Terry Pratchett - Nation

“There you have it, Your Majesty,” said Mr. Black, giving the king a happy little smile. “With that small amendment your wonderful pun will be an absolute hoot in ecclesiastical circles.”

“I notice you didn’t laugh, Mr. Black!”

“No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.”

“Well, at least there is one thing I can do,” said the king, walking over to Mau. “Sir, I would be honored if you will join my Empire. Not many people get a choice, I might add.”

“Thank you, King,” said Mau, “but we — ” He stopped, and turned to Pilu for assistance.

“We don’t want to join, Your Sire. It’s too big and we will be swallowed up.”

“Then you will be prey to the first man who arrives with a boat and half a dozen armed men,” said the king. “Apart from me, I mean,” he added quickly.

“Yes, Your King,” said Mau. He saw the ghost girl watching him and thought, well, this is the moment. “That is why we want to join the Royal Society.”

“What?” The king turned to his daughter, who was grinning. “Did you put them up to this, my girl?”

“Papa, this is where science began,” Daphne said quickly, “and I just gave them the words. They did the thinking for themselves. Their ancestors were scientists. You’ve seen the cave! This will work!”

Pilu looked nervously from the king to his daughter and went on: “When the Royal Society was formed, the king gave them a club as full of bigness as his was — ”

“Bigness?” said the king.

“That was Charles the Second, sire,” Mr. Black whispered. “In fact he did indeed say that the society deserved a mace ‘alike in bigness to our own,’ and I suppose we can only be grateful that he didn’t say biggittity.”

“ — which means he thought they were as powerful as kings, and so we humbly, no, proudly ask that we be admitted,” said Pilu, glancing at the ghost girl. “We will welcome all men of science as, er, brothers.”

“Say yes, Papa, say yes!” said Daphne. “Science is international!”

“I can’t speak for the society — ” the king began, but Daphne was ready for this. There was no point in being a princess if you couldn’t interrupt a king.

“Of course you can, Papa. It says Royal Society outside their building, doesn’t it?”

“Your society, Your Majesty,” Mr. Black purred. “And based, of course, in London.”

“And we will give them the golden door,” said Mau.

“What?” said Daphne. She hadn’t expected this bit.

“It’s not going to be shut again,” said Mau emphatically. “It will be a gift to our brothers who sailed so far that they came back.”

“That’s tons of gold!” said the king. “About eight tons at least, I’d say.”

“Very well done, sire,” said Mr. Black. “To the victor the spoils.”

“Except there hasn’t been a war,” said the king. “It’s too much. We can’t take it! They have been kind.”

“I was merely suggesting that the people like it when kings bring valuable things home, sire,” said the Gentleman of Last Resort.

“Like whole countries,” said Daphne, giving him a sharp look.

“But this is meant as a gift, Mr. Black. It is not the spoils of conquest,” said the king.

“Well, that is indeed a happy, if unusual, outcome,” said Mr. Black smoothly.

“And you will give a gift to us, too,” said Mau. “When much is taken, something is returned. Pilu?”

“A big telescope,” said Pilu, “and a boat in sizeness to the Sweet Judy, and ten barrels of salt-pickled beef, and tools of every sizeness. Timber, metals of all kindness, books with pictures and writing inside that is about the pictures….”

It went on for quite some time, and when he had finished, Daphne said, “That’s still pretty cheap, Papa, even with the boat. And remember, the first thing they asked for was a telescope. How can you argue with that?”

The king smiled. “I won’t. Nor will I wonder out loud if anyone helped them with the list. Anyway I rather like ‘metals of all kindness.’ And you are right, of course. Scientists will flock here. And you can keep your door, Mau.”

“No,” said Mau firmly. “It was closed for too long, Your King. I will not let it be shut again. But there is one more request, which is very simple. Every man of science who comes here to see what we once knew must tell us all he knows.”

“Lectures!” Daphne burst out. “Oh, yes!”

“And someone, please, to teach us doctrine,” Mau added.

The bishop, who had been feeling a bit left out by now, brightened up at this point and stepped forward smartly. “If I can help in any way — ” he began, his voice full of hope.

“Doctrine to make us better,” said Mau, giving Daphne an imploring look.

“Yes indeed,” said the bishop. “I feel that — ”

Daphne sighed. “I’m sorry, Your Grace, but he means doctoring,” she said.

“Ah, yes,” said the bishop sadly. “Silly me.”

“Mind you, if you’re good at debating, Mau might be interested.” She looked at Mau, who looked at her, and then at the Gentlemen of Last Resort, and then at the king, and then at the Cutty Wren, and then back at her.

And he knows I’m going, she thought. And very soon. I’ll have to. A king’s only child can’t live on an island that’s lost at sea. He could read me like a book, if he read books. He knows. I can see it in his face.

At dawn on the seventh day after the arrival of the Cutty Wren, Captain Samson was ready to set sail again. The ship had already picked up most of the provisions for the return leg in Port Mercia, but eight tons of gold takes a lot of sawing up when you’re determined not to leave behind a single bit of gold dust.

Now the ship waited outside the reef, just visible behind the mists. It looked like a toy, but from the Women’s Place, everything was a matter of perspective.

His Majesty’s schooner had left yesterday, with cheering and waving and a lot less gear, lamp oil, sailcloth, and cutlery than it had when it arrived. The fastest sailing ship in the world was waiting, impatient to fly.

The clearing was more or less deserted at this time of day, but there were a few snores coming from the huts and the occasional gurgle coming from the hut of the lady of the same name. The gardens were silent, listening. And the Place did listen, Daphne was sure of that. It made you listen, because she did, too. It must have even made her grandmother listen: Yesterday Daphne had seen her sitting next to Mrs. Gurgle, who very clearly was a woman of great power, because it looked very much as though her new companion was chewing a lump of salt-pickled beef. Her ladyship hadn’t seen her granddaughter watching, which was probably a good thing for both of them.

Now Daphne looked around at the gardens. “I’ve come to say good-bye,” she said. “And thank you.” She didn’t shout it out. Either the Grandmothers were listening or they weren’t.

She stood and waited. There was no reply but the vegetables’ silence and, in the distance, a pantaloon bird losing the remains of last night’s dinner.

“Well, thank you anyway,” she said, and turned away.

Were they real? she thought. Memory slips away so quickly here. I think it blows out to sea. But I shall remember. And in her head a fading voice said, “Good!” or perhaps she imagined it. Life gets really complicated if you think too much.

The king had invited the carpenter of the Cutty Wren — in the few days he had been there — to help with the new building already begun by the carpenter from his schooner; and soon, because people feel uneasy watching a king work with his sleeves rolled up, both crews had rolled up theirs, too. The rest of the Judy had become another long hut and a big heap of useful things. And, of course, there was the Sweet Judy herself. She had been an unexpected find.