Уильям Моэм - The Circle

TEDDIE. Oh, but I love it out there. England's ripping to come back to, but I couldn't live here now. It's like a woman you're desperately in love with as long as you don't see her, but when you're with her she maddens you so that you can't bear her.

ELIZABETH. [ Smiling. ] What's wrong with England?

TEDDIE. I don't think anything's wrong with England. I expect something's wrong with me. I've been away too long. England seems to me full of people doing things they don't want to because other people expect it of them.

ELIZABETH. Isn't that what you call a high degree of civilisation?

TEDDIE. People seem to me so insincere. When you go to parties in London they're all babbling about art, and you feel that in their hearts they don't care twopence about it. They read the books that everybody is talking about because they don't want to be out of it. In the F.M.S. we don't get very many books, and we read those we have over and over again. They mean so much to us. I don't think the people over there are half so clever as the people at home, but one gets to know them better. You see, there are so few of us that we have to make the best of one another.

ELIZABETH. I imagine that frills are not much worn in the F.M.S. It must be a comfort.

TEDDIE. It's not much good being pretentious where everyone knows exactly who you are and what your income is.

ELIZABETH. I don't think you want too much sincerity in society. It would be like an iron girder in a house of cards.

TEDDIE. And then, you know, the place is ripping. You get used to a blue sky and you miss it in England.

ELIZABETH. What do you do with yourself all the time?

TEDDIE. Oh, one works like blazes. You have to be a pretty hefty fellow to be a planter. And then there's ripping bathing. You know, it's lovely, with palm trees all along the beach. And there's shooting. And now and then we have a little dance to a gramophone.

ELIZABETH. [ Pretending to tease him. ] I think you've got a young woman out there, Teddie.

TEDDIE. [ Vehemently. ] Oh, no!

[ She is a little taken aback by the earnestness of his disclaimer. There is a moment's silence, then she recovers herself.

ELIZABETH. But you'll have to marry and settle down one of these days, you know.

TEDDIE. I want to, but it's not a thing you can do lightly.

ELIZABETH. I don't know why there more than elsewhere.

TEDDIE. In England if people don't get on they go their own ways and jog along after a fashion. In a place like that you're thrown a great deal on your own resources.

ELIZABETH. Of course.

TEDDIE. Lots of girls come out because they think they're going to have a good time. But if they're empty–headed, then they're just faced with their own emptiness and they're done. If their husbands can afford it they go home and settle down as grass–widows.

ELIZABETH. I've met them. They seem to find it a very pleasant occupation.

TEDDIE. It's rotten for their husbands, though.

ELIZABETH. And if the husbands can't afford it?

TEDDIE. Oh, then they tipple.

ELIZABETH. It's not a very alluring prospect.

TEDDIE. But if the woman's the right sort she wouldn't exchange it for any life in the world. When all's said and done it's we who've made the Empire.

ELIZABETH. What sort is the right sort?

TEDDIE. A woman of courage and endurance and sincerity. Of course, it's hopeless unless she's in love with her husband.

[ He is looking at her earnestly and she, raising her eyes, gives him a long look. There is silence between them.

TEDDIE. My house stands on the side of a hill, and the cocoanut trees wind down to the shore. Azaleas grow in my garden, and camellias, and all sorts of ripping flowers. And in front of me is the winding coast line, and then the blue sea.

[ A pause.

Do you know that I'm awfully in love with you?

ELIZABETH. [ Gravely. ] I wasn't quite sure. I wondered.

TEDDIE. And you?

[ She nods slowly.

I've never kissed you.

ELIZABETH. I don't want you to.

[ They look at one another steadily. They are both grave. ARNOLD comes in hurriedly.

ARNOLD. They're coming, Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH. [ As though returning from a distant world. ] Who?

ARNOLD. [ Impatiently. ] My dear! My mother, of course. The car is just coming up the drive.

TEDDIE. Would you like me to clear out?

ARNOLD. No, no! For goodness' sake stay.

ELIZABETH. We'd better go and meet them, Arnold.

ARNOLD. No, no; I think they'd much better be shown in. I feel simply sick with nervousness.

[ ANNA comes in from the garden.

ANNA. Your guests have arrived.

ELIZABETH. Yes, I know.

ARNOLD. I've given orders that luncheon should be served at once.

ELIZABETH. Why? It's not half–past one already, is it?

ARNOLD. I thought it would help. When you don't know exactly what to say you can always eat.

[ The BUTLER comes in and announces.

BUTLER. Lady Catherine Champion–Cheney! Lord Porteous!

[ LADY KITTY comes in followed by PORTEOUS, and the BUTLER goes out. LADY KITTY is a gay little lady, with dyed red hair and painted cheeks. She is somewhat outrageously dressed. She never forgets that she has been a pretty woman and she still behaves as if she were twenty–five. LORD PORTEOUS is a very bald, elderly gentleman in loose, rather eccentric clothes. He is snappy and gruff. This is not at all the couple that ELIZABETH expected, and for a moment she stares at them with round, startled eyes. LADY KITTY goes up to her with outstretched hands.

LADY KITTY. Elizabeth! Elizabeth! [ She kisses her effusively. ] What an adorable creature! [ Turning to PORTEOUS. ] Hughie, isn't she adorable?

PORTEOUS. [ With a grunt. ] Ugh!

[ ELIZABETH, smiling now, turns to him and gives him her hand.

ELIZABETH. How d'you do?

PORTEOUS. Damnable road you've got down here. How d'you do, my dear? Why d'you have such damnable roads in England?

[ LADY KITTY'S eyes fall on TEDDIE and she goes up to him with her arms thrown back, prepared to throw them round him.

LADY KITTY. My boy, my boy! I should have known you anywhere!

ELIZABETH. [ Hastily. ] That's Arnold.

LADY KITTY. [ Without a moment's hesitation. ] The image of his father! I should have known him anywhere! [ She throws her arms round his neck. ] My boy, my boy!

PORTEOUS. [ With a grunt. ] Ugh!

LADY KITTY. Tell me, would you have known me again? Have I changed?

ARNOLD. I was only five, you know, when—when you …

LADY KITTY. [ Emotionally. ] I remember as if it was yesterday. I went up into your room. [ With a sudden change of manner. ] By the way, I always thought that nurse drank. Did you ever find out if she really did?

PORTEOUS. How the devil can you expect him to know that, Kitty?

LADY KITTY. You've never had a child, Hughie; how can you tell what they know and what they don't?

ELIZABETH. [ Coming to the rescue. ] This is Arnold, Lord Porteous.

PORTEOUS. [ Shaking hands with him. ] How d'you do? I knew your father.

ARNOLD. Yes.

PORTEOUS. Alive still?

ARNOLD. Yes.

PORTEOUS. He must be getting on. Is he well?

ARNOLD. Very.

PORTEOUS. Ugh! Takes care of himself, I suppose. I'm not at all well. This damned climate doesn't agree with me.

ELIZABETH. [ To LADY KITTY. ] This is Mrs. Shenstone. And this is Mr. Luton. I hope you don't mind a very small party.

LADY KITTY. [ Shaking hands with ANNA and TEDDIE. ] Oh, no, I shall enjoy it. I used to give enormous parties here. Political, you know. How nice you've made this room!