Peter Handke - The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays

PORTEN

A tear-gas pistol!

GEORGE

( To JANNINGS, who sits as if he were the boss in his fauteuil.) Do we carry tear-gas pistols?

(JANNINGS pulls a small riding crop out of his boot and hands it to GEORGE, who puts it on the table. PORTEN looks at it without touching it.)

JANNINGS

( Sits with his face turned away from her.) This riding crop will do the trick too.

GEORGE

A riding crop like this will do the trick too.

PORTEN

I want this one.

JANNINGS

Is she our first customer today?

GEORGE

( Translates. ) A customer like you should be treated like the first customer of the day. It’s yours!

PORTEN

( Takes the crop. ) Is it a good one?

GEORGE

First-rate.

PORTEN

Can I believe you?

GEORGE

What reason would I have to trick you? ( She hands the crop back to him, and he slashes through the air with it. One can hear the sound. Then he slaps the crop on the table. ) Just imagine the sound in the dark! ( He hands her the crop .)

(PORTEN repeats what he did, producing the same sounds. The crop still in her hand, she pulls up her dress as far as the hip and pulls a large note of stage money out of her garter belt. She puts the note on the table and also places the crop next to it.

GEORGE, astonished, hands the crop back to her, then takes a few coins out of his pants pocket and puts them on the table. While he is looking for banknotes in his other pockets, PORTEN takes the coins; but when he continues to search, she puts the coins back on the table.

JANNINGS gets up and flashes a few notes, which he counts into her hand one by one. He closes her fingers one by one over the notes; the last finger — it is the index finger — she closes, very slowly, herself. It seems that she beckons him to come to her. At the same time they look into each other’s eyes. Everyone is holding his breath.

PORTEN pushes the bills into her bodice; then slowly withdraws her hand, making it evident that the hand is now empty; touches her upper lip with the tongue; and, gently flipping the crop back and forth, looks so long at the two salesmen that GEORGE shifts his weight from one leg to the other and shouts indecently loud at VON STROHEIM: “Do you belong together?” VON STROHEIM and PORTEN give each other a fleeting glance, then look away. A second glance: they look at each other as though for the first time.)

VON STROHEIM

Can’t one tell just by looking at us? crop .)

GEORGE

I guess so, now.

PORTEN

( To GEORGE and JANNINGS) And how is it with you two? Do you belong together?

(GEORGE and JANNINGS look at each other, look away. The second glance: they look at each other as though for the first time. )

GEORGE and JANNINGS

( Simultaneously ) Yes, he belongs to me. ( To one another, GEORGE softly, JANNINGS louder ) You belong to me — you belong to me.

GEORGE

Why?

JANNINGS

Because it has always been like that.

GEORGE

Who says that?

JANNINGS

People in general.

GEORGE

And why do you tell me that only now?

JANNINGS

There was no need to tell you until now.

GEORGE

And now it has become necessary?

JANNINGS

( Looks at his cold cigar .) Yes. ( He points with the cigar at the box of matches lying on the footstool. GEORGE bends down, then he hesitates and straightens up again .) There, you see how necessary it was. (GEORGE, confused, thereupon hands him the matches, and JANNINGS, content, lights his cigar. He drops the match .) You’ve lost something there.

(GEORGE glances briefly at the match, looks away. The second glance: he picks up the match and puts it in the ashtray .)

VON STROHEIM

( Applauds by way of suggestion, but one hears no clapping .) Much better already! Much better! Of course, if I were you …

PORTEN

Who’s stopping you?

VON STROHEIM

Yes, who’s stopping me? ( He takes a deep breath and assumes a pose. (JANNINGS takes the coins from the table and flings them into his face . VON STROHEIM shakers himself and comers to his senses. He speaks to JANNINGS and GEORGE as though teaching them something .) You’re still here?

JANNINGS

( Repeating, but twice as loud ) You’re still here?

VON STROHEIM

That’s it! Exactly! That’s how I would have done it! (Pause. VON STROHEIM gives JANNINGS a sign to go on speaking. He prompts him.) What do you want here?

JANNINGS

What do you want here?

VON STROHEIM

We just want to take a look around.

JANNINGS

This isn’t an amusement park!

VON STROHEIM

Why don’t you let him speak for himself!

(JANNINGS nods to GEORGE and sits down on the fauteuil, his back to the others. )

GEORGE

This is private property. (JANNINGS nods. ) You’re not in a restaurant. You have nothing to say here. Please talk to each other only in whispers. If you must intrude here, at least take off your hats. Didn’t you see the felt slippers by the entrance? Look at me: I’m talking to you. You’re not at home here, where you can put your feet on the table. What has the world come to that anybody can come in? Watch your step, man-traps and self-detonating charges have been set. Danger, rat poison. Don’t touch anything. Beware of dog. Long, hard winter. Floods in spring, mud in the closets, no more cranes wake with their shrill screams in the meadows, no more June bugs buzz through the maple trees. ( Pause .) It’s terribly painful to be alive and alone at one and the same time.

( Pause .)

VON STROHEIM

He’ll never learn it.

( Pause .)

GEORGE

It wasn’t raining yet, but farther away one could hear it already raining …

(VON STROHEIM turns away with PORTEN and walks around with her as if he wanted to inspect the furnishings. He wants to take out a magazine, but when he straightens up with it, it turns out that the magazine is chained to the table, like a telephone book, and he quickly puts it back. Then PORTEN wants to pick up the little statue covered with a paper bag, but it turns out that the statue is either screwed or glued to the chest of drawers. She pulls the bag from the statue: it is a multicolored painted dog sitting in an upright position. She touches it and it squeaks: it is made of rubber . VON STROHEIM joins her and pulls on one of the chest drawers. It will not open although he makes repeated attempts. Finally he tries a different drawer, which opens very easily .)

VON STROHEIM

You see!

( They leave the drawer open and continue their inspection tour. He takes off and drops the cover from the first picture: a seascape, not a rough sea, not a calm sea, no ships, only ocean and sky.

Almost simultaneously PORTEN has removed the cover from the second picture: a mirror without particular characteristics. She settles on the second, so far unused, sofa while VON STROHEIM returns from the bar with a bottle and two glasses. He sits down next to her and twists the bottle top but cannot open it. He quite casually blows into the glasses, and a cloud of dust swirls into his face. He casually puts the glasses and bottle aside. He looks at his hands, turns one palm up and down. )

PORTEN

( Suddenly seizes his hand .) Watch out! ( Pause. She sees his hand. ) Oh, it’s only your hand. I thought, an animal.