Cihlar & Egeler - The Saint and her Fool

Then I will light a candle for you, my dear little Saint Rose.

Chapter 4

The castle on the hill and the small town below both seem buried under deep snow with dark, grey clouds hanging low in the sky. In the early dusk, lights begin to glow through the high castle windows. Today, one room has been illuminated after a long time of darkness: Frau von Hardenstein, the new governess of the Princess, has arrived and is getting settled in her room, waiting impatiently for the Earl of Thorstein to arrive at the castle, to greet her in her new home. She is not quite the image of the lady in a black bonnet, which the Duke had pictured; she seems still quite energetic and full of life. Her face shows no sign that the scythe of life has cut deeply into the garden of her soul. Only once in awhile, a glint appears in her blue eyes that reveal a suffering, which will never disappear from her heart.

Harro arrives and after a warm greeting, he looks around the large room. The windows are set back into deep niches and the room has all sorts of cozy nooks and corners. The high ceiling of plaster is held by grey sandstone pillars, which are decorated with all sorts of drapery that makes their solemnity look quite whimsical.

„Do you like your small kingdom here, dear Ma ma ?” asks Harro, knowing she likes it when he calls her as her son had.

„Oh yes, quite nice, although I must say I will need time to get used to sleeping with these huge, stone pillars; when I wake up in the morning, I surely will always be startled, thinking I have my bed in a church. I have decided to sleep behind those green curtains; in my bedroom there is also a large pillar, looking so severely down on me that I have chosen the niche.”

„Maybe it would help to remove those ridiculous curtains; it looks as if the columns wear panties …but then it would really look like a church in here.”

„It seems as though this room has once had a special meaning. The ornament on the ceiling indicates this and it seems to have had even a fourth pillar that has been removed.” She smiles. „It is a nice room; I will surely feel quite at home here.” She ushers her guest over to a few chairs and they sit down.

„When I met with the Duke on premises of first class in Würzburg, we had quite a long talk. He was very kind and showered me with an abundance of advice, admonitions, requests and warnings, always looking a bit skeptical, as if I still might be hiding a dagger under my garments. It was all a bit intimidating, but I fought the feeling of running away, knowing you would not be far. Even if this should only be for a trial period of time, I am so looking forward to seeing you often, Harro, and I hope this fact does not boost your vanity.”

Harro laughs. „Oh, you will surely be getting enough of my humble presence, as the Princess is also so eager to visit me in my ruins; the Duke has allowed her to come.”

„My dear Harro, you always seem to find a way to help the lonely and distressed; this time, it is not a poor musician, not a lonely, grieving mother, but an enchanted Princess.”

„That is the right word for this child; she has indeed enchanted me. And with the poor man, you surely mean my friend Hans Friedrich, a truly gifted musician. Though it is actually the other way around; he was the one who had helped me, when I was in need.”

„I have heard that you came to his help when he had been in utmost peril; being harassed by quite dangerous villains.”

Harro laughs heartily. „Dangerous? Weak and decadent riffraff they had been; a mere suggestion of boldness had chased them away.”

„They could have been armed!”

„Such scoundrels are not able to impinge anything; pistols could be just shaken from their hands. No, my friend was the one who had come to my help with his wonderful music, in the gravest time of my life. I had not acknowledged that until after he was gone, then everything seemed to descend upon me. But your description of the enchanted Princess is incisive. It seems, as if a colored and yet sorrowful looking motley of a jester is hanging over her real entity, as in the fairy tale story of Thousand Furs. When it is taken off, something so graciously beautiful appears that the sun and the moon are amazed.”

„Oh, Harro, and you would so like to come to her rescue?”

„If I only could! Her poor little soul has been so tormented and misunderstood; it is no wonder that her father fears hidden daggers.”

„And after her rescue? What then, Harro?”

„The serfs do their duty and then are forced to leave.”

„You can be certain, the day will surely come that you will be advised to do so. The better your disenchantment goes, the safer it is for you.”

„Dear Ma ma , I will not need to be advised to do so, I will know when the time comes. But for now, I relish this wonderful little Rose, as long as she needs me. I have been so empty inside, like a wounded animal in a cave, an amusement for others. To have found such a lovely flower that seems to be withering away…I cannot distract my thoughts from her. I am painting her now… she is so fragile. Have you seen her feet? So fine and delicate; please do see to it that she does not wear the wrong shoes that might deform them.”

„I do hope this is the interest of an artist speaking.”

„Don’t you think she is beautiful?” he urges.

„Surely she is…her hair is very beautiful, but there is something disquieting in her eyes, as if they were not hers. They seem to change color and when they are dark, it looks uncanny. It is said that she is somewhat strange; having such poetic ideas and an extremely vivid imagination.”

„I know, and for this she has been offended and called a liar, so that it has even reinforced her to hold onto this own world of hers.”

„Well, we will see, how our little Princess develops…now tell me how you are doing, Harro. How are your grim old aunts? Are they still angry with you?”

Harro chuckles. „Oh, aunt Marga is already knitting socks for me again and because I usually wear long socks and short trousers, my legs having a quite respectable length, she has work to do. She seems to have the idea that I am not yet fully grown and always sends along some of the left over wool, tightly sewn into a linen bag. She surely is afraid that I do not look proper enough to attract the attention of any respectful woman. Isn’t that sweet of her? Aunt Ulrike also seems to be softening up; I can see her bold handwriting here and there in her sister’s letters to me. It is not more than a question mark or an underscore between the sentences of Marga and at the bottom of the letter; she only includes the energetic and impressive letter U.„

The Duke has requested Harro to paint the Princess, which he accepts with utmost pleasure. He acquires only the best of materials for this grand project. A veiled easel now waits in the study and when the Princess peeks into the room, her eyes light up as bright as when she had seen the Christmas tree in the Thorsteiner ruin. All the different paintbrushes, the small bottles of liquid paint, the long, white linen smock; how funny will Harro look wearing it! Frau von Hardenstein has provided herself with a large ball of silver-grey wool, which she plans to entangle and hopefully knit something nice during the painting sessions she will be allowed to watch. It is a tremendously thick bundle of fluff, so that they have all the time in the world, a blissful thought for all those involved. In the bedroom, the most beautiful dresses of the Princess are laid out for the artist to choose from. The Princess climbs onto her dresser, where a large mirror hangs, and critically considers each selection. What she sees, is an image of what she has often looked upon with malaise. She hears her friend coming and gets down off the dresser, a bit abashed.