Jan Carroll - Reasons

“God, I thought they’d never stop.” I said as I sat down.

“Neither did we!” said my mother.

“Well I was waiting for them, I mean it’s only three minutes or whatever and” “They were waiting for you.”

“Really? Well I won’t be doing that again. And anyway who told him?”

She didn’t reply to that, but my parents were the only ones who knew that when living at home, as soon as there was a beautiful piece of music I would be up dancing to it, all around the place by myself. A couple of nights later he came to ask me to dance again,

“The people they like it. Can you dance for them again?”

“Oh God no, I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t do it again.”

“But it’s easy for you – just to dance, yes?”

“To dance, yes, but not in front of people!”

The next thing he had planned was the crossing of the equator parade. He certainly took his job seriously – mustn’t let the passengers get bored. King Neptune was some random older man and I was Queen Neptune. I thought the girl who was Miss Queensland would have made a much better Queen Neptune, because she was gorgeous and had a lovely tan. I was just like a long glass of milk. Anyway she loaned me her black swimsuit. I had a beautiful black halter neck swimsuit, but hadn’t worn it yet as it would need to be a hot day in hell before I went anywhere near a swimming pool. The equator nearly made the cut, but it was Singapore before I put it on.

Like Cecil B. de Mille he had something bigger in mind, and we were all assembled in the costume room and he allocated different roles and outfits around and we rehearsed for the big night. One girl who was to be up on a pillar – there were lots of girls on pillars – Rome of course - had the most spectacular legs and so she was the winged goddess of somewhere or other. Miss Queensland was to parade around in her swimsuit, and I was to wear what looked like a former white curtain or bedspread made into a strapless evening gown. He led me off the stage and down the stairs and then around the room with our arms up in the air. I didn’t know whether I was being offered up as the vestal virgin or what, which meant someone was in for a surprise, but none of us questioned him because we could all see he was so enthusiastic and we were having fun, and if I was making an idiot of myself, it wouldn’t be the last time! The trip lasted 3 weeks, so we were quite ready to join any activity to pass the time.

The ship called in to what used to be Ceylon and then Aden where we got off and took a bus up to Cairo with a stop at the Pyramids – totally fascinating and luckily it was long before all the development pressed up so close to them. I wore a full skirt because it was so hot, and I had no intention of riding a donkey or camel or any other creature, but while I was arguing with a camel driver about this, he somehow whisked me up and on to the camel with my skirt billowing out in the air like a damn parachute. I was furious, but it made no difference. I was up and he was down. So I did ride a camel to the pyramids.

Before we passed through Port Said the ship was put on high alert and we waited until eventually a speedboat arrived alongside and a man in uniform clambered up the rope ladder which had been thrown over for him. It was now Egypt’s turn to fight for liberation apparently, and he was the last British Officer to make it out, and we were the last ship through before the Canal was closed.

Then it was on to Naples where we visited Pompeii. Everything on this trip was a learning experience and we were lucky to be doing it before the world was swamped with tourists at every place of interest. While we were wandering around Pompeii my mother was almost whisked away by some smooth Italian man. Probably made her day, and she certainly seemed to be glowing. Good on her. In the evening we took a buggy ride around Naples which was sublime. Italian men were certainly not backward and, in spite of sticking close to my parents for once, they showed no hesitation in advancing. Leaving the ship in Southampton was rather sad, but as we had to board the train to London there was hardly any time for good-byes, and anyway most of them had been said the night before.

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