Robert Fabbri: The Alexandrian Embassy

‘Can’t read,’ Magnus said, his confusion plain upon his face.

‘Indeed,’ Gaius replied, already looking to the client next in line.

‘Philo!’ Magnus exclaimed as he walked beside Gaius, processing with his two hundred, or so, clients accompanying him down the Quirinal. ‘You mean the brother of Alexander, the Alabarch of the Alexandrian Jews?’

‘The very same,’ Gaius puffed; although he had set a sedate pace he was already sheened with sweat. His jowls, breasts, belly and buttocks wobbled furiously to different rhythms beneath his senatorial toga as he waddled behind Cassandros and Tigran with their staves at the ready to beat a path for him should the way become too crowded.

‘What’s he doing in Rome?’

‘He’s been here since the start of the sailing season. He’s heading an embassy of Alexandrian Jews to the Emperor to complain about the way Flaccus, the Prefect of Egypt, handled the riots between the Jews and the Greeks in Alexandria last year.’

‘I saw them, I was there with Vespasian, stealing Alexander’s breastplate from his mausoleum for Caligula because Flaccus refused to hand it over.’

‘Of course you were; so you know what the riots were like, then?’

‘Well, according to Philo, they were an outrage because, how did he put it? The Jews were scourged with whips by the lowest class of executioner as if they were indigenous country dwellers, rather than with rods wielded by Alexandrian lictors as was the entitlement of their rank.’

‘What?’

‘Yes, that was his main complaint. Forget the fact that his sister-in-law had to be put out of her misery by her own husband because she had been flayed alive and had no chance of survival, or that gangs of Greeks dragged Jews off to the theatre to crucify them and then set fire to the crosses. No, he was more concerned about the etiquette of beating and how some of his acquaintances were not accorded the dignity of the rod, as he put it. An arsehole as far as I could make out and a pompous one at that.’

‘Yes, well, he is the arsehole, pompous or not, that Vespasian wants you to … look after, shall we say, for the next few days.’

‘Why?’

‘Because no one else will. He’s either refused or got rid of, on religious grounds, everyone that Cossa Cornelius Lentullus, the Urban Prefect, has provided for his safety. Not wanting to take the blame should something happen to Philo and his embassy, Lentullus passed on responsibility to Corbulo, the Junior Consul, who in turn immediately passed it down the line to Vespasian, in his capacity as one of the Urban Praetors this year. Corbulo is well aware that Vespasian has a relationship with the family from his time in Alexandria and therefore perhaps has some influence over Philo. So Vespasian, naturally, is anxious that Philo should not wander around the city unattended as he is likely to cause offence wherever he goes.’

‘Well, that’s for sure. Why doesn’t someone just bundle him onto a ship and send him back to Alexandria?’

‘Because, after keeping him waiting, Caligula has decided that he will receive him and his embassy and is looking forward to it; which is why no one wants to be responsible for disappointing our divine Emperor by allowing Philo to get himself killed. Apparently Caligula’s curious as to why the Jews don’t accept him as a god.’

Magnus scowled. ‘Well, they don’t accept anything as a god. That’s what the Greeks used as the reason for the riots: they didn’t see why the Jews should have equal status with them if they weren’t going to behave like equal citizens and make a sacrifice to the Emperor when they took their annual oath of allegiance.’

‘Which is, I believe, the very question that Caligula wants to put to Philo: why should the Jews have equal status if they don’t behave like everyone else in the Empire?’

‘Tricky.’

‘Yes, so just make sure that he’s kept alive to answer it. Caligula is on his way back from Antium and Vespasian is accompanying him; they should be back in a day or so as Caligula’s keen to get his campaign in Germania under way.’

Magnus grunted; he did not look enamoured of the commission. ‘If you say so, sir.’

‘I don’t say so; it’s just a small favour that I’m asking.’

‘And in return, sir?’ Magnus asked as they went through a colonnade that opened out into the Forum built by Augustus.

Gaius looked askance at his client and raised a knowing, plucked eyebrow. ‘Yes?’

‘Have you heard of a man named Quintus Tullius Tatianus?’

‘An equestrian from an unfashionable branch of the Tullian gens ?’

‘I think so.’

‘He who can get hold of any weapon you care to name and get it through the city gates?’

Magnus hid his surprise at a senator being aware of the existence of such a shady figure. ‘That’s the one; what do you know of him?’

‘Just that, there’s nothing he can’t get hold of and smuggle into the city for the right price: Scythian composite bows, Thracian rhompheroi, Rhodian staff-slings and the correct lead shot, throwing axes from the barbarian North, Jewish sicari daggers, you name it and he can get it. Oh, and he only ever does business at his house and on his own terms. Why do you ask?’

‘I was going to … well … enlighten you, if you take my meaning?’

‘He’s upset you so you were going to report his illegal enterprise to me in the hopes that I would take it to the Urban Prefect or some such thing?’

Magnus was disappointed. ‘But you already know what everyone else knows?’

‘If by “everyone else” you mean the criminal underbelly of Rome who seem to have an insatiable demand for novel ways of despatching one another, then yes.’

Magnus thought for a few moments as Gaius hailed other senators also making their way through the Forum of Augustus. ‘But how come you know about him as well?’ Magnus asked once he had Gaius’ attention again.

‘Anyone who has been a praetor knows about him. He’s well known to all of us who’ve had a responsibility for law and order in Rome.’

‘And yet nothing’s been done about him?’

‘No, we leave him alone.’

Magnus could not conceal a look of astonishment. ‘You mean the authorities let him continue in business.’

‘Naturally. We never touch him, which has led him to become so complacent that he thinks that he can trade openly from his own study.’

Magnus’ astonishment morphed into incredulity. ‘The authorities just let him bring weapons into the city with impunity?’

‘Of course.’

‘Why?’

‘Now, Magnus,’ Gaius said with a concerned frown, ‘you sound as if you’re in danger of becoming an upright and outraged citizen. It makes absolute sense to let him carry on undisturbed: if he disappeared who would take his place and how long would it take us to find out? And, actually, would it just be one person? Tatianus guards his trade very jealously so that anyone who encroaches on his business normally finds themselves the victim of their own merchandise. He polices it very nicely for us; rather like your crossroads fraternities are tolerated because you keep the crime down in your areas even though you’re a bunch of criminals yourselves. It’s a most peculiar paradox.’

‘Now, sir, you’re not being entirely fair.’

‘Really? Well, if you say so.’ Gaius looked amused as they passed into Caesar’s Forum where the Urban Prefect could be petitioned in the shadow of an equestrian statue of the onetime dictator. He pointed to Lentullus at his desk perusing a scroll. ‘We could go and tell the Prefect all about Tatianus now and he would just laugh. If it wasn’t for Tatianus he would have no idea of how much weaponry was in the city and who possessed it so that every so often he can send the Urban Cohorts round and have a collection.’