Rupi Kaur - Milk and Honey

i’ve seen you in my mother’s eyes

when she tells me to marry the type

of man i’d want to raise my son to be like

every revolution

starts and ends

with his lips

what am i to you he asks

i put my hands in his lap

and whisper you

are every hope

i’ve ever had

in human form

my favorite thing about you is your smell

you smell like

earth

herbs

gardens

a little more

human than the rest of us

i know i

should crumble

for better reasons

but have you seen

that boy he brings

the sun to its

knees every

night

you are the faint line

between faith and

blindly waiting

- letter to my future lover

nothing is safer

than the sound of you

reading out loud to me

- the perfect date

he placed his hands

on my mind

before reaching

for my waist

my hips

or my lips

he didn’t call me

beautiful first

he called me

exquisite

- how he touches me

i am learning

how to love him

by loving myself

he says

i am sorry i am not an easy person to want

i look at him surprised

who said i wanted easy

i don’t crave easy

i crave goddamn difficult

the very thought of you

has my legs spread apart

like an easel with a canvas

begging for art

i am ready for you

i have always

been

ready for you

- the first time

i do not want to have you

to fill the empty parts of me

i want to be full on my own

i want to be so complete

i could light a whole city

and then

i want to have you

cause the two of us combined

could set it on fire

love will come

and when love comes

love will hold you

love will call your name

and you will melt

sometimes though

love will hurt you but

love will never mean to

love will play no games

cause love knows life

has been hard enough already

i’d be lying if i said

you make me speechless

the truth is you make my

tongue so weak it forgets

what language to speak in

he asks me what i do

i tell him i work for a small company

that makes packaging for—

he stops me midsentence

no not what you do to pay the bills

what drives you crazy

what keeps you up at night

i tell him i write

he asks me to show him something

i take the tips of my fingers

place them inside his forearm

and graze them down his wrist

goose bumps rise to the surface

i see his mouth clench

muscles tighten

his eyes pore into mine

as though i’m the reason

for making them blink

i break gaze just as

he inches toward me

i step back

so that’s what you do

you command attention

my cheeks flush as

i smile shyly

confessing

i can’t help it

you might not have been my first love

but you were the love that made

all the other loves

irrelevant

you’ve touched me

without even

touching me

how do you turn

a forest fire like me

so soft i turn into

running water

you look like you smell of

honey and no pain

let me have a taste of that

your name is

the strongest

positive and negative

connotation in any language

it either lights me up or

leaves me aching for days

you talk too much

he whispers into my ear

i can think of better ways to use that mouth

it’s your voice

that undresses me

my name sounds so good

french kissing your tongue

you wrap your fingers

around my hair

and pull

this

is how you make

music out of me

- foreplay

on days

like this

i need you to

run your fingers

through my hair

and speak softly

- you

i want your hands

to hold

not my hands

your lips

to kiss

not my lips

but other places

i need someone

who knows struggle

as well as i do

someone

willing to hold my feet in their lap

on days it is too difficult to stand

the type of person who gives

exactly what i need

before i even know i need it

the type of lover who hears me

even when i do not speak

is the type of understanding

i demand

- the type of lover i need

you move my hand

between my legs

and whisper

make those pretty little fingers dance for me

- solo performance

we’ve been arguing more than we ought to. about things neither of us remember or care about cause that’s how we avoid the bigger questions. instead of asking why we don’t say i love you to one another as often as we used to. we fight about things like: who was supposed to get up and turn the lights off first. or who was supposed to pop the frozen pizza in the oven after work. taking hits at the most vulnerable parts of one another. we’re like fingers on thorns honey. we know exactly where it hurts.

and everything is on the table tonight. like that one time you whispered a name i’m pretty sure wasn’t mine in your sleep. or last week when you said you were working late. so i called work but they said you’d already left a couple hours ago. where were you for those couple hours.

i know. i know. your excuses make all the sense in the world. and i get a little carried away for no good reason and eventually begin crying. but what else do you expect baby. i love you so much. i’m sorry i thought you were lying.

that’s when you hold your head with your hands in frustration. half begging me to stop. half tired and sick of it. the toxin in our mouths has burnt holes in our cheeks. we look less alive than we used to. less color in our faces. but don’t kid yourself. no matter how bad it gets we both know you still wanna nail me to the ground.

especially when i’m screaming so loud our fighting wakes the neighbors. and they come running to the door to save us. baby don’t open it.

instead. lie me down. lay me open like a map. and with your finger trace the places you still want to **** out of me. kiss me like i am the center point of gravity and you are falling into me like my soul is the focal point of yours. and when your mouth is kissing not my mouth but other places. my legs will split apart out of habit. and that’s when. i pull you in. welcome you. home.

when the entire street is looking out their windows wondering what all the commotion is. and the fire trucks come rolling in to save us but they can’t distinguish whether these flames began with our anger or our passion. i will smile. throw my head back. arch my body like a mountain you want to split in half. baby lick me.

like your mouth has the gift of reading and i’m your favorite book. find your favorite page in the soft spot between my legs and read it carefully. fluently. vividly. don’t you dare leave a single word untouched. and i swear my ending will be so good. the last few words will come. running to your mouth. and when you’re done. take a seat. cause it’s my turn to make music with my knees pressed to the ground.

sweet baby. this. is how we pull language out of one another with the flick of our tongues. this is how we have the conversation. this. is how we make up.

- how we make up

when my mother says i deserve better

i snap to your defense out of habit

he still loves me i shout

she looks at me with defeated eyes