee piece of magic I'm talking about right there. Heading outside to build the den or staying indoors to wait for the rain to pass. It's the perfect metaphor for life.

It's the difference between actually building the den and wishing you'd built the den. The difference between doing something that excites you and doing something safer. The difference between embracing the moment or passing it up. The difference between getting stuck in no matter what and sitting this one out.

Think about this from your perspective as a teenager. Like really young kids, most teenagers want things to be better, to always be improving. Most will seek some kind of positive change. We all want to have fun. Step one is always the easy part.

Step two is where we lose some people. It becomes harder to believe some things are possible. As we enter adulthood, we now know what it's like to fail, to be judged, to be told we're not good enough. We worry more about other people's opinions. We start to overthink things. We can overthink things to such an extent we convince ourselves we can't do or have certain things, so it's easier to not even try.

And then there's step three, as teenagers we know what it means to be told ‘the effort will be worth it in the long run’. It's code for ‘in the short‐term it's going to be awful’. Like exams. ‘Put the effort in now and it will all pay off’ they say. What they're really saying is that it's going to be stressful, messy and we're all going to be exhausted.

When you're in proper groan‐up jobland, they'll say things to you like, ‘we're embarking on a journey of change’ or ‘we're going on a journey of growth’.

We are ALWAYS on a journey of growth! BUT PLEASE CAN WE STOP CALLING IT ‘A JOURNEY OF GROWTH’!!! It's just life.

It won't matter what age you are, or how boring your boss is, it will be the wee piece of magic that gets you through. But not just through … in, involved and engaged.