Edgar Doctorow - Drinks Before Dinner

(EDGAR unties ALAN. He points the gun at the floor and squeezes the trigger . Click)

ANDREA It wasn’t loaded!

EDGAR No.

ANDREA You were never going to shoot anyone.

EDGAR ( Pausing ) No.

(ALAN rises from his chair, arranges his tie, his vest, buttons his jacket, shoots his cuffs. Recovers his eyeglasses from the coffee table )

ALAN You led me to believe I was at the point of death. What do you think you accomplished?

EDGAR Nothing. I accomplished nothing. You were already dead. I was looking into the eyes of a ghost born of ghosts. I heard it speaking the words of life. Maybe that’s something. At least I know who I am.

ALAN I could have told you who you are. I’ve known from the beginning who you are. You’re one of the beneficiaries of a society that has provided more to its own than any other in the history of civilization. You’re one of those useless beneficiaries who is given everything but respects nothing — one of those hypocrites of privilege who condemns everything but relinquishes nothing. You are a whining, pulullating psychopath. You are one of the wretches of ingratitude who has risen to the top as scum rises to the top. You are scum. You’re a hero of the precious sensibility whose genius is to say in a thousand clever ways how humanity disappoints you, but who if left to yourself would not survive a day. You wouldn’t be able to feed yourself or clothe yourself or keep yourself warm. You wouldn’t even know how to wipe your ass. You are one of those traitorous malcontents, one of those spiritual vandals who would like to be a revolutionary but hasn’t the balls of a flea.

( He takes the gun from EDGAR’s hand )

EDGAR God bless our class.

ALAN It will give me great pleasure to decide what you deserve for this little entertainment. Yes, I will think of something. It will have all the trappings of justice that we’ve come to expect. But it will be well conceived, I can assure you. ( He walks to the doorway, stands and looks at them all ) I’ll know I can reach you through your friends here. I hold you all responsible! To think the work I do protects and preserves your treacherous souls. ( To the MAID) May I have my coat, please?

(ALAN exits, followed by the MAID. There is a long silence. The MAID returns , CLAUDETTE goes to her, comforts her )

CLAUDETTE ( Looking toward the door ) Very well. ( Looking around the room ) Very well! First these children must go to bed. ( To the children ) Say good night to everyone. Go on.

( The children proceed to be kissed and hugged by everyone. This is done solemnly or fervently but in silence . JOAN weeps. The children linger for an extra moment beside EDGAR. Then they are hugged tightly by CLAUDETTE and exit with JOEL and the MAID)

EDGAR. So. It’s turned out to be not a bad evening, after all.

JOAN Even memorable.

CLAUDETTE And now we’ll go in to dinner.

Curtain

For the original production of Drinks Before Dinner I was fortunate to have the association of Mike Nichols, director, who agitated consistently for a clarity of language and event, and in numerous ways contributed to my understanding of the play; Christopher Plummer, who brought his prodigious skills to the role of Edgar, and afforded me many crucial insights from the performer’s point of view; and Joe Papp, producer, who created an environment conducive to experimentation, and provided both support and criticism in generous amounts. To them and to all the members of the cast and crew, I am deeply indebted.

E. L. DOCTOROW was born in New York and educated at Kenyon College and Columbia University. His novels include Welcome to Hard Times; The Book of Daniel , a National Book Award nominee; and Ragtime , winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award for fiction. Drinks Before Dinner was first performed at the New York Shakespeare Festival’s Public Theater in the fall of 1978.