Massimo Cereso - Provence Forever

I believed that I could always live a life according to my ideas, without regard for my fellow human beings. I felt strong, tears or other feelings that moved my inner self were completely foreign to me. I was me, only I determined my life, another environment did not interest me. Money, power, success and a pathological craving for recognition determined my feelings.

For thirty years I did not realize how precious life was with my former family. Today, my life is an unbearable torment that I would like to end; the best thing would be for me to be struck by the redemptive blow right away, because waking up in the morning, every day anew, is a real hell and the whole world is a vale of tears. If I were not such a coward, I would commit suicide so that I would finally be released from this life on the abyss.

Michèle has been absent for almost a month; for me, that's years. I have to be patient for four more days, then Michèle will be here again. She is currently staying for a month with a so-called friend from high society who owns an estate in Portugal and is served by many servants, valets and maids. This old, deceitful and calculating witch, who comes from very humble origins and only came to a great fortune by marrying a big industrialist, feasts on harassing her employees daily in the most brutal way.

Her financial power allows her to bully, humiliate and insult those around her. In addition, this person is trying to get Michèle to end our relationship. I will never be able to understand that Michèle wastes a month of her life to spend thirty days and nights with this Satanic woman. There must be some calculation behind this, namely that the stingy old woman will include my Michèle in her will and leave her some of her million-dollar fortune after her demise.

Nothing in this world loves Michèle more than money; money and financial security mean complete freedom and independence for her. For this love, I gave up my former life after thirty years of marriage and squandered my company, which guaranteed me an above-average income, for a few hundred thousand francs. I have spent this money in the past years to maintain this love. Today I have nothing left and I am forced to build a new existence, because apart from my great love I can no longer offer Michèle much. I am looking for possibilities to dispose of anything else; yes, I would also be ready at once to offer a part of my liver, my kidney or whatever else for little money. Fourteen beautiful days that I can spend with Michèle are life for me. I do not think then also about the fact that in fourteen days everything is over.

On the fifteenth day, however, hell begins anew; it gets worse and worse and I no longer know how everything is supposed to go on. I no longer buy food, but play the lottery with the last of my money, hoping each time for a win, which however - how could it be otherwise - always fails to materialize. But the thought of and the hope for a beautiful life with Michèle are worth my last money. I go to church and pray to God that He will let me live happily and in peace with Michèle. Otherwise, I want nothing more for myself; the only thing I want is Michèle.

My airplanes of yesteryear, Jaguars and Porsches, and the finest motorboats are no longer important. I can remember hawking even the last of my luxuries, my gold Rolex watch, for this love. I am developing superhuman strength to keep this love alive; there is nothing I do not undertake to make money again. I sell various industrial goods and would like to successfully sell the products I have developed in the meantime as well. My financial means are exhausted at present, therefore I ask each friend or acquaintance for a loan, these so-called friends I helped in former times without large, "if and but" in their need and gave accordingly loans, however I do not get loans from these questionable "friends" myself. Nevertheless, this project must succeed. If there is no way today, a way will certainly come tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, it simply must be so, another possibility is excluded.

I always ask myself for what reason I have to endure such a life, why it is not possible for me to live a life like that of many of my friends, without great excitement, modest and with a harmonious family that means a lot to me in my daily existence.

Michèle is not there, but this house is there.

Michèle, her human being is not visible and yet she is here, her eyes are the light of Provence, her soul, her smell, her breath will always remain in this house.

Wherever I go in the Lubéron on my long walks, I am never alone, Michèle, the sunflower of Provence, is in my heart. And should my wish not come true to spend my last years in the Lubéron, I am at least left with the certainty that after my death my final resting place will be here; never will I be forced to leave again the land in the Garden of Eden of Provence that gives me eternal peace, and the mistral will carry my ashes to my beloved villages, valleys, fields and forests.

2

I have resumed a business activity. I sell special products, olive oils, lavender honey, spice and herb blends, lavender prodcts, and cosmetic products of all kinds from Provence to a former friend and owner of a large drugstore chain in Switzerland. My suppliers are smaller family businesses and producers from the Lubéron. These people, whom I have visited in the villages and markets for quite some time now, have become friends. Buying their produce is always a new experience and takes hours, with private family dinners in the producer's home. Provençal cuisine in the Lubéron consists of simple dishes with colorful vegetables, meat, olive oil and lots of herbs.

Parc Naturel: Vaucluse, Lubéron, Provence

They are an experience every time, even the stews are godsends. My biggest supplier is a lavender farmer in Sault , every year I buy the best quality dried lavender flowers from his lavender fields. The festivities that follow last two days and are a special event, after this harvest festival I need a rest for several days.

After the final separation from my great love Michelé and being alone for more than two years, I have finally found a way to organize my thoughts and in the meantime I have worked out an existence again. With my today's business activity I do not earn any more amounts of millions, I can finance however with the sales and export of my Provence products my in the meantime again somewhat increased life expenditure. As a result of my final move to France, I have received from my pension fund, on balance of all claims, several hundred thousand Swiss francs, therefore I had enough equity capital, so that I can now run my business successfully without bank loans. The volume of incoming orders is quite considerable, I have therefore again founded a company, my business premises office and warehouse in Avignon are extremely modest, moreover, I have hired an additional employee to handle the daily orders and send them to my export customers. Never again I would like to work full time myself, my additional administrative office work in Avignon claims at most fifty percent activity, the rest of the time I would like to spend meaningfully in Provence and especially in the Lubéron Nature Park.