Hanif Kureishi: The Black Album

RiazNaturally you miss such food.

A knock on the door .

Ah, here he is.

He opens the door to Hat, bringing the takeaway .

Meet Shahid — he’s been living quietly in the room next to mine. A proper student!

HatSalaam-a-leikum . I am Hat.

ShahidShahid.

RiazHis father owns the takeaway. He is paying for him to study at the college.

Hat( to Shahid ) Nice room, brother.

Riaz( to Hat ) Have you brought your abha’s famous brinjal pakoras to start with?

Hat( putting the takeaway cartons on Shahid’s computer table ) Everything exactly as ordered. Kebab rolls as well.

Riaz( exclaiming ) Masha-Allah!

He sits on the floor and opens the cartons .

Come, Shahid — eat!

Hat( to Riaz ) Papa very annoyed — he say definitely no more meetings in our café.

Riaz( reassuring as he eats ) We will respect his wishes. Don’t worry — now go.

Hat hesitates .

( Realising .) Ah! The money, of course. Take out a note from my pocket. Come, come, Shahid — this is the best food in London!

Hat fishes a fiver out of Riaz’s pocket, as Shahid joins him in eating .

ShahidAre you a student too, Riaz?

RiazYes, of the law. Before, I gave only general and legal advice to the many poor and uneducated people who came to see me in Leeds. But now it is time to make a proper study. So, here I am in London — the mecca for all students, no? ( Notices Hat standing by .) You need more money?

Hat( brandishing the fiver ) I have no change!

RiazArey, give it to me later. ( To Shahid .) Your family name is Hasan, am I right?

ShahidYes.

Riaz( glowing ) A family that bears the name of the martyred son of Ali can only be of great distinction.

Hat browses through Shahid’s bookshelf .

ShahidI’d like to think so.

RiazHow, then, did they let you come to such a derelict college?

ShahidBecause I met a lecturer called Deedee Osgood. I really liked her. So I enrolled. Do you know her?

RiazOh, yes, she has a reputation at the college.

ShahidAt my interview, she only asked what I liked to read and the music I listened to. I talked of Midnight’s Children — have you read that?

Riaz( indicating Hat browsing Shahid’s shelf ) Hat has never seen a book before — he is an accountant. ( Returning to Shahid’s question .) That book was accurate about Bombay. But this time he has gone too far.

ShahidWhen that writer got on TV and attacked racism, Riaz, I wanted to cheer. He spoke from the heart.

RiazMy abha spoke from the heart. He set me on the path of showing our suffering people their rights.

ShahidThat’s exactly what the man argued on TV — our rights against racism.

RiazHow do you like the pakoras?

ShahidThey taste just like my ammi’s.

HatWicked, yaar! I’ll tell my abha. He be dead pleased.

Riaz( to Shahid ) What does your abha do?

ShahidTravel agent. He bought the agency where he worked as a clerk when he first came to Sevenoaks.

Riaz( exclaiming, with satisfaction at having polished off a kebab roll ) Al-hum du’lilla — he found his right path.

ShahidMum runs the agency now with my brother Chili. His wife Zulma’s from Karachi.

RiazWhile your papa enjoys a well-earned retirement!

Shahid( matter of fact ) He died six months ago.

Riaz( sympathetic, as he wipes his fingers on a handkerchief ) To pass your last days so far from home must have been very painful for him.

ShahidNot Papa. Every evening he’d lie in bed in his smoking jacket and entertain visitors like some pasha. His ‘centre of operations’, he’d call it, swigging whisky and soda in a long glass, with Glenn Miller on the turntable.

Riaz looks at him .

Him and Ammi — they’d never go anywhere themselves, apart from Karachi once a year.

RiazYour brother, he is in charge of the business now?

ShahidChili? He has a looser attitude to work.

RiazIs he a dissipater?

Shahid bristles .

( Urging him on .) Eat, eat!

Shahid complies .

What do our people really have in their lives?

ShahidSome have security and purpose at least.

RiazThey have lost themselves.

ShahidThey’ve certainly lost something. My parents always despised their work and laughed at customers for boiling their bodies on foreign beaches.

RiazPrecisely right! No Pakistani would dream of being such an idiot by the seaside — as yet. But soon — don’t you think? — we will be parading about everywhere in these bikinis.

ShahidThat’s what my mother and Chili are waiting for. I’ve got to tell you, Riaz — after Papa died — this is the truth now –

RiazAnything less is worthless.

ShahidI lost it for a while. Did badly at school. I’d, uh, got my girlfriend pregnant, and she’d had to have a late abortion. I started hitting the clubs after that, just bumming around. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I wanted — wanted to — uh –

RiazYes, yes?

Chad enters .

ChadRiaz, brother –

Riaz gestures for Chad to keep quiet .

Riaz( to Shahid ) Speak openly — he is one of us.

ShahidI wanted to be a racist.

ChadWhat kind of thing are we talking about here?

ShahidGo around abusing Pakis, niggers, Chinks, Irish, any foreign scum. Slag them under my breath. Kick them up the arse.

RiazOpen your heart.

ShahidThe thought of sleeping with Asian girls made me sick. I wouldn’t touch brown flesh, except with a branding iron. Even when they came on to me, I couldn’t bear it. I thought, you know, wink at an Asian girl and she’ll want to marry you up.

RiazOh, how is this done?

ChadYou didn’t want to be a racist. I’m telling you that here and now for definite. And I’m informing you that it’s all all right now.

ShahidI am a racist.

ChadYou only a vessel.

ShahidI wanted to join the British National Party. I would have filled in the forms if they have forms. How do you apply to such an organisation?

ChadWould the brother know? Listen. It been the longest, hardest century of racism in the history of everything. How can you not have picked up the vibe in this distorted way? There’s a bit of Hitler in all white people — they’ve given that to you.

RiazOnly those who purify themselves can escape it. Racism turns us away from ourselves. But there is another way. I am honoured to know you, Shahid.

He hugs him .

ShahidI’m pleased to have met you tonight.