Gavin Oattes - A Head Full of Everything

But I told you this book is like you, it's not normal. So, instead, some more questions….

Are you happy most of the time?

I'm going with ‘most of the time’ as we simply cannot be happy all the time.

Is there a great big, enormous fire in your belly for life?

What's the point in even having a belly if there's no fire in it, right? Think back to you when you were about 4 years old. The fire was stoked daily. Everything was exciting.

Experts tell us life is all about being in the moment, making the most of now, not worrying about the future and living life in the present. But you get to wrap that present up however you want it. Sounds a bit cheesy but life is like wrapping a present. Sometimes it just folds beautifully without even trying. That moment the scissors glide as if by magic and the sticky tape tears beautifully.

Then there's the moments where the paper creases, the scissors tear the paper, you've got the whole roll of tape stuck to the present, it's not folding anything like it should be but you're so past caring you just accept it for what it is. Then to add insult to injury, you've not measured it out properly, so you need to cut another piece and patch it up. You've half‐assed it and for now it will have to do.

At 18 years of age, still scared, I finally decided to wrap my present up the way I had always dreamt. If there was ever a job for someone terrified of crowds, public humiliation and other people's opinions it certainly wasn't the world of comedy. So, naturally, I booked myself a gig, put myself on a stage and became a stand‐up comedian….

I did my first gig. It felt incredible. Over the last 20 years I have performed all over the world. Good gigs, terrible gigs, great gigs. So many ups and downs. I've met the most wonderful people and the main thing I have learned is this.

If you're faced with an opportunity that's both terrifying and amazing, then you should totally go for it.

Welcome to life. Teenage life. The weirdest 7 years you'll ever have. Terrifying and amazing. My challenge to you is to wrap your 7 years up however the hell you want to. Stop pretending to be normal, embrace your inner weird, never grow up, be you and be sure that for your 7 years, you act your age. Literally.

‘No matter what you do, in the beginning it’s going to suck, because you suck. But you’ll get better, and you’ll suck less. And as you keep doing this, eventually you’ll suck so little, you’ll actually be good.’

—Garrett J. White

‘You believed in Santa for 10 years, you can believe in yourself for 10 seconds.’

—Anon

I fell off my scooter the other day. When I say scooter, I mean an actual scooter. Not a moped with an engine. Not an electric scooter, a literal scooter. A kid's one. Except it's mine.

I was feeling particularly confident for a non‐scooter stunt specialist. I figured I could do a bit of a jump while going full speed. Not even a spectacular jump, literally a bit of a jump.

I'm not sure if I hit a stone or crack in the pavement but my scooter stopped immediately. I didn't. I went over the top at what felt like 70 miles per hour and hit the ground at what felt like 100 miles per hour. If there was ever a word to describe how I hit the ground, it's ‘slam’. The kind of fall that if someone had filmed it, I'd be viral, and the world would laugh together, secretly wondering if I lived. Imagine a meteor hitting the road, tearing up the tarmac. I'm the meteor.

I think overconfidence perhaps had something to do with it. I am now very, very sore. The thing is, sometimes our confidence can get us in trouble.

Did you know that 8% of males and 7% of females think they could beat a lion in a fist fight? This is definitely the kind of confidence that's going to get people in trouble.

We're told all through life from a very young age that confidence is key. The way one carries themselves, acts, stands, walks, talks and interacts with others. How you walk into the exam hall, that job interview or the first time you ask someone out, confidence matters. There even comes a day they tell us that confidence is an attractive trait for humans to have.

That explains why I was rubbish with exams and girls!

The thing is, there's believing in yourself and then there's downright delusion. Believing you can make a brilliant ham sandwich is confident, believing you can beat a lion in a fight is hilarious.

We all know someone who we could describe as overconfident. But is overconfidence really a thing, can we actually be too confident? Can confidence actually become a hindrance?

And, perhaps more importantly, what about those of us who lack confidence? Does it mean that unless we are bursting with confidence, we don't stand as good a chance as our peers at achieving greatness?

Are those of us who perhaps struggle with confidence also allowed to aim for greatness or does this now make us overly confident too?

Aaaaannd, do we even need to be aiming for greatness?

I'm confused.

Just as well the experts at the Institute for the Psychology of Elite Performance at Bangor University have extensively examined this very thing.

The reason I'm interested in this stuff is because I lack confidence. I'm more than comfortable sharing this with you. People don't tend to believe this because of my job. They see me on a stage doing what I do, they read my books and they assume my levels of confidence are intact. Truth is, I doubt myself regularly and beat myself up about it daily. I always have and it drives me crazy. So, I'm keen to know what the possible outcomes of this are.

Firstly, what is low confidence? I'm told low confidence is the state of thinking that we are not quite ready to face an upcoming task. Cool, check. That's me all the time, it was me all through school and it's me now, pacing up and down backstage, wondering why I'm doing this, questioning why anyone is going to listen to me!

So, what happens then when we are lacking in confidence? Well, in this case, one of two things happens: either we disengage from the task … not ideal. Or we invest extra effort into preparing for it.

Not all bad then.

In one of the studies, participants were required to skip with a rope continuously for one minute. Participants were then told that they had to repeat the task but using a more difficult rope to skip with (in fact it was the exact same type of rope). Results revealed that confidence actually decreased butperformance improved.

Sooooo, what you're telling me is that self‐doubt can be quite beneficial? Exactly. It can, in many ways, make us better. It can, in fact lead to an increase in effort, we try harder.

Now let's consider the role of overconfidence. A high level of confidence is usually helpful for performing tasks because it can lead you to strive for difficult goals. But high confidence can also be detrimental when it causes you to lower the amount of effort you give towards these goals.

Overconfidence often makes people no longer feel the need to invest all of their effort – think of that person you know who studies less for upcoming exams.